Are people naturally drawn to toxic characters and relationships?

[vothnthorvaldson]

I'm more drawn towards romances where both characters are very loving and the conflict comes from outside elements, like they can't be together for some reason, or they have to pretend they don't like eachother. Yeah these are clichés, but I still like them if they're well written!

Same, and like you, I don't mind, in that case, if it is a bit cliche. I think there are enough different outside conflict reasons to keep the trope "lovers against the world (or variants)" viable.
Actually, I find that very interesting, I'd like to ask what others like as source of conflict in romance, but that's off topic, so I'll start a new topic in a little while

[SuperRazz]

Based on your description alone, your character doesn't seem toxic to me. just flawed. Personally I am not drawn to toxic characters like ones that'll leave you emotionally scarred for life after having a relationship with them. But I do enjoy reading about flawed characters and relationships with internal conflicts rather than external. Characters are more realistic if they're flawed because real people are flawed . they're the sum of their own strengths and weaknesses.

I get why the "bad boy" persona is more popular with women than the "nice guy". "bad boys" are less easily exploited and they can be vicious when necessary like when they have to protect the ones they love or when they have to stand up for themselves. Someone who is too agreeable or too 'nice' will not be able to do that.

[TAMAnnoying]

The concepts of "fixing someone," and needing to feel like that "special one" are, I feel, at the core of a lot of this.

I think this is the biggest thing for a lot of people! And it’s something that even I enjoy form time to time if the writing is good! My problem with it when it tries to be mirrored in the real world x3 like no honey you can’t train him to do the laundry like a responsible adult if he can just trick you into doing it eventually cause you need clean cloths and he doesn't.

[CodeMonkeyArts]

Though, thankfully, I am NOT in a toxic relationship, but I am fascinated with reading them in fantasy, or superhero stories. The further from reality the story, the more I like it (which is why I avoid romcom and toxic relationships in traditional romance stuff annoys the EFF out of me). For some reason, the broken romances in tragedy, or the absolutely batshit insane romances between villains really delight me. I can't explain why...I guess cause it is fascinating...like a train wreck.

[Inspector_Spinda]

Well in my comic, the main character is pretty shady. He's a vampire, but even without that he has some morally grey values and behaviors. But that's just the environment he was bought up in. He's not intentionally abusive and is a pretty sweet dude generally. I say intentionally cause he's also an alcoholic so that leads to some neglect moments. I guess you can say he's a nice guy but with many big flaws.

I think people are attracted to rude characters in fiction because a lot of the time the character is funny or they say things the read wishes they could. Most of the time he's a harmlessly rude character. I don't think most of those people would be attracted to a truly abusive character and definitely not a person. There are people who are attracted to toxic people in real life but it is usually due to toxic early family life or maybe the toxic person manipulated/groomed them.

In fiction, people like reading about character with deep flaws and not just people who are just always nice. When done right it's good drama, but sometimes it can be overdone and go too fair without people totally realizing.

[OttoGruenwald]

Drama has always been an easy sell. Personally I'm not a fan of soap opera. Functional characters interest me more than dysfunctional ones. Functional characters can change and grow based on what they face. Dysfunctional characters always fall into their vices.

[monotone_ink]

Like @DiegoPalacios mentioned, people seem to be drawn to the proactive nature of aggressive characters--these kinds of personalities more often than not drive the story forward at a strong pace.

Additionally--usually when it comes to male characters--the presence of aggression also suggests their capability to protect and stand up for themselves.

It's very easy to write 'nice guy' characters as push overs that bear no threat to anyone. If you want to make a vanilla character a bit more interesting, give them the capability to be dangerous. They can still be kind, however that lingering potential adds some semblance of tension.

Let's look at an ancient example that literally everyone in the western world knows--Jesus

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Jesus is usually depicted as a really kind and wise guy that helps everyone around him. However, many forget that he's also capable of being completely savage.

While he does a lot of good things for people, he's ultimately a man of conviction--he repeatedly publically calls out the governing figures of Jerusalem for their bullshit, riles up followers in the name of what he believes is good, and as depicted above, flips and destroys a market-area set up inside a sacred place of worship.

He even suggests that (rephrased) "if you dare to even hurt a child, you're better off jumping off a cliff and killing yourself."

