My story notes for Re:Apotheosis books 3-5 are filled with question marks and plot points that seemed like a good idea at the time, and then didn't work for one reason or another. But the one that really sticks in my mind, as far as a last minute course correction goes, is this speech (which I already spoiled in another thread) from an upcoming chapter of The Odyssey of Daiki Yamato:
Aquila stared at Cap, and then looked at Kasumi and Daiki. “I killed a kid today,” she said. “Her name was Alice Yamada. She was only fifteen years old. The thing she wanted most of all was to become an idol singer, but that wasn’t her wish. The wish she wanted granted if she won this atrocity was for her grandmother to be able to come home from the hospital. She was young, and scared, and was still trying to work up the courage to put her finger on the trigger when I killed her. I was just trying to wound her. But I haven’t been in a fight for five years. I’m rusty, and I used too many swords. She deserved to live, and I killed her.”
“You could use your wish to bring her back!” the young man declared, desperation in his voice. “You could bring everybody back!”
“This one is a psychopath,” Aquila continued. “The wish he wants granted is be the greatest serial killer in history, and never get caught. He doesn’t deserve to live. He doesn’t even deserve to have his name remembered. But that’s not the worst of it. The worst of it is that Alice Yamada isn’t a protagonist, or even a primary character. She’s the sort of support character who dies to establish the stakes in the story. She was probably supposed to fight him today and lose. There’s no replacement coming for her in the next information stream update. She’s gone, and I’m the one who killed her.”
“She’s making up wild stories, and they’re all lies!” the young man said. “I’m trying to help my sick parents – I’ve never hurt anybody before!”
Aquila ignored him, the circle of swords accelerating. “This one is a primary antagonist. He’s here until the end of the story. When the next information stream update arrives, every single power I took away from him will be back. So you want me to spare the person who deserves to die, while the one who deserved to live died by my hand? I can’t do that.” Her lips curled into a sneer. “But it’s okay. It’s all coming back to me now.”
Three swords slammed into the young man, impaling him in the stomach, chest, and head. He toppled over. The spinning circle of swords disappeared. Aquila’s shoulders hunched.
“Daiki, Cap, thank you for trying to see the best in me,” she said. “I wish I could be like you. But, I’m not. I’m just a villain. That’s all. I’ll understand if you want to continue on without me.” Without meeting their gaze, she walked back into the building.
This speech almost didn't exist. The original plan in the outline was that in the fight preceding it, Aquila would just de-power the enemy they were fighting, they'd knock the guy out, tie him up for the night, and just leave him out in the open when they left. The reveal of Aquila having killed the kid would have been done sometime later.
And, when I reached this scene, I realized that there was no way that Aquila as she is at this point in her character arc would let this guy live. There was no way for them to tie the guy up and just leave him there that wouldn't derail her character and prevent her character arc from going properly from point A to point B. So, the change was made, the speech appeared, and I think, at least, the end result was one of the most powerful moments in the entire story.
