Would Love Some Feedback On My 1st Fantasy Prose Chapter Please! ^^

[LWriter]

Hello, ^^ I released my new fantasy Novel here this month, with a special comic prologue, and now just released the first prose chapter for it, and just nervous if I did all right! My last prose work was much lighter and humorous, and I wanted to write this differently, more like a traditional fantasy novel, the kind I grew up reading, and honestly, just want to know if it's any good. If anyone could read even half the chapter and tell me "Hey, that's not bad" or "Yeah, that feels legit" or anything like that, I'd be super grateful, and I hope it's ok to ask that! No worries if no one does, but figured it couldn't hurt to ask ^^ Link is here:

Read Santa Fae :: Part One - Chapter # 1 | Tapas Novels

[Surihpas]

Hiya! I think you most certainly did. It feels like this chapter drops us directly into the beginning of Sherry's journey without falling into the information dumping/exhausting exposition trap. You paint a clear, vivid picture of what's going on, the characters have distinctive voices and there are enough elements there that makes you want to know more.

I think that like most readers (or... maybe writers who are overly vigilant about certain things in their own writing) I could point some things out if you really wanted me to (if you do, feel free to send me a PM), but I don't think they're too big or noticeable. So yes, overall a great first chapter.

Best of luck with your novel!

[Ordinaryaverageguy]

I liked it! I like the style of writing as well as the presentation of many hints that must be made clear later on.

[LWriter]

@Ordinaryaverageguy Thank you ^^ really appreciate that! I feel like my first novel was much lighter and impromptu, with me just experimenting, so wanted to try something more formal here, glad it worked lol

[coco-ji]

I took a look just now and really liked what I read so far. I really like the play on words in the title. I noticed in the prologue that Sherry's family has origins in Venezuela, so I'm assuming that the elves in this universe are at least on a foundational level coded that way. Which is Nice considering how elves are typically coded. But there is still that familiar fantasy elf trope where they think they're better than the other beings. I like that you created tension between Sherry's family and the status quo in that way. By the time we get to when her story really starts, we can see that no one is really on her side in the beginning. So whatever support or friends she gets along the way, she'll have to earn them from making those connections on her own with some pretty tough social barriers to get around no less.

So yes, everything feels legit! I'm excited to see how everything will unfold. And I'm rooting for Sherry!

[LWriter]

@coco-ji I never did reply to you here lol, but as I said in the comments, glad you liked it! Chapter 2 just came out, now in the present day, hope you you enjoy it as well! ^^ and anyone else reading this, I’d love some feedback on that chapter as well! The first was a flashback, this is like the first proper intro to the present story, so curious how it does as such ^^

Check out Part One - Chapter # 2 from Santa Fae on Tapas.

Read Santa Fae :: Part One - Chapter # 2 | Tapas Novels

[coco-ji]

Thanks for updating! I'm looking forward to seeing how it progresses!

[LWriter]

No prob! Looking forward to your thoughts! Been writing non stop on this one lol

[system]

This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.