Any misery-enabled artists out there?

[winglesscomic]

I hate drawing so yes. I only do it because I have no other way of expressing my stories or ideas. But if I don't do it then I feel like I'm unproductive and wasting my time doing non-drawing things. Yet pretty much every time I draw I absolutely dread it cause it isn't fun and I'm not even gonna go into the misery of comparing yourself to all your senpais and realizing you are shit, you are like a child's drawing that goes on your family fridge. And that just makes it worse.

[keii4ii]

Internal dread/anxiety is a therapist topic, not an art teacher's expertise. It's possible that you suffer from an anxiety disorder on some level, and for whatever reason, under specific conditions (e.g. not having drawn in a while), the act of drawing triggers you.

There is widespread misconception about anxiety and triggers. When I say "maybe X triggers you," that doesn't mean I'm accusing you of being weak. I was an exceptionally stable person for over 30 years until anxiety hit me a few months ago. Most people have NO idea what it's like. If it gets bad to a point where you cannot stay functional (like it did for me), try to seek professional help. And don't despair when your family, close friends, etc. don't seem to get it. They have no way of knowing what it is like. I was absolutely clueless about it, too, before I experienced it firsthand.

[YamamotoRyuunosuke]

I do not enjoy drawing or painting, but I feel really uncomfortable when I'm not doing it. Like an unpleasant drug that you got addicted to. My back hurts, my hand hurts, my head hurts. But the joy of seeing a finished piece that looks better than one before is more than enough for me to actually enjoy this work.

[carloswebcomic]

Yup. I don't enjoy drawing. I like giving life to the things in my head.
The whole process of making a comic frustrates me to no end, from writing to drawing. It leaves me exasperated and I often wonder why I'm even doing it.
But when I finish a page, and even better, when I get good reactions, It gives me a high. I guess I'm addicted to that. I'm an attention whore.

[Kura]

I like drawing character designs, I don't mind a picture here and there, but I hate drawing, because I hate a lot of aspects included in drawing. Composition, lighting, colour, layout, effects??? **** all that bullshit noise I just wanna put lines on paper and not have to think about any of that friggen shit.

Most of all I hate drawing comics. A lot. I just REALLY enjoying telling and reading stories in a comic format, a lot. I like getting the ideas out of my head and onto paper, and I draw them because no one else is going to ****ing do it. It's a very literal love hate relationship.

[UzukiCheverie]

Haha, glad to see I'm not the only one who hates what they do lol

I dunno, I just find it very hard to motivate myself. But I get stressed when I'm not able to draw as well. I've got this weird balance of "I love it, but I fucking hate it" going on with my craft. Will I continue to do it? Yes. Will I enjoy it? I'll have my moments, but for the most part, kill me pls.

But it's what I do. And I'm the only one that can do it. It's pretty much a responsibility at this point. C'est la vie.

[ashriott]

I love and really enjoy drawing and painting. But I do feel the occasional anxiousness and misery while doing it, which is mainly fueled by my lack of improvement and ability to draw something correctly. The more and more I draw, the more it becomes apparent that I'm not very good and translating the ideas and visions in my head. I want to give my ideas/stories the best art it deserves, but its never usually the case. So in that sense, I get nervous, I get disappointed and my drawing levels drop. But I've always understood the importance of practice, so I'm too stumped by it. Drawing is still very therapeutic to me despite what I've just mentioned.

[jacintawibowo]

I used to be like that, especially during my teen years and early college year. Most of the time it's because when I have the canvas in front of me, I keep thinking I have to do a good job, make a good drawing "worthy" of positing on the internet or showing to others. It wasn't until maybe second year in college I was taught not to think about the end product of your drawing, just churn out a lot of drawing as a learning experience. I started liking drawing much more after that, and now I can't imagine living without drawing everyday! I still have my bad doodles and some I didn't like working on, but I do enjoy drawing for the most part.

[demthorshie]

Drawing comics in general don't bring about any thoughts or feelings of misery in general. The only time my comic does get me stressed out is when I have to update during a busy work week and the pressure really only comes about because of time restraints and deadlines. I actually really enjoy the drawing process of my comic a lot, I just sometimes dislike how long it takes to draw the pages out, you know?

[BitterOath]

Art never really relaxed me, and thus I can't consider myself a "hobby" artist because of it. It feels like work, like a mission. But I like...being on that mission?? :'D

Also, those inert moments sound like you're having a sort of art block, which is very VERY common. I think it's how you word it that gets confusing for others to relate with. If only my work didn't block youtube, I could lead you to a video talking about the way art blocks work...but basically, your eye and your hand are not meeting up one another at that time, so everything looks bad, and no matter how hard you work, it just doesn't seem to get better. And when something looks bad, you feel bad. Even if something looks good, your hand is probably struggling to meet up with your eye's expectations, and actually physically creating something becomes downright exhausting.

