Seems off to a good start, for what it's worth from an amateur. A couple things I noticed:
"drumming and chanting audibly"
Audibly implies a sound that's discernible, that can be heard, but maybe not very loud. Seemed like the not the right word for a boisterous crowd roaring in united anthems and drumming and chanting.
Paragraph 1, "the sun hangs high" but just moments later it seems to be "slowly dimming light of the cantaloupe sun that set over the horizon of buildings". Or is there more than one sun here? Or is it a deliberately inconsistent artifact of the imaginings of the main character. It appeared to be an break in continuity.