Are people naturally drawn to toxic characters and relationships?

[Tanako]

Are people naturally drawn to toxic characters and relationships?

I think some people are naturally drawn to toxic relationships. I mean, when the main character has a bit of mean/ rudeness it's presumed attractive in most cases. why is that? not only that, I have tried to gear away from this trope but for some reason, I subconsciously get drawn into it, some kind of mental influence when I read other popular BL comics or even some HET comics.

When I first created my comic, the idea was to make the main character, (at least of the main characters since I have three in total) subtle but for some reason, he fell into the generic trope of mean and aggressive which of course is supposed to make him "attractive". but then again, it is called for since he does have a job he currently does that makes him display such behavior (which hasn't been disclosed yet) this behavior isn't right but then again, since I got a reaction out of my audience, it only makes sense to use it as leverage.

Who wants to make their character a nice guy right? I mean most comics you read, it's often the cantankerous and ill-mannered guys that usually get all the attention and once they find that "thing" they love or cherish their personality changes. But once a character comes off as too nice and takes a lot of mental torment, he is often seen as naive or a browbeat and how many comics do you know out there that has characters with admirable qualities that aren't being taken advantage of?

what's my point you say? well, I just thought it was an interesting fact and since I fall into that category, I'm not too proud of myself but it does make for an interesting story.

What's your intake on it? let me hear it (Only Opinions please don't take it personally!)

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[sarrowsmith10]

Maybe when the guys aren't vanilla it makes them more interesting? Most people like the villain in my series Goblins of Razard. He seems like a pretty toxic individual, bullying his underling, raising the dead.. that sort of thing, but he is easily the most popular character and he is often shipped with the main female protag.

I think people fall into liking and writing the love interest with maybe not so nice characteristics because its down right hard to right a nice guy who is interesting and enduring. Maybe its the lack of conflict between the two lovers that is boring? Although I can think of a few comics where the main love interest isn't a jerk (at least not intentially).. like:

Let's Play

Miss Abbott and the Doctor

Last Traveler | Tapas

Kings Folly | Tapas

I'm also working on a romance comic, where the main romantic guy might be somewhat strange (as the comic progresses) but not toxic or a jerk:

The Chevalier

[vothnthorvaldson]

Aggressiveness or toxicity in romance is VERY off-putting to me, actually it's generally a deal breaker.
But.. bland, always happy, and/or unnaturally sweet/caring characters are not very attractive either.
I do like somewhat conflicted characters, they are more interesting to read (and to write). I think what makes the difference between an attractive and a repulsive character, to me, is how selfish they act; I can have a lot of compassion for very unbalanced characters whose issues lead to bad decisions etc.. if character is actually dealing with said issues for their own good and at least for part, for the good of others. A character with same issues and debatable actions who have no compassion for others will have none from me, making it difficult to follow them in a romance setting.

[Tanako]

I do like somewhat conflicted characters, they are more interesting to read

Yes this is exactly what i strive for and i must say i did nail it with my current comic however, if we step back and look at it, my characters behavior is justified. i understand it could be a cliche troop but it still makes him interesting in some ways. i haven't moved further in the comic enough for my audience to see that but eventually it gets there.

anyways your post makes since. thanks for sharing

[burginlewis]

Well, yes... there's an entire group of people who have a psychological condition that used to be called white knight syndrome and is now called codependency (I prefer the old name, sounds a lot better), and I have no difficulty believing those people love to read about the same people they'd love to go "save" in real life.

[vothnthorvaldson]

My feeling is that you have enough originality in your characters to not have to worry too much about having also some cliches

[Tanako]

@vothnthorvaldson aww thanks hun lol appreciate that.

[Tanako]

knight syndrome and is now called codependency

Holy crap I had no idea it even had a name. now that I think about it I wonder if I have the same thing. don't get me wrong I do have a limit to aggression and I will never tolerate abuse however looking at most of my comics that ran for a long time (excluding the short stories) most of the characters I focused on had some element of aggression. I've also wondered if I find that attractive too myself.

I've never been in an abusive relationship. i have a very strong personality and I am autocratic at best. so the chances of being in a physically abusive relationship are not possible however I believe I have been in a mentally abusive relationship. maybe that's what influences my main thought when creating characters and story. because when you read my comic, you do see elements of that.

