Anybody else here who is depressed?

[RyzaCobalion]

True, it does suck if you do try to push yourself too much you too will go insane. But once the wait is over the flow of creativity will come back to you slowly or in full throttle and you'll be creating nonstop.

[jensrichard77]

I’m not sure if creative people get more depressed than others. But from my perspective, it is a state of mind that comes with.

I feel it is a Yin and Yang. Maybe it is like athletes, you can't run all the time without hurting your muscles.
Me, I use my muscle called the brain, and I can't be creative all the time without burning out. And with that comes depression.

I live with this all the time. I know that the sun will shine after the rain. I know I will burn out and I know depression will pass and I will be back in the game.

I just need to focus on the positive side of life. When I’m down I look forward to when it is over and not focus on the pain, if I do that I will only stay longer in the depression.

[mbindhammer]

Me too. On medication at the moment: Sertraline and Mirtazapine. Since then I work on my comic. I have not drawn for 30 years. I know what I am drawing from. From life experiences and from the view of a scientist

[mbindhammer]

How old is your daughter? I have a daughter too. She is born in Shanghai, now 9 years old...

[frgmnt]

I am depressed... all the time honestly, but when it's particularly bad (like recently) my creativity just turns off, and the only activities my brain will kindly allow are crying and passing time with something that requires 0 mental effort. (eg. mindlessly scrolling social media, playing stupid games on my phone, aimless internet browsing)
I have pretty much no friends and my family either doesn't care or is even worse off so I can only count on myself for support and motivating myself, and of course it's super-reliable...
How do people even make vent art??? You don't become a different person, completely unable to do anything art-related, when your mood hits the "I wish I were dead" point???
The only thing I can do is try to make as much art as I can in between depressive episodes, but it's very easy to turn this short downtime into a longer artblock - I stop drawing for two days, I might as well stop it for life.

[NickRowler]

I was diagnosed with Major Depression when I was a 10, so it is sort of something I dealt with most of my life. I have had little luck with medication with some not working or causing really bad side effects.

I never found therapy helpful. I am poor so my selection is limited and most don’t have a good background knowledge to deal with someone like me.

What I mostly do is just keep myself distracted, so I don’t have to think about it. However, I think most of my depression is rooted in being lonely and feeling rejected from society. So I like to write about people finding connections and friends.

[mbindhammer]

I can understand that...I am burnt out, but my creativity in many areas forces me to keep going until the next burnout. Creativity is elixir of life and death at the same time, a vicious circle. Not healthy, but I cannot get out of it. Every day that I do not learn or create anything is lost, I do not know how to relax. Sometimes I feel like invisible, everything breaks away, everyone goes away, a loneliness that only those who have severe depressions can understand

[jensrichard77]

I feel you @mbindhammer I feel you.
I have the diagnose ADD (that's ADHD without the H) meaning that my brain is newer shutting down. I get meds and it helps me to not burn out that much.

Wish you the best.

[mbindhammer]

Same to you. Like I wrote in my comic, episode "No filter". I have lost the ability to see the world through a filter. Everything collapses upon me unfiltered. I have a wife who loves me and a daughter, but I cannot stop the self-destruction. Maybe we should show our art here, which was created during such crises. That would interest me.

[MeltingCORE]

I don't have depression but I do have Schizoaffective which causes depressive episodes. I can empathize with you all because it can be hard. I'm a bit of the opposite where I retreat into my art and writing because I find it comforting. I've had people take advantage of my vulnerable states in the past to use me for various things and it hurts because I always just wanted friends and to share my stuff. That's all.

Luckily nowadays I have a close group of friends who I get to speak with almost every day. And I've been with the same boyo for over ten years. (He's not on here, but I love you, Mike! ) I did most of my suffering it feels like in middle school and high school lol. Back when everyone was catty and immature.

[UrMom]

This is so real * cries in veteran *

Singlehandedly the most terrifying experience in existence.

At least if you have test and social anxiety. Interestingly enough the base Psychologist I was seeing for my board interview never experienced one before because she was a civilian, so during my final board I requested they let her shadow it to see what one was like, and her being there helped me be not freaked out enough to pass. Also it felt like I was taking a hit for the good of furthering someone's education, which also helped in some odd way.

[jensrichard77]

Maybe we should show our art here, which was created during such crises. That would interest me.

Sorry. I do not have that kind of material to share

[kmlangleyauthor]

That’s really cool that they let her shadow you! That definitely would have made me feel better, too (kind of having someone “on your side” the whole time). Thankfully I didn’t have to take too many boards (but the ones I did were hell) but my hubby had a job that he had monthly(?) boards and he got to the point that they don’t even bother him anymore (which just blows my mind LOL). I had more watch standing anxiety that flared up than anything - I was just in weird situations the whole time where I didn’t ever feel like I had enough training for the situations I was in and it was so bad all the time

[gmaximin]

7, they might go to the same school if you were in SH (they made a eurocampus backed by both countries in Yangpu).
As for showing art, mine are really personal, in a sense that emotions are raw, so only me understand them. I adapted panels from one into “waste vs scrap” episode for Effy.

I have lost the ability to see the world through a filter.

I know the feeling... but I didn’t put that on the account of depression, but of the professional environment... but maybe there’s a link.

my brain is newer shutting down

I’m glad meds helped you out. I had some decades ago, and I didn’t like it. So now I force down time on myself (because when I don’t my body does). Traveling is the best, being stuck in a bus/train/plane for hours with nothing to do but listen music looking outside, and no guilt about it... it always brings perspective and quiet things down.

[Esoj]

Depressed one here! Well, not now, I have my meds, they keep me alive and away from self-harm! "Looks intensively to his pills" I hate you so much, st*pid pills...
I think the pills have given to the creative part of my brain a license to take vacations more often than not. I remember that before I was able to make a ton of connections in my stories and came out with good situations for my characters, but now everything tastes bland and generic, I can't (at least in Spanish) have any dialog that feels organic (English is easier for some reason). This is a feeling that is... despair-inducing. I hope I don't have these pills for the rest of my life, I hope they take them away soon, one can dream ;w; I want to be able to writhe like before again.
Hope you are doing great by the way.

[Wocalich]

Thanks, I managed to write a new chapter for one of my stories so that's great. I hope you're doing well as well.

[Esoj]

Can I ask? What is your story about? What kind of stories do you make? I do Sci-fi, at least for tapas, I have other projects in my native language.

[Wocalich]

It's werewolf isekai. Just something simple to get the creative juices flowing before I return to Psetha, my main project.

[mbindhammer]

I do Sci-Fi as well. I am actually a scientist by profession, have done research on artificial intelligence for years.

The mask on the left side of the drawing really exists. It is the face of one of my robots, which I developed and programmed.

[Esoj]

That sounds awesome! I will give a look to your series when I have time (currently occupied with uni stuff)