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Feb 2023

I think it'd be interesting to know the thoughts of people regardless of it being Het, GL or BL ;0

You can share your feelings about stories you've read and your thoughts!

I liked talking about what I dislike of people that write BL, but, if we expand on that question... What do you think about romance in general?

Not a thread to clash the BL one, but honestly curious on what your thoughts are on the matter.

Edit: removed the reddit thing after considering it unnecessary :thumbsup:

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    Feb '23
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    Mar '23
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I think one that bothers me is that everyone (especially teens) need to be paired up with someone else in the story. And that pairing becomes the OTP and they get married by the end.

I think there needs to be more normalizing that not everyone would be dating, either being uninterested, a late bloomer, or maybe they haven't found someone yet. And while high school sweethearts are a thing, I feel like newer generations tend to not marry straight out of high school. Meeting someone in college or post college is far more common. And I feel like if readers really wanted all characters to be together, they can create their own headcanons.

Yeaah, it creates such a bad message and contributes to how one is pressured into marriage cause otherwise you'll be sad, alone and who would take care of you when older? (which is like super unfair to ask when children are not meant to be had just so they take care of you)

Don't use AskReddit, that sub is 99% trolls.

I've been an avid redditor for six years or so and one thing people will quickly notice, is if you're karma farming. I'd definitely suggest just going to active subreddits like r/webtoon and r/webcomics, or r/artistslounge if you want sincere and meaningful answers. But you also should interact sincerely, without the intention of karma farming. Just engaging truthfully with the community basically.

Reddit also has policies against pushing people to comment/upvote on threads purely for karma farming so be careful with that kind of request.

Well... for me I watched movies like Breakfast at Tiffany's. At first the movie annoyed me because Tiffany's definition of fun was robbing a place and she was like "LET'S ROB SOMETHING THAT'S 10 CENTS AT A KID'S SHOP! IT'LL BE SO FUN!!!". I loved the movie at the end because they were aware that something was off about this lady and she deserved to be stranded in Rio but yeah, at the moment it felt like it was romanticizing actions like this.

Infantilization is another one where a woman or a man acts like a baby. There's a lot of romances where girls and men do baby talk which is weird. I'm okay with characters having weird kinks, but this is the one where I cross the line (along with other pedoliphic ones).

I never want to see another cartoon where children below the age of 16 date. Or High School sweet hearts like @NickRowler said. I do think it's damaging to the youth and puts standards on them. It prevents them with their studies and all that (I've seen kids date like on TV and they were having arguments in Recess). Some single mothers too. In fact, I'd go the extra mile and be like "NEVER EXPLORE ROMANCE WITH CHILDREN. PERIOD". I get it. Children develop crushes on teachers and other kids. But I think we reached the point where society (specifically Twitter) can't handle this. UNLESS IT'S A CAUTIONARY TALE or the lesson is "Yeah how about you DON'T". Kids have enough to worry about.

I never wanna see a damn woodland creature fall in love. This comes from my hate from how Sonic writers have been pushing releationships recently.

Dumb fathers. Simpsons did it. No need to copy them. Probably the only thing that made me disappointed about Gumball, one of the greatest Cartoon Network shows.

If I sound strict... it's just with these particular stuff lmao.

Oh thank you! I really don't know much about reddit, I was just discouraged cause everyone asks for high levels of karma ;-; thouuugh, I can't lie in that it is an interesting question and I like reading the comments I'm getting :thinking:

Some subreddits have karma requirements but it's mostly for that reason. Because new people come in, post something, and then disappear without actually bothering to engage with the community. And a lot of those subreddits will also want you to have a certain level of engagement in that specific community before you post. Karma farming is unfortunately a big problem (though I do get where you're coming from).

There's a ton of solid communities though to engage with.

Oh, so there's honest subreddits that don't ask for karma to interact? I had the idea everyone had this wall thus why I resorted to this. Thanks for lhe examples, I do prefer sincere and meaningful answers C:

Just imagine how much spam there would be if there wasn't a karma system, too. It'd be full of bots spamming ads all over the place.

Hmmm, yeah, sound reasonable. Though I'm glad there's ways to build honest karma cause otherwise it would be necessary to resort to the karma farming :thinking: But thanks, reddit has always been intimidating to me, so I appreciate knowing it's not impossible C:

Thank youu, I'll be sure to check it out and participate BD Also, I deleted the reddit thing of this thread so if you wish to share your thoughts about romance writing do feel welcome C: I appreciate your explanation about reddit :smile:

Every time there's the "oh no! the misunderstanding! one part of the pairing heard something wrong and came to wrong conclusions and now the whole conflict shall be centered around their inability to talk it through! but don't worry it's funny 'cause it's a comedy!" trope - I want to chew a hole in the wall

Oh, yeah, no worries. I'm a reddit junkie so if it's helpful that's good.

