Come get your reviews!

[inbox_anime]

Yes it is, currently working on d next chapter, so all reviews are appreciated..

[diestreve319]

Hi! Please review Searching For Kazehaya. It is a fancomic/doujinshi of Kimi ni Todoke. I collaborated with Rei-chan, the artist/illustrator. I'm the writer of the story/fan fiction. Together, we are Dream Studios. Thank you for your time.

Searching For Kazehaya | Tapas

[Daknight]

Here is the review!

-Art-

I like the character design, gives me feeling of various influences going on (Dragon Ball, Yu-yu hakusho and Hunter x Hunter). I would say your lines art could be a bit more smooth as in parts it looks a bit rough, and in some it overlaps in certain parts. I do like the variety of thickness use giving it a nice look.

Try to incorporate more variety of poses, for now all I see mostly is full frontal, full side ways and 3/4 views. Since this will likely be a fighting/action style comic poses during battles are important and variety is what makes them interesting!

I like the black and white aspect, though I suggest adding a bit more greyscale in parts. This will help with backgrounds later on (to differentiate and created different levels of shadows).

Great use of speed lines, I could really feel the movement aspect when he was running threw the jungle. I would try to make punch impact more noticeable, make the body that is receiving the punch have more impact look (speedlines around the layout) to sell the impact more.

Overall I do like your art and I can see you'll improve in no time!

-Writting-

Is a bit weird when you don't use the ' in abbreviated words. You should really try using ' in words like its (it's), im (I'm) didnt (didn't). Those little details are very important in text as people will point it out at one point or another. Also use commas and end sentences, for example this one:

I dont know its just something about that guy hikaru Im not sure I can beat him

It should read:

I don't know. It's just something about that guy Hikaru. I'm not sure I can beat him.

Outside of this thing (Which is more grammar stuff mostly) I like the ammount of text, things get straight to the point without repetition and I do like the use of 'sound effects' overall.

-Paneling-

I like the amount of space between panels, expect in the last chapter where there is barely any. That one is a more calm moment where he is in his room and they are talking, spacing them out a bit more gives a good feeling of relax non combat feel. Outside of that I like you use different kind of panels and sizes.

-Story-

I got to admit I got a bit confuse when his 'shadow' appear out of the blue for no apparent reason. If he had maybe receive say a hit and we see a bit of shadow escape from the hit and then after the fight his shadow figure might make more sense. Outside of this I the story hasn't progress much so is a bit hard to give it a fair review, but I am liking the foreshadowing (on his shadow self, etc, etc) and of course the clearly indication of more fighting!

I hope this helps you out and you are able to continue improving!

[Daknight]

Oh wow, I actually read your comic on webtoons (and subscribed there) xP Ok, here is my review!!

-Art-

I love the use of color and gives a clear feeling of the season (spring). I like that in the first few panels you establish her room, the town and school wish I am sure will be center pieces overall to the story. The outline is perfect by not going fully black outline but using the color of the clothing (though a darker shade of course). It really works with romance type stories!

The amount of backgrounds you have is amazing, I think I rarely see any panel without background which is great, gives a lot of life to the world they are in.

Great shadows too, I do believe softer shadow like the one you are using do fit love stories more compare to hard shadows use. Great lighting too, love that it changes depending on the scene and location giving a good impression that she is moving around (and everything around her for that matter).

-Writing-

Is actually what had me hook to start, her self monologue explaining her views of the world and what she loves, the variety of fonts depending on the mood she is (as well as using the text box colo for mood too). Dialogue is easy to follow and understand, great use of font.

Love the effects too, using different fonts there too depending on the 'sound' is great.

-Paneling-

I love that you make great use of the webcomic format as your comic clearly is a vertical style one. I do feel some panels lack border in parts (they have borders in some areas, but lack one to the right or left most of the time. I think closing them completely would make them look better, of course some don't need them (the long ones for example).

Overall great use of webcomic format and love the long scrolling panel,

-Story-

Great intro as it gives most of the details we need to be able to follow the rest of the story. Also great use of the art telling us part of the story without the need for text such as lack of friends, people in her online group losing interest in the manga she still clearly loves. I can feel her loneliness and she just wanting to have a friend to talk to.

