A different perspective on Confidence

[LCT_m_a_d]

I agree with you, like most things "faking" isn't inherently good or bad, it's the absence of known reality.
I can be considered fake when I don't voice my opinion if I believe it would do more harm than good. I think even early posting here on tapas people have mentioned I come off as if I'm wearing a mask (jumping back into the art community).

Also everything I'm saying is discussion not really debating. What it true for me, may not be relevant for you. My fear is when people are boxed in because they've never been offered a different perspective.

You also bring up a great point that I hope doesn't get lost. Self-control should be a lifestyle goal.
I also get ridiculed quite often for practicing meditation lifestyle because It's too passive and I "don't need it, I just need more assertive". That can be a security blanket, but at the same time it's also helped me stay grounded in courage.

Hopefully I didn't come off as dismissive to anything you mentioned and if I did, disregard it.

[Oto_Kouda]

My confidence is so, so weird.

I grew up doing theater semi-professionally. I've been on stages acting, singing, and dancing in front of thousands of people. I always had the mindset of, "There are so many people here that I shouldn't care what they think. I don't know them, they don't know me, but I want them to at least remember the performance I give."

Writing for people online feels the same way to me. Before I go on stage (publish the chapter), I'm a little nervous. I practiced and practiced (wrote and edited) for this day, and I'm hoping that my performance (writing) is enough to sway people.

My confidence stems from me knowing that I've done things that should be unbelievably nerve-wracking, so whatever I'm doing should feel easier in comparison. When it comes to skills or talents, I have a thing or two that I know I'm good at, but I'm only confident in those things because I know that my opinion about those talents have been validated by enough people that I have no room to doubt it.

[LCT_m_a_d]

I love everything about that, especially the piano part. Both the extension of confidence to other things, and also
I play a little.

[rajillustration]

Ah that's great! Piano playing is such a wonderful skill to have, real good for the brain and the soul.

[Zin_Trollborn]

For me it's not really confidence, it's just that.... I don't have any fucks to give anymore about a lot of things.

Don't want to do something? Fuck it!
Want to do something? Fuck yeah!
And if it turns to crap? Fuck it!
Let's do something else instead! Fuck yeah!

Not so easy to apply it whenever it pleases me tho, I lost a job because of it actually.
"Hey what's wrong with your work? it's like you don't care at all"
Well, they weren't wrong and I couldn't hide it

[sorible]

Same! I was concert master in a symphony orchestra onstage for tons of people, but when I was in the practice room next to a little boy (his mom said, "you should play like that person!") I felt so self conscious. It's been a while since I've performed but I feel like that fear probably won't ever go away.