As for thread topic, I'd like to see more healthy non-vanilla romances. I feel like the majority of non-vanilla tends to be abusive in nature and it puts a really bad light on people with alternative relationships and lifestyles.

Service doms seem like they don't even exist sometimes. I've come across it maybe twice ever in anything I've read (both literary works and comics).

Oh, another thing I really hate in a lot of romance works-- and this is especially common in comics-- is when the OTP falls in love, and then the next day whoever is the designated sub (and I could go on about the annoyance toward this trope too) gets kidnapped and nearly or outright molested, and then hero dom saves the day due to their super epic money/power/sleuthing skills and saves the prince(ss), who is incapable of doing anything other than crying.

It's super frustrating! I've read tons of webcomics that center their whole plot through misunderstandings and it's horrifying XD I get misunderstandings are part of life but they really like pushing it to inhuman levels >_>

I don't like how romance has become so hyperfocused in stories. So many stories nowadays tend to shoe-horn in a romance when their really doesn't need to be. Two men can be close friends without seeing each other as romantic partners. The strong, kicka** baddie doesn't HAVE to have a wife. She can have a soft husband or a battlehusband who is fighting right by her side, or a novel concept, she can be bad all by herself. No romance required.

A person's exlover doesn't have to be the built-in enemy in the story. A lot of the time, people just break up because they grew apart. Your ex isn't always crazy or secretly plotting on getting you back.

Like Nick, I'm tired of high school kids being paired together and considered OTP. To add to that, I'm tired of the one "true love" per hero. While characters like Lois Lane and Peggy Carter have their good points, their sole purpose in the story becomes to be the love interest of the male lead. The male leads also don't get the opportunity to grow and develop because their focus is protecting their one love interest. It's not even in superhero shows, even How I Met Your Mother did it to us.

One of my biggest pet peeves is also directly tied to how female characters are written. In romances, the girl is usually written as either an abused baby needing rescuing, an ultra-naive sweetpea, or she's a brat. That's it. A little common sense and backbone would make all the difference. The trope of Man: don't do this. Woman: Why not? Because I'm a girl? - really wouldn't be a thing if she was written to be a fully realized person with some common sense rather than a 2D Mary Sue who thinks that a strong feminist character involves punching people and yelling at men for presumably wronging them. *I don't know if this exists in queer romances but it sure bugs me in het romances.

Lastly, shaming the character for making the "sensible" choice. A lot of romance movies low key glorify cheating. They might not be physically cheating on their partners but they are sure as shooting cheating on them emotionally. People might get mixed feelings and rethink their choices, and I think that's fine and valid. But sometimes the romantic plotline is hyped so much that when the lead choses the "safe" partner, rejecting their "fun" partner, they are shamed for it. It's tiring.

Couples hitting each other or generally treating one or the other like shit. Being struck is literally a red flag to get the hell away from them, end of story. Humiliating is also a sure way to make a relationship not work. If you don't respect and generally don't care if you publicly make fun of them, you will soon find your relationship over. This is why in real life Dom/Sub relations don't last. In the quiet of your bedroom, it's game on. But in public, where others can see you, there is basically no chance it will work.

Most romance comics are not real people at how they act and the like. Misunderstandings are fine for immature relationships (highschool), but once you live life for a bit, you just tend to talk it out or leave.

The guy or girl that can't decide on two different people, usually gets neither. And specially for a guy, he who plays hard to get, gets none. Girls don't put up with that in real life. That is why harem anime/manga are annoying. Shy/introvert/awkward guys don't have 3+ girls throwing themselves at him.

Having the 2 gay/lesbian couple in a group/school liking or love each other automatically as the only 2 in the area. In most comics stories it seems all same sex couples have to be is close to one another and BOOM, they date and fall in love. I get it that's the story, but it happens way to often to be normal. There are plenty of hetero people in group settings that don't date or actively hate each other in comics.

Finally I'm tired of basically the pursuer being all but a stalker/predator. This is a big trope in BL comics for sure. They get away with stuff no traditional romance could. It is a strange fantasy.

My thinking is make your romance as normal and realistic as you can while changing the setting. The situation can be different, but the people have to act like humans, not space aliens or how you think humans should act.

Nothing annoys me more than when one of them (in a straight couple, pretty much always the man) is extremely fucked up and scary and mean & stuff and the other one is basically just there to “fix” their asshole partner.