Writing shy characters (and introverts versus extroverts)

[Leyelle]

If you're an extrovert, do you have trouble writing extroverts? If you're an introvert do you have trouble writing extroverts?

How about writing about social anxiety and shyness?

I don't think I really struggle writing introverts, despite not being one because one of my closest friends is an introvert, and he tells me constantly about how many things burn him out, and those get mixed into my characters.

In the spectrum of shy characters, I think a lot of people find characters that are shy or passive annoying, but I personally think they can have as much depth as independent 'assertive' characters, and it's just when we make shy a synonym for helpless that the characters seem redundant.

My female lead in "Damsel in the Red Dress" and my male lead in "Hushabye Prince" are both rather shy, quiet people, but they deal with these things extremely differently.

Despite Alicia's severe shyness and social anxiety, she pushes through it to still pursue her dream, doing speeches, interviews, and interacting with strangers. But it's something she had to work through and stop allowing to handicap her life.

Jinwoo never talks to strangers, but his shyness comes from his wariness of scaring other people, and as he gets more comfortable, he comes out of his shell. He not that passive, but does avoid expressing himself sometimes to try to avoid trouble. I's not because he has no opinions or interests, he just tends to express them with people he trusts rather than strangers.

That said, neither one of them are passive enough to tolerate people doing things to them without complaint or resistance, and that is an important boundary line.

Alicia didn't have this at one point but she has it now. Jinwoo has always had it, though he's rarely needed to exercise it since, despite being quiet and generally chill, he usually gets his own way.

[AmysGames]

First of all, I will note that having social anxiety (or being shy) isn't the same thing as being an introvert, lol. I personally consider myself somewhere in the middle of the introvert vs. extrovert scale, but get super bad social anxiety in certain situations. Try being a shy extrovert! It sucks!

That being said, I don't feel like I have any particular issues writing either side of that particular spectrum, but it does feel a little unnatural writing a character who can just casually approach total strangers without panicking.

[Leyelle]

First of all, I will note that having social anxiety (or being shy) isn't the same thing as being an introvert, lol.

no no, I know. That's why I included an 'and.' My female lead has all three cards in her deck, making social interactions very not fun

but it does feel a little unnatural writing a character who can just casually approach total strangers without panicking.

Kimberly has entered the chat

[beebutterbee]

I write both introverted and extroverted characters, I think maybe because I flip flop between the two in myself. I’ve had phases of being incredibly shy and quiet, but I think I’m always the one to initiate conversation! Right now I’m in my ambivert phase lol. I also like writing characters from different experiences than mine own, because often I emphasize with the experience of my close friends who range from extremely introverted to very extroverted.

In my current webcomic I haven’t shown shy characters yet, but I have shown a couple anti social characters.

[Leyelle]

I also like writing characters from different experiences than mine own

I totally agree. I write a lot of characters from perspectives very different from my own. It can be a struggle to represent them well, but when I can make myself or other people sympathize with them then I think I've succeeded in rendering them well

[skidiggy]

I find that it's challenging for me to write characters with different thought processes sometimes, but not terribly difficult to write introverts/extroverts. In both cases, I lean on personal experience and second-hand stories to fill in the blanks that I don't have direct knowledge of. For example, I wouldn't have much in common with an extrovert motorcycle racer who breeds show dogs, but can write from their perspective by "becoming" them during the writing process (which can be exhausting, depending on the character).

[Leyelle]

it's especially exhausting to become a character who goes through a lot of emotional roller coasters. the things we do for our art lol

[skidiggy]

I totally hear ya on that. Have put myself (and my characters) through nightmarish levels of stress, only to find myself amped up from imaginary problems.

It's like, "Oh, your warrior character is afraid that he's accidentally killed the female lead? That's awful! Well, it stinks, but you've only got thirty minutes to have a meltdown before you need to finish writing the chapter."

