I've been rereading my story a lot to tweak some things that need tweaking. Recently, I've decided that my current starting paragraph is a bit too exposition-heavy and doesn't do a lot to hook people into the current story. I don't want to be overly expository, but I do enjoy a bit of background information every now and then. I'm looking for some advice on how I should approach this or whether I should keep what I already have.
My current draft posted here actually has two different opening paragraphs: one from an introduction, and one from chapter 1. Here they are respectively:
Current (Introduction)
I blame the Romansāgenerally speaking. How unfortunate that the word for āleft sideā has evolved into the word for āevil.ā Language evolves in sinister ways.
Twenty-two years ago, I began writing a series of journals that I called Aberdeenās Anthology. It vividly recounted the horrid histories behind some of the most sinister people. Marion Marley lived off the thrill of terrorizing people. Mark Twain succumbed his readers to a tragic natural death of excruciating boredom. Howard Heim managed to eat an entire batch of poisonous cookies he himself had baked and claimed to feel fine afterwards. Chuck Nietzsche, Friedrichās lesser-known brother, had killed Ra, just as his brother had killed God, in an effort to one-up him.
Current (Chapter 1)
The town of Plainwood weaved like a figure-eight around a range of frosty, pine-covered mountains called the Monnellians. It was about the size of Monaco and had a population of no more than 2,000. Everybody knew each other, which was good, since no one would ever get a chance to meet anyone else otherwise. While technically within the borders of Washington state, it was so far to the northwest and covered by so many veils and thick borders that it practically separated itself from everything else. A sovereign city-state, one would say, unrecognized and unknown by many other governments. There was no need to leave nor was there any to enter. For this reason, everyone spent their whole life in Plainwood, and they were content with it. Everybody grew up together. Every generation was its own inseparable posseāwhether they could stand someone or not. Luckily, everybody had their own intertangled Venn diagram of relations, where they could easily move from group to group, even if some pieces of one group rubbed off into another.
But now I'm considering whether I should keep or get rid of the introduction, as well as whether to change chapter 1's opening paragraph.
I drafted four different candidates for chapter 1:
Idea 1
As one of the only four people to live in the notorious Riverside Road, Eileen Pritchett found it disappointing that only now did she receive her first hideous encounter. Still, she was as worried as anyone else who received their first hideous encounter.
Idea 2
Eileen Pritchett spent most of her night tossing and turning on her couch. Her sleeping on the couch had nothing to do with her hideous encounter from last night, though it was convenient that the couch was right there. She had always heard her friends and family talk about hideous encounters and had always felt a combination of smugness and disappointment for never having one herself. After all, not only did she live on Riverside Road, but she also lived in the house with the statue of the hand on it.
Idea 3 (This is already a paragraph in my current draft, but is not at the exact start)
Eileen Pritchett was a young woman of thirty-one years, a hundred thirty pounds, and five feet nine inches. She had been crashing on her couch not because it was the closest place to sleep after her encounter last night but because she found it much more comfortable than her king-sized bed in the master bedroom. She had spent the night tossing and turning, as shown by her long auburn hair strewn everywhere and from her t-shirt and leggings rolled up as far as they could go.
Idea 4 (Less Eileen-centric and more about the person behind her "hideous encounter"--who is equally important) (This is also an existant paragraph in my current draft)
A young woman trudging through the woods found herself by a lightly flowing stream. Seeing her reflection was the perfect jarring wakeup call she needed to enter a pensive state of reflection as well. Natalie looked into her aqua blue eyes, lost in thought and memories, but mostly lost in herself. She could never get used to the sight of her own face. She looked at the person on the other side of the water: the pretty, innocent-looking, dark-haired, dark-complexioned girl. She smirked at her in disbelief, doubtful that this was the same person who had lived such a roller-coaster of a life that she only barely had enough tickets to ride. She looked up at the sky and shivered. There were birds in the sky cackling, and she couldnāt help but think it was directed towards her. She looked down at the valley and almost lost her balance at the thought of how high up she had gotten. She cupped her hands to get a drink from the stream. Then she jumped across, almost falling in, but only getting up to her shins wet. The wind was strong, the air was cold, and the trees were rustling. She quickly sidestepped in fear when a gnarled old trunk fell over.
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Jun '21last reply
Jun '21- 9
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Good luck with your story!