---

Religious or not, I believe this duality is what makes him such an endearing figure to a lot of people. You don't necessarily have to go down this route if you want to write a nice guy, but keep it in consideration.

[hannahlaine]

Maybe when the guys aren't vanilla it makes them more interesting?

I think this has a big part to play in it. While "Vanilla" guys are great in the real world, they kind of make books and comics boring...
I feel like that is why we are more drawn to it.

[ISNEKO]

I think people who enjoy romance demand some sort of conflict between characters of interest. Because, isn't one of the points of romance stories to get characters together?

I have a friend who enjoys these stories and constantly says stuff like, "I hate him but I wish he'd get it together and love her!"

Personally, I don't care if characters have significant others unless they have interesting moments that show their genuine love for each other.

[Jenny-Toons]

I agree with people saying there's an attraction to interesting characters rather than "toxic". These are just characters who are flawed but virtuous at the same time -- they're not complete assholes, but they're not completely nice either. They're human.

Honestly, I find characters who are completely toxic (just see any shoujo manga with an asshole male lead) to be tiring and boring. Like, you've already shown me this guy's an asshole but she still loves him. There's no conviction because I know, in the end, despite her saying she hates him, she'll still get with him.

Take MDV for example -- neither of my characters were really "toxic". They had flaws and stuff, but Adonis and Sandra didn't really treat each other unfairly to the point where you're questioning why they're paired up together. The drama laid more outside rather than inside the relationship, and although it was short, people still enjoyed the story. They were interesting as people, and that's what draws people in.

I know for me, I like reading about characters who have a touch of grey to them. Not entirely evil, but not entirely good. Or hell -- maybe they ARE an asshole, but it's done in a way that's interesting rather than needing me to endure their antics.

I think gangster movies sell this well (especially the first two Godfather movies).

[Kiweevil]

I see a lot of characters nowadays where their toxicity is literally the entirety of their personality. That to me is a lot less interesting than a vanilla romance or any sort of normal relationship chemistry for that matter (friends, parent/child, etc.). I find it really cringey when people make a character where the only noteworthy thing about them is that they've been horribly abused or they're the ones horribly abusing. And then they leave it at that with no further development. I can't feel sad for a troubled character if they're just a shell and nothing more, then I have nothing to empathize with. Abuse is not a personality trait.

[CodeMonkeyArts]

I agree. Though my characters are in a very broken romance, they each have their personalities shown first. My MC is a confident, passionate, deadpan snarker woman who has a bit of a childlike awkwardness to her (complete with the impulsiveness and tantrum throwing). Her love interest (and honestly, second MC) is witty, flirtatious, laidback, and empathetic person who loves backing, but also is an intense romantic with an idealized idea of love. I spend a lot of time with them in a 'normal' relationship first, before the not normal circumstances around them screw them up and set up a downfall.

I like effed up toxic romances. I really really do. However, I don't like when there is nothing likable about the characters. I really want hope that my readers can see WHY the two characters are attracted to each other and maybe, just maybe, could make something work. If only the insanity of their world didn't screw them up so bad.

I hope I succeed

[erudenedure]

I feel like there's a lot that plays into this. When I talk about this, I'm going to talk about the romance genre as a whole, not just comics. (And, as always, this is my perception.)

1.) We have centuries of media that's highlighted toxic behavior as romantic. When I finally addressed the fact my ex was abusive, I started to see where a lot of my misconception of love was rooted in romance-centric media. (Especially anime, with the super moody characters who demean their love interests. Ugh.) Partners who were so jealous, they didn't want you to be around exes; dogged pursuit of a love interest, even after rejection; aggression during fights; sexual touches that weren't consented to; unhealthy power dynamics; straight up lying; "I'll die without you, so don't leave me!"

In the end, all the audience sees are these actions being rewarded with a happy ending.

2.) In a lot of mainstream media - books, movies, TV shows, etc - they bank on using reliable tropes, because taking risks means losing money. A lot of romance revolves around some form of toxic behavior: intense jealousy, possessiveness, abduction, control, and so forth. And the way it's displayed is often meant to be positive, so the audience is more prone to internalizing and even romanticizing these behaviors.