[Leyelle]

I've actually started crying writing my own stories sometimes lol

[Leyelle]

Probably the most extroverted character in "Damsel in the Red Dress" is going to get more air time in an upcoming chapter, that person being Alicia's baby brother Andrew. He's kind of bubbly, existing in a state where he chooses to believe that everyone is his friend unless they prove themselves otherwise. I think this is a very rare type of person, so I don't have many characters like this lol, but his upbringing made him an unusual sort of person.

[Leyelle]

Alicia is evolving a bit more over the course of the book "Sun with a Paper Crown" she's still and introvert, but she's learning how to interact better with strangers and not let them break her down the way they used to

[Leyelle]

I had to include this, because it's what the introverts I know have said to me so many times about phone calls-

---

It takes too long before he replies with a single question mark. It’s immediately followed by a quick “Yeah sure, but lemme just call. I’m so tired of texting.”

The second he says ‘call’ my introvert brain panics - flashing red lights and sirens -

But my need-to-know heart worries that saying ‘no’ would end the conversation where it is - and I know that would drive me infinitely crazier than I’d ever be willing to suffer just to avoid twenty minutes or even two hours of awkward conversation.

I make myself answer the phone after its second ring.

Read Damsel in the Red Dress :: Cooties (Part. 1) | Tapas Community

[NickRowler]

As someone with horrible anxiety, my major issue I have with other people writing shy characters (usually with women/girls) is when it is framed as being "cute" or "moé".

Anxiety is not cute for people who have it. It can be very mentally draining and taxing on people. Especially if it is also paired up with anxiety attacks or PTSD.

I have really bad anxiety but I would not call myself an introvert. I really enjoy interacting with other people. Some of my anxiety comes from worrying bad stuff is going to happen. Or due to being sort of hard of hearing and struggling to dealing with someone telling me to do several things all at once and my brain can't process that much information.

[Leyelle]

As someone with horrible anxiety, my major issue I have with other people writing shy characters (usually with women/girls) is when it is framed as being "cute" or "moé".

Anxiety is not cute for people who have it. It can be very mentally draining and taxing on people. Especially if it is also paired up with anxiety attacks or PTSD.

I agree. There is a difference between anxiety and being shy and also introversion. Anxiety is definitely not fun by any stretch of the imagination.

[pjthetoonaddict]

Well, in real life, I'm SUPER awkward unless with close friends. I feel it's an autistic thing.

But, I feel like Clyborne-Chatterjee is the best example I have of writing an introvert vs an extrovert.

I try to push those characteristics to the extremes so that they bounce off each other.

But yeah, I feel like that helps me write an extrovert character, since I'm pretty much the opposite. I give him someone more quiet as comparison, and push both qualities more.

Cly doesn't interact with more than one person at a time, but Rin really loves interacting with new people and large groups.

[Leyelle]

Well, in real life, I'm SUPER awkward unless with close friends.

Really? I didn't get that at all from talking to you here, but I guess it can be different online lol. I love talking to new people in person and online. I'm extremely extroverted

[SumireHime]

I think being an introvert helps me write more sympathetic extroverts. I can get into their personal, hidden anxieties and guess at what goes on in that brain. It creates a much more understood extrovert for the reader.

[Leyelle]

I can get into their personal, hidden anxieties and guess at what goes on in that brain.

How so? I mean, how do you think being an introvert helps you understand what takes place in an extroverts brain?

[Leyelle]

Essence is probably the most reserved person I've ever written so far. While she might be an introvert as well, she is also just antisocial to the extreme. This makes the male lead seem like he should be her exact opposite when he seems so bubbly and extroverted at first glance, but really, he's pretty okay with staying home and spending time with his family rather than going out on the town most of the time. He's also totally okay with spending time by himself reading and listening to music. I so I found it interesting, not to balance her extreme emotions, or lack there of, regarding other people, with the opposite extreme of being a golden retriever who wants to befriend everyone, but with moderation. Maybe some things can have two opposites.

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[sams_cartoon_shack]

I'm one of those odd autistic types who displays ambiverted tendencies, so when I write my characters, their introversion or extroversion manifests naturally as I don't actively ponder on those characteristics in the process.