I'm not sure if that's super it, either? But characters like Ozen from Made in Abyss, or Bernkastel, etc.
And yeah, a lot of them do hit others, but I think it depends on how it's done. I imagine a lot of that is a bit exaggerated and it's more like a gentle pat with a show or a little bop, and not actually abuse. Yandere on the other hand...
But yeah, I don't know, somehow it seems that in the anime world, you get hot points for being as stimulating as any girl's bedroom wall. I know they're made that way so guys can envision themselves as the character, but are there really any guys out there who relate to that? This is a 100% real and not rhetoric question.