3.) Sometimes, writers are lazy. A set of love interests that are toxic toward each other creates their own drama and conflict. You don't necessarily have to write in conflict, if two people who hate each other have to come to terms with falling in love. Writers need to get paid, too, and they get paid more if they churn out more stories.

There's a lot more media with healthy depictions of relationships cropping up. (Or maybe I just had the misfortune to be inundated with toxic stories, growing up.) It's just being criticized loudly - thanks to the Internet, I feel - and we're seeing how bad these things are.

However, the toxic stuff isn't going away. Passengers, a movie starring Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence - is a great example of something really effed up being dressed up as romantic in recent media.

In the end, we need to support media that features healthy relationships and we need to criticize toxic relationships being romanticized and upheld as a norm.

[KidJake]

In Rabble! (Not a Romance comic, but more in the Superhero genre) I tried to lean into this with the character of McCrow. He's mean and vicious (and occasionally funny) but there's no doubt that his aggression is a bad thing. He's unpleasant and self destructive and when we eventually get to his personal relationships it's absolutely no mystery why he ended up alone and homeless in his darkest hour. His closest 'friends' dread getting a call from him, his family hates him and within 10 pages his lack of self control results in him punching a kid in the face and getting his own dumb ass shot square in the chest for trying to pick a second fight, in the middle of the first fight.

His personal plot is intended to revolve around an old man looking back on a lifetime of misery and realizing that in the end it's all been his own damned fault.

[FenneFox]

I mean, personally, I don't exactly read/watch that much in regards to romance, so I can't exactly say all too much on regards to relationships. However, as for characters, I think sometimes it can be pretty fun to see the worst of us and how other characters interact with them.

[kimketli]

I think I can not tell new things about this topic what were not mentioned before me.
So I'll stick just an experience I found interesting:
I also found these stories interesting but in real life similar situation can disgust me as hell. Why? Because in most cases these "bad boys"(Sorry, I'm sure there must be bad girl cases as well, but my experiences about only guys) are typically not those who have complicated family background, or dead loved ones, these "bad boys" I known were spoiled brats who got everything from their parents(like loads of animals they didn't have to care for, or bar they can boss of) and because of that "care" they couldn't comprehend "no" as an answer for anything.
The sad thing in these stories these boys' girlfriends identified these boys as the romance stories' male protagonist who just need love and they'll change... What is funny because in my honest opinion these are the people who mostly need some discipline.

So I won't say bad guys becomes good for their loved ones are bad generally. I say people tend to identify these charatertype very badly in real life. :DD

[Mari]

When it comes to fiction, yes absolutely. People want to imagine something exciting and fresh when it comes to romance books and the like, even if they would rather never have a relationship like that IRL. It's fantasy. I always personally gravitate towards the toxic/abusive angsty emo-romances even though I could or want to never deal with that IRL.

If you mean in their actual real life romances, perhaps. Depends on the person.

[unknown_user]

I enjoy reading about toxic characters and relationships, when their nature is adequately and thoughtfully investigated. Particularly, if it's psychologically correct, if individuality of characters is consistent and revealed through these relationships, when their feelings are shown honestly by the author, without sugar-coating. And when there is an adequate explanation about the reasons, which lead them to this behavior.

But I hate reading about toxic characters and relationships, when they are written as a part of cheap romance plot line, without any research, revealing etc. Especially if they are inconsistent with characters images and behavior in other situations. Unfortunately, in "cheap" romances, they are often represented as a kind of norm, which automatically exclude any research and explanations. Which makes me questioning, does the author themselves understand what they are writing about?

[unknown_user]

And yes, I think that many people are drawn to it naturally. Especially people with bad self-esteem and psychological problems.
Probably, I myself feel interest to them for this reasons, too.

The other thing is - smart people may read about it, but stop going into this shit in real life, when they start to understand the nature of toxic relationships.

[Zyephen]

I just think people are naturally drawn to flawed characters. Flaws make characters feel more real and can even help people connect with characters. I actually find my own characters are often abrasive, cruel, or angry in their relationships with other characters, but that's why the story is interesting. Noone likes vanilla, plain Jane characters. Characters are interesting because they're damaged and sometimes incapable of expressing their feelings the way they should. A toxic relationship in a story shouldn't necessarily be a negative aspect of the story. It should be an obstacle that the characters must overcome. That is a testament to good writing imho.