while we’re here...
Would you continue reading past the first two chapters provided you had the time?
Honestly, no. I’m not a big lover of fantasy and the story is clearly built very heavily on a modified-fantastical world. The first two chapters, especially the first chapter really, were strongly based on world-building and while the second chapter did have a character introduction, it kind of continued to lean on the idea of hooking us via worldbuild (i.e. we know Eory was abandoned by his parents, but it’s coupled with a magical warrior and the concept of “evil thoughts” and “the king”).
The first chapter left me a little lost to be honest, I didn’t know where we were for the most of it, I didn’t know why Eory was acting the way he was (biting?), and the overall change back and forth between describing sound and monotonously describing Eory’s actions left me even more at a loss than before (he bit his arm -> drip drip drip -> he started sweating nervously -> drip drip drip).
Do I feel like the first two chapters could be a pull for someone who does enjoy fantasy? Yes, absolutely. They’re both curious, they do manage to raise our sympathy towards Kori and Eory, and they throw a lot of “nets” (potential plotlines, questions unanswered) which are left un-reeled in. The strongest one for me being, why bite himself?
I do feel like these chapters could’ve actually been better if they were merged together because I felt in need of ‘human’ interaction in the first chapter, something to ground me down to what’s going on.
From what you read, were you drawn in by the characters?
Yes. I touched on this in the first point but I did feel, surprisingly fast, sympathy towards both characters. I don’t know much around them yet so it’s something of a flimsy feeing, but it is there.
Eory makes for a fantastic enigma right off the bat and I think he more or less stays that way. The childlike way of describing him suggests the story will be coming-of-age which supported genres I do like and definitly put him in a different light to me.
Kori, while a bit more one-sided at this point, makes for an interesting semi-caring caretaker. Her remark about sending Eory off to the king felt a tad out of place for me, a bit info-dump-y even? However, immediately after, I felt their conversation about death veery strongly. There’s something inherently ‘off’ about both characters which garners a lot of interest from me.
What were your general opinions on the story
Again, have touched on this in previous points but... the truth is, it’s hard to say? Both first chapters give very very little information and I feel like I’ve generally only read the first two pages of a 200-page-story. It’s very hard for me to give any general opinions at this point because there’s not much to build opinions on yet.
The characters are interesting, the setting, to me, a non-fantasy-reader, is a bit confusing, the pace is a tad slow. The writing style was pretty refreshing even if it didn’t quite hit the marks for me specifically. I think there’s a lot to build on and I have no doubt you’ll make use of it splendidly.