[HGohwell]

In a sense, yes. Just look at real life. Everyone wants drama and gossip because it's interesting. I don't think it's about being drawn to toxicity in general, I think it's more that it's where the conflict is. And especially in fiction, you want conflict.

Those villains/toxic characters are often the driving force behind a plot. The "nice guy" character is often passive and bland, which is a sign of bad writing, to be honest. It's also because media has generally shoved down our throats that no matter how bad someone is, enough love can fix them, and that protective and jealous love is a good thing. There is an element of media to blame. The villainous characters who are supposed to be redeemed without doing anything are often objectively more physically attractive, as if we'll look passed their crimes because they're attractive. They also have more room to grow if done properly.

But yeah I think the majority of the time it's because "bad" characters are written to be more interesting than "good" characters because good = bland, possibly due to some shift where any negative trait automatically strips you of your "goodness" and makes you "problematic".

[Samuraiflame]

My favourite characters are almost always (well-written) villains and anti-heroes buuut...

Having a mean/aggressive/prickly personality =/= toxic person like yikes let's slow down there. I'm sure that's not what you meant, but I hate when the word toxic gets thrown around and anyone that isn't a pure butterfly is called problematic or toxic.

People like seeing realistic, relatable and flawed characters. It's just natural because humans aren't built to be perfectly nice. These characters have a lot of room for development, so watching them grow is equally rewarding and can send a positive message (if done right).

There is also a certain amount of intrigue people find in drama and tumultuous relationships, sure. You got tension, betrayal, etc etc. It's one of those things that is entertaining to see in fiction, but obviously horrible irl. At least when it's in a romance or drama, it usually plays to the fantasies of a lot of people, or just makes for some juicy suspense.

Anyways, I think a nice characters can be equally interesting, and healthy relationships should get more rep. Pls and ty.

[arcojawa]

Yep... why are we drawn to toxic people?...................

............ too many reasons.

The concept of "the chase" is one that comes up a lot. We want things that we can't have and the most toxic people frequently make us work to be with them or even just be in their presence.

They tend to be very aggressive at shifting blame and passing off their problems as not a big deal. "The way you acted made me do it", "it's just the way I am, so don't worry about it" -stuff like that. And for whatever reason most people are really bad about buying that obvious bull.

Your trying to be the good or bigger person and you think you can get through to them. Sometimes it's just us trying to be the one who gets along with everyone. Sometime you think if you just say the right things you can get through to them and make them better, in spite of the fact that that has worked for like %5 of people.

They tend to be exciting. Toxic people are, frequently, possessing traits that our society generally obsesses over. Extreme extroversion, assertiveness, confidence, and we don't seem to realize none of these qualities are either good or bad and none of them justify the toxic personality.

If you grew up around toxicity you tend to be more vulnerable to it. Even if the toxicity wasn't terrible like, you had a slightly over-dismissive and aggressive parent who wasn't that bad? You'll be more likely to accept toxicity, even if it's far worse then what you were exposed to.

Because of how common it is for people to excuse and even fall for toxicity I've decided to make it a big part of my comic's story to show characters who take the more sensible actions when dealing with toxic characters. Honestly, I think another big issue is a lot of our media loves the traits frequently possessed by toxic people. We're kind of trained to love them, so I think more writers should be teaching people to react sensibly in regards to these kinds of people.

[liann]

not a romcom character but bakugo is probably the best example for me. I hated him so much during the first season because he was SUCH an asshole. But now, with all the character development, he's probably my favourite character. Personally, I think I only get drawn to them when they actually undergo good development. Not just "here's some tragic backstory. now he's an annoying asshole." which is so common in romance stories. It's just... not fun for me. especially when paired with a plain girl or quirky relatable mc.

[yansusu]

My #1 reason for dropping stories? Yeah, it's toxic characters and relationships. Nothing has me flinging a book or comic into the corner as fast as an ML without manners, that's possibly abusive (whether verbally or physically). It might even make me never pick up a story by the same creator again if I found it bad enough.

[DiegoPalacios]

When it comes to stories, people are drawn to INTERESTING characters, toxic or not.