I haven't read the comic this is based on, but I do hope things don't necessary happen the same as in that one. I do love the inspiration and it making most of her life about it, but I do hope future events in her actual life story are different from the mange she loves. I think it would be interesting seeing the events she dreams about (the manga) actually be different in real life (maybe similar start, but different when they end).

Hope this helps, you have a really good hook in the start, great art and great writing

[diestreve319]

Hi, Darknight!
Thank you so much for your positive review. It truly inspires and helps me and my collaborator to continue with our episodes of Searching For Kazehaya. I'm so happy to know that you enjoyed the art and story of Searching For Kazehaya. It means a lot to me and to my collaborator. Again, thank you so much!
^_^

[yondoloki]

I would like a review of my comic The Changeling's Sister

The Changeling's Sister | Tapas

[GalacticPotato]

Hey, it would be pretty awesome of you could review my comic, i've had some reviews before and they mostly mention the backgrounds need some work, but i'd like a better point of reference on what to improve, and you reviews are really well done.
Here's the thing:

Trip across the Multiverse | Tapas

It's really short, only 34 pages so far, but take your time.

[sfkdreamstudios]

Rei: Hi there! I'm the artist for Searching For Kazehaya, and thank you so much for your thorough review! We're glad you like what you see so far!
If you don't mind, what did you mean by "The outline is perfect by not going fully black outline but using the color of the clothing (though a darker shade of course)"? Did you mean the speech bubbles, or the line art? I use black for the lineart, but it does appear gray/lighter in color due to the lighting layers I use afterwards. Thanks for following us on Webtoons! It's so awesome to see someone from there! <3

[Daknight]

Here is the review!

-Art-

I see you made huge improvement from how it started! Thicker lines, better expression and overall improvement. I do like that you kept the coloring style and just improve on it. It gives you story a nice touch giving the horror/drama feeling to it which works really well!

Your clothing and era feel are on point! I am a sucker for that Victoria age clothing and you nail it! All I can say is to keep the good work as I can tell you are indeed improving each passing chapter!

-Writing-

I am a bit conflicted on this, I think the writing is actually well done, great font, great usage of different bubble colors depending on the scene. Yet the writing is modern style in term of there speech pattern and way of speaking, which might seem weird giving the Victoria age time. I don't mind it, but I think dialogue using the period time might be better suited to give that feeling of this being in that time line. This is more a nitpicking than saying it should cause I do believe the current style is easier for readers in general.

I really like that you make the 'sound effect' have action to if it needs it (the 'fhump' of her falling from the window being the best example).

-Paneling-

I see this is a one page update so it keeps the traditional comic paneling style and is really well done. I am not 100% sure on the black border and reason is that I (and many readers) got use to and associate black border to past events (as in border go black when we are looking at events in the past or a character past). This is more an opinion cause I actually do like the black in this case cause it makes the color stand out and give a heavier feeling to the story. Just another of my observations is all.

-Story-

Way to keep someone engage and interested! Love the start of it, maybe I would had kept the abduction hidden a bit to cause even the readers to question a bit more 'Was she just badly hurt once (the scars part)...is the sister real?' and then when the face part is reveal you do the bit of showing the past with the alien to make the audience go 'OOOOOH'. Those kind of secrets keep one interested and invested. Even then you are doing a great job with the whole mystery of 'why was the sister taken? why is this doll/clone bad? how will she learn about her real sister?'

I for one am interested in finding this answers!

You got a really great comic and I hope to see more of it

[Daknight]

Here is the review:

-Art-

Another show of improvement. Lines are full now and thicker (in the start they would be gaps between lines sometimes and they were thin). You have a nice variety of poses and expression which is really nice. I am guessing the anatomy is a choice (as in head big and body smaller than the average compare to the head). I believe it work giving the character are not humans giving it it's own unique style.

As for your main concern which was the background I notice you do include more of them such as the police station, interrogation room, etc. I'll use one big example to maybe help you out, it is chapter one - page 28.

This is REALLY, REALLY overabundance of blue, try to find something to break the blue pattern on the wall. Maybe have say a bulletin board in the wall behind one of the characters with it having warnings or other stuff. The point is to have something that makes sense that it should be in the room they are in and helps you break the blue a bit.

