Attractive/anoying male character

[uhokhjol]

I strated drawing male characters not so long ago, and one of my comic main characters is also male. I'm interested in making my male protagonist realistic and not soppy, not as incarnation of perfect characters of romantic novels. So guys, I need your help! Which traits of male characters do you find the most attractive/annoying? How normal realistic protagonist should look like?

[BurntSushi]

A smile and raised eyebrows is a pretty good way to make a character attractive, even if they're a dick
example:

[BurntSushi]

There's also this look He looks at you and you think "Dammit Sugarplum, I'll give you a hug", even if a few pages back he just did something quite upsetting to the protagonist

[digitalvalium1]

I think what's needed is to take a step back. What kind of heroine are you writing? Who is she? The answer to that question will determine the type and traits of your main male.

As general rules that apply to real life, people look for a flattering mirror. What that means is someone who both mirrors their own best qualities, and brings out in them their best self. If you've ever heard anyone say, "I like who I am when I'm with you," this is what they were talking about.

People also tend to match to social status, so if you're writing a Cinderella, it may be popular but it won't reflect life in any real way and you'll have to pour on the romance by the tonne just to keep their disbelief suspended.

The only two physical requirements that one should be aware of is that they must be taller than their match, and that they must exude a sense of agency in their own life. Power and control is sexy because it's easy to tap into people's fears to prime them for a feeling of relief later on that gets mistaken for love. In my opinion this is an excellent way to introduce a false flame.

As for traits, there's an old writer's trick that you may find useful. A character's main strength is usually their downfall. This has been used in both tragedy and comedy and will feel like an old friend to readers. So, the most salient personality trait about your hero can also be used against him as his weakness, and vice versa.

I think it might be helpful for you to take some time to discover what love means to you and puzzle out what it is you want to depict. This can be something as simple as "He smiles when he sees the real me," or something complex like, "He pushes me in all the right ways, to make me the best person I can be," or just, "He heals me." This will usually be determined by the personality of the main heroine.

As for looks, my advice would be to not make him too attractive. Painfully attractively people are generally well liked but are often thought of as untrustworthy. If he does have classic looks, you'd best make him clumsy or unbearably nervous to humanize him. Clumsy is always a good, "He's so pretty but I feel so sorry for him," gambit that almost always furthers emotional attachment to the character while getting a laugh out of your audience. People are, in general, wide open to enjoying the pangs pratfalls of others and laughs are the most reliable way to get your audience to interact with the characters.

[uhokhjol]

@BurntSushi haha, oh yeah, rised eyebrows really make them more... lovable? I'll use this, thank you! xD
@digitalvalium1 thank you for your answer, it was thought-provoking. Totally agree with the statement about mirroring the best people's qualities, but option with clumsy but adorable character attracts me more. It's the best way to make audience coo and melt (I'm judging by myself now)

[Wumbl]

A character is attractive in their body language I think. A suave and confident character gives off an attractive feel. The way they talk also portrays this!

[J.Z.Castillo]

I think I will counter with a question. What do you want him to be like? If he's shy and withdrawn he's not going to be all smiles and jokes, you know? What is he like?

[Mari]

I disagree with with @digitalvalium1 about that you should keep the protagonists Love Interest in mind when writing him -- This kind of thinking leads to characters being too alike. The main point shouldn't be the person they end up with, it should be establishing them both as decent characters. I also disagree with 'good' flaws, like clumsy etc. If you've read any type of harlequin novels/ mediocore shoujo manga, you'll notice both of those use the 'attractive' flaws, making the heroine a little clumsy or a little forgetful etc, something that can still be considered as cutesy.
Both also take use of making the male character either hot-tempered/violent or secretive/mysterious, which falls into the 'attractive' flaws category as well. It's very tropey, and from your post it seems like you don't want your story to be tropey. Make your characters mean-spirited, or make them have a shitty sense of humour that makes people cringe or something. Just something else than "Oh she daintily falls over sometimes so cute d'awww".
Writing characters while trying to avoid these kind of tropes can be really dificult, but it also makes for a better story, since flaws in character offer progression in the individual story arc of the character.
An example of this can be found in Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice, where the two main character's flaws are the book's name. Both start as relatively shitty people, but still sympathetic, and develop over the course of the story (more so Elizabeth, since she is the protag) into less shitty people, while still maintaining their flaws.
The male lead gets rid of his pride in the stupid things, like social interactions, and keeps it in the sensible things, like pride for ones family etc. Stories where the characters can't progress individually usually come across as boring, unless the story is alike something to the old man and the sea, and even that book usually divides people. Some think it's shit, some think it's a masterpiece.

What makes a character attractive is more dependant on how it's written than individual traits. People love characters they can hate, but a character they can hate first and learn to love later are usually the ones that stay. Harry Potter had some examples of these with Snape(although I disagree with it, he was an asshole and wanting to bang Harry's mom did not redeem him for me), who was not described as traditionally attractive, but people still found him that way through his character arc.

[digitalvalium1]

I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone wants a Mr. Collins and Elizabeth type of character arc. The mean-spirited hero is bad for the genre, and bad for society. Stories are cultural artifacts that people use to understand the world. I won't have my work used to justify assault. The beast remains a beast. Don't mischaracterize what I've said.

Darcy and Elizabeth work together because they each serve one another's immediate and long term emotional needs. They are the flattering mirror, though they are not the same.

[kyupol]

Characters that grow as the story progresses... Both for male and female.