The thing is that conflicted people make it easier for storytelling because they have a greater chance of taking an active part on said conflict.

Also agressive people seem to be more proactive, which helps to drive the story somewhere.

It all depends on how the character is written.

A kind and healthy person can be entertaining and attractive if you give them relatable flaws an interesting personality and conflicts. As long as they feel "real" you can get readers invested in them.

[Sosofellow]

In a technical/psychological sense, yes. This has not changed since the dawn of recorded history. You can look back as far as Shakespeare and even further if you want to see ancient Hindi or Greco-Roman stuff. I don't know many people interested in things like, say, the War of the Roses for the actual war aspect, the interest is in the relationship between the incredibly messed up family tree.

From a more targeted storytelling sense, also yes b/c conflict is at the center of virtually every compelling story ever told and that's something we're all drawn to.

Also as just stated above while I was writing this, imperfect characters are also an enormous draw.

(So in broad terms yes, though in romances this is quite unfortunate)

[TAMAnnoying]

Yes. Unfortunately I think it’s just a kink people have and sometimes it bleeds over into the real world instead of staying in the bedroom. Sometimes I think people just don’t comprehend that people might want the abusive prison warden in bed but not as a boyfriend. I have a lot of friends who not only enjoy this idea in the romances they watch but also in the men they fancy. Even when they know it’s against their better judgement. One friend very much enjoys the concept of a man that is willing to murder her, so long as it’s done in a very vampire/lawful evil way that’s super sexy.

Kinks are weird. And some people just wanna stick their dick in crazy even tho they know better 8) and no mater how many times you tell them to stop plz.

Also I agree with most people that the more complicated villains tend to be more intresting then the one dimensional good boys. Honestly I just think this means people should strive to make their good boys less one dimensional.

[DokiDokiTsuna]

and how many comics do you know out there that has characters with admirable qualities that aren't being taken advantage of?

Um...I think that's just because it's the nature of stories to revolve around conflict, change, and tension. Something has to go wrong; something has to happen. And if you just have Mr. Nice Guy going around doing nice things AND having only nice things happen to him in return, then that's not much of a story. =/

When you have a disagreeable/toxic character, then bing-bang-boom you already have a source of tension and conflict, and something to change. For some writers, it might even be a crutch, because it instantly provides at least one direction for your story to go in: 'how to soften the heart of Mr. Grouch.' Which would explain why those characters often get all the attention.

In conclusion, I would say I don't know if people are naturally drawn to toxic characters and relationships as much as they are just naturally drawn to hearing and telling stories about them. I mean, everyone gossips about the people who are probably doing bad stuff, right? That's the kind of stuff that's fun to hear about, due to schadenfreude or morbid curiosity or whatever. Doesn't necessarily mean that you want to spend your life around those kinds of people.

[Tanako]

@DokiDokiTsuna thats an interesting point of view. awesome!

[silacinnamon]

I don't really like stories with toxic relationships, I'm more drawn towards romances where both characters are very loving and the conflict comes from outside elements, like they can't be together for some reason, or they have to pretend they don't like eachother. Yeah these are clichés, but I still like them if they're well written! I also like it when one (or both) characters are clueless and they don't realize they're in love. And I love male characters who have that attractive "bad boy" look/mood, but they have a soft spot for their crush/SO and are actually really caring

But I do like bad characters outside of the romantic area, because they can be very interesting! One thing I really wanna write someday is a couple of villains who are bad to other people, but have a very respectful and healthy relationship with eachother...

[ViktorGrim]

I certainly hope so! The novel I'm going to put up on here (after a few more buffer chapters and I cobble together a decent cover) is almost entirely fueled by a toxic relationship. Sociopath metahuman thug finds the one person he falls for, who decides to prompt and push our MC into being a superhero for "reasons". Well, there's a LOT more to it than that (Superpunk grimdark themes hiding in a noblebright BNHA/Marvel/DC styled world), but the romance between the two is essentially the main plot of book one and remains a secondary main plot for the rest of the series..

Also, this post is really just a "dot" for me to follow, come back, and post my thoughts on toxic characters and relationships after I wake up. Preview: The concepts of "fixing someone," and needing to feel like that "special one" are, I feel, at the core of a lot of this.