[Choosybeggar]

Wow! This was a good place to ask the question! Thanks everyone for chiming in! I hear a lot of the "love it but hate it," which is more or less how I feel about it most of the time. I've discovered a few ways to bypass it, for instance, the less I have to set up beforehand, the more likely I am to do okay. Gesture/figure drawing is the best single activity I can do so far. I don't have to think too hard, that it gets me drawing and improving when I don't want to put myself through a more finished work.

@BitterOath Hey, I saw that video just a couple of days ago! While I don't experience artist's block often, I certainly have before. The inert phases are more lack of drive. I'm just kinda chilling. The thing that guy talks about is very insightful, though.

@keii4ii Thank you very much for your input! I understand every word you said! I've been able to identify some of what's going on inside me, and I have recently sought that professional help you mentioned. I'm already improving on many fronts, and I'm hoping the art will catch up. It's no fun triggering hidden pain with my creativity!

[Vikiro_Hop]

Hah I wasn't expecting to see these responses on tapastic forums which are normally so bright and cheery. Brings about a bit of cynical pride.

Yeah I agree with most people above that the actual drawing process is usually less than enjoyable, but at the same time we become so stressed out when we aren't doing it. The best part about drawing for me is definitely having it finished.

Seriously only started drawing, because I was bored in school. It was the only thing I could do in class without getting in trouble. Hell in my high school they even encouraged doodling during class because they said it helped some people concentrate. I'd rarely draw outside of class and there were people I knew that had just as much "talent" as I had. For some reason people latched on to me and decided I was the artist and I eventually ended drawing things for people.

I decided to come back to drawing because I could study it and in an objective way improve. Where as I was frustrated by the subjective nature of just writing. Along with that I have enjoyed comics for a long time so the idea of merging writing and illustration makes sense.

In the end most art is in some way masochistic and many artists feel the same way with what they do. Comedians being depressed, musicians disliking touring, it can be very common. There are tons of artists that dislike a certain part of the process of their creation but they trudge on because that is all they can do. Expression isn't always painless, but the end result is usually worth it to the creator.

That being said people who enjoy every part of what you do, more power to you!

[monotone_ink]

I can kind of relate to it, in that I find it difficult to draw on the computer (screens hurt my eyes, cramped spacing of the tablet puts me off etc.)
Along with the fact that I have sweaty hands just adds on to it.
Lately, I've been trying to make drawing and writing feel more 'fun'. I'm going back to drawing the majority of things traditionally and just doing what seems comfortable.

[sadlittlespook]

I kind of feel the same way?? Like, its not constant but there's times where I'll get into these bad slumps where I cannot, for the life of me, find the desire to want to draw anything. Yet at the same time I feel as though if I don't, then I'm wasting something?? I don't know what it is I would be wasting but it just feels like it.

Though often times the feeling passes for me or I just preoccupy my mind with something else until I get a huge surge of inspiration. (Nine times out of ten its always music that does it for me)

I think of of the big reasons for this for me is the fact that I compare myself too much to other artists out there. Because then in the back of my mind I know that there are people who make better content and me being me, always makes it seem like I'm just cluttering up the place with my art that is on a (as I see it) lower skill level that no one would like. Which in turn kinda makes me dread making anything because if its not good, then its not worth the effort to put into.

I'm at least lucky enough to have these as ruts and whatnot though. But I figured I might as well share my experience with it.

[riverfur]

Honestly??? I actually REALLY REALLY love the physical act of traditional drawing, and by that I mean putting lines on paper. I find it relaxing and therapeutic.
However, I often find digital drawing tiring. I had a period where I really liked it, but now I can't seem to have fun doing it.
In the end, though, I'm always happy that I made something (even if it's not good).

[SpavVy]

I enjoy drawing for myself, but most of the time I HATE drawing for other people... >.>

I also dislike sketching because it's boring I get so anxious to ink it in, I'm always excited to see the final result.
I love inking with pens you dip in ink but I hate coloring traditionally...it sucks
I love coloring digitally but I hate inking digitally...

So for me it's kinda a love-hate relationship I guess?

[jonufele]

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

[Doubtcent]

I love to draw, however I've gotten into a mindset that if I don't do at least SOMETHING artistic every day, I get very anxious and lose my mind.
But if I do make art I lose sleep. What is wrong with me?

[Wolven_Sister]

Honestly??? I actually REALLY REALLY love the physical act of traditional drawing, and by that I mean putting lines on paper. I find it relaxing and therapeutic.However, I often find digital drawing tiring. I had a period where I really liked it, but now I can't seem to have fun doing it. In the end, though, I'm always happy that I made something (even if it's not good).

^Pretty much this all the way lol I still love it and I do feel accomplished and satisfied when I finish a piece, but a lot of times I wish the artwork was "magically finished" haha! But, journey's aren't meant to be easy right?

[andychrist]

It's so nice to see how many other people hate STARTING a page. It's murder. I don't know why I put it off. I'm usually pretty happy once I'm in the zone but the act of sitting down to the blank page is maddening. I paced around the house for an hour yesterday before starting.