[Mari]

*Mr. Darcy. Collins is the goofy cousin.

Mean-spirited hero is not bad for the genre. Writing the same characters into every story is bad for the genre. And Elizabeth evolves through the story not to be a judgemental bitch, which you'd know if you had actually read the book. Not to mention my main point was never the comparison to P&P (I had examples with Harry Potter & the old man and the sea as well), my point was that to create relatable characters you need to develop them on their own, not write them to be part of a love story.

[digitalvalium1]

Chapter 19. Collins proposes to Elizabeth. He's refused, but won't take no for an answer. He becomes belligerent and uses his social connections to force his presence onto Elizabeth. I think it's chapter 19. This is the type of arc I was referring to. And yes, I think this type of character is bad for the genre. I think we agree on this.

We're talking about romance as a genre, not fiction in general. Contrasts to Harry Potter or The Old Man and the Sea are inappropriate and muddy the discussion.

I never said, nor implied character development was not necessary. I merely stated how people work in real life, which I have evidence of in meta-analysis of several studies reprinted in several editions of several different textbooks by several different publishers. You're welcome to a bibliography.

What I did say was a beast is always a beast, which is true. I've read dozens of case studies of real people who expected their abuser to change just because they loved them, or thought they did. It's irresponsible to portray a dangerous situation as romantic or a facet of love. This has real consequences for real people. Power and control are not love, are not a part of love, and never can be.

What you did was attacked my position, associated me with harlequin romances bad shoujo manga that use often violent male characters (which is your own proposal here, mind you) and then proceeded to pick that strawman apart before you offered your own solution.

The strawman is a logic fallacy. It's one of the ways people attack a better position. I'm explaining this for the benefit of others, not to embarrass you. So, either have a different opinion and support it with your own evidence, or... don't. I don't care. Just don't use a logic fallacy to support your argument.

As a matter of fact, we agree on several points. Those being that 1) main characters in romances do need to develop. Thank you for making that clear. And 2) parties to the main relationship should fit together and help each other grow, which, if you read my original post, I state fairly plainly.

Where we disagree is that I don't think being a shitty person at the start of a book is necessary, or warranted, or appropriate. If one looks, both Darcy and Elizabeth, judged against their peers are not shitty people. They just have parts of their personality that keeps them from pursuing or attaining their goals. Elizabeth admires Darcy's pride. She just hates that she receives the butt of it. Darcy in turn admires her wit and attitude (pride). They share the same trait.

Let me relate that again. They share the same trait.

No one but Darcy could engender the kind of love Elizabeth has for him and vice versa. They work because they are so similar as to be the same, and make each other better versions of themselves.

I won't underline that statement, and will consider this matter closed.

I do agree the cutesy pratfalls can be straining. I hated Sailor Moon.

[Mari]

I said I disagreed with you on your point about using attractive flaws, which is literally what 'trashy' shoujo manga & romance novels use (ditzy,clumsy etc)on every protagonist. I also included having a character be hot-tempered/violent in those 'attractive' flaws, that are bad for the genre. Also in my comparison to P&P I only mentioned the main characters, so bringing up Collins makes no sense. He doesn't evolve into anything and continues to be a sleazeball, my example was of progression through a character arc, which both the main characters show. Also YOU are the one talking about romance as a genre, my comments were specifically about character building, because that is what the OP was asking, which is why I referenced different novels. Rest of your comment is just a lengthy explanation why you were offended when you really had no reason to, I never said you specifically wrote 'trashy' shoujo, but if you found yourself while reading my post, I guess you're welcome for the realization?

[JKNNKL]

traits i find attractive:
- when guys have a specific niche skill theyre passionate about (programming, insects, skateboarding etc)
- slightly nerdy guys <333333
- rolled up sleeves AKKDJSKSLSND
- guys that are reliable and mentally and emotionally stable (ie marryable guyss AHHHHH)
- guys who dont take themselves too seriously
- guys who arent usually romantic but will ocassionally do out of character romantic things in a joke way but its still sweet n u laugh abt it together AWWW
- guys who act legit and suave and cold but are actually noob (like HAN JU MIN yeS)

annoying traits:
- guys who are too loud and make a lot of noise on public transport
- guys who try to debate too much and write long paragraphs arguing about unimportant stuff just to prove their intelligence/win the argument (like r/iamverysmart, my fave subreddit ^^)
- guys who are too philosophical/poetic (u know the kind that whete u ask them "yo wat u eat for lunch" then tehy reply "lunch is a social construct and we all will die one day" WOW THANKS
- Guys who say cringy things

^^ my input

[uhokhjol]

wow you actually described my type of guys xDD (rolled up sleeves yeaah)
thank you for your answer <3

[NickRowler]

OK, this is what I find attractive...
-I also agree with rolled up sleeves
-A little dorky (not necessarily "super smart" but a little awkward)
-When a guy tries to be romantic but he's really bad and awkward about it
-Some body hair (especially on the arms and under the belly button)
-Docile and gentle
-Not afraid to be feminine
-Funny

What I find annoying
-Screaming/yelling/talking way too loud
-Immaturity
-Being way too obsessed with something (be it a person, fandom, or country *Japan * cough. And they don't realize that their obsession is either A) Unhealthy and/or B) Not everyone is going to be into it)
-Guys who get aggressive because they have a huge ego and hate when people "challenge" them
-Guys who fall "in love" with women simply because they are women and don't care about her personality, hobbies, or life but then he throws a tantrum when she rejects him.