Also try not making the floor the same color as the walls, something that happens in your latest chapters (the two being the same colors). Is really rare to find the walls and floor be the same color no matter where you go. If you do, the floor normally has a pattern or something that makes it different than the walls.

-Writing-

I like that you give each character their own form of speaking, giving a nice character to each one. The colored bubbles are also a nice touch helping to know who is saying what in each page. You use good amount of text, not to much but enough to give us all the information we need!

Great coloring on the sound effect to give them that nice extra feeling to them!

-Paneling-

I see is the one page update format, keeping with the standard comic method. I believe it is the best method for one page updates and you are consistent on the space left in between panels. I see that you decide to different the page by making them black (instead of the usual white), is a nice idea, just remember some people associated black black page with it being past events. I doubt they will with yours giving they are all in this pattern

-Story-

I like the concept of the multiverse, though not much has happen to show this (outside of those two falling to one), but the seed is planted and I am sure it'll come up again later on in the story. You have a good pace and are moving the story forward in a good way as it also build up the characters as the story moves (character growth). I look forward to more development and to learn of the situation of the other two lost in the multi-verse!

Keep up the good work and I hope this helps you improve in some aspect.

[antwyonsimpson]

Thanks for the review. i really appreciate it. Its funny you brought up HxH as in influence bc i didnt even know about that at all when i came up with this concept. DBZ is an influence but not a huge one aside from my main characters hair which is a YYH reference as well obviously lol.. I have alot of obvious references in this comic a really big one is the city they live in - Kyyber City which is reference to lightsaber crystals from Star Wars. Even though my story has alot of fighting and combat i really wanted to lean more towards a fantasy/horror type comic later on, for now i just wanted to set up the world and my main characters. For the pages i have up so far i wanted to set up the mental state of my OC Raizao and the reason i had inconsistent background shading is to show the dream hes in breaking down. I guess it didnt work out as planned though. And the shadow popping up out of nowhere was supposed to be an indication of the dream hes in. The way i wanted to set it up is that In the first panel you see his shadow in the tree and you think its Raizao but then when he pops up you realize its not and that hes been followed and stalked this whole time. I understand the confusion. Also the first 13 pages of this comic were made in 2016 and i edited them and tried to fix a few things. Ultimately i decided to keep them to show my progression. I agree with the posing problems. This is something ive tried to remedy in my later pages that i havent posted yet. The panel spacing is something i wondered about but i can fix it in Manga studio. Again thanks for the review ^^ ill defintiely take the advice/tips to heart..

[TimCaloweh]

You can take a whack at mine if you want.

The Rainy Days | Tapas

[GalacticPotato]

Hey, thanks for taking the time to review it. I'll try to keep in mind all of this when working.
I know i have a provlem with the color blue, my idea was to kind of associate differeny worlds with different colors, but it might be a little overkill. To be honest, i didn't even notice the floor thing, i need to pay more attention to detail.
As i tought, most of the problems seem to be on backgrounds, but having a more detailed list of things to improrve is very useful.
You're really doing a great job with these reviews, but i see you're getting a lot of requests, don't overwork yourself

[Daknight]

@antwyonsimpson I hope to see the newer stuff soon then Interesting on going fantasy/horror but I can see it can lead to that. If you are able to I would add some screams to the end when his shadow his chockiing him 'wake up, WAKE UP' to kind of establish is a dream. I know you want to keep the element of surprise that it was all in the head, but I didn't think it was a dream and just that he pass out and then woke up via someone dragging him/saving him.

@GalacticPotato That is a nice idea (the colors for different dimensions) is an easy way to establish different places and hope you are able to find a new happy medium in showing the color and balance Hopefully I won't overwork myself, I mostly do reviews at certain times only to avoid that.

[Daknight]

Here is my review:

-Art-

It seems really rough as lines are scribble like (MS-paint effect most would say). The lack of any color (or grey scale) makes it look to flat even though you have some good backgrounds in quite a few of the panels. You have a nice amount of angles which is really good. The swinging part towards the windows does look really good. The following part with the window shard impale in his leg, you can feel the pain.

Got to say that city shot is one of the best panels all around!

I would suggest to try an invest on a graphic tablet (they can be found for 50 to 60 dollars for starting out) or if you have an android tablet, get medibang and try using a disk stylus. It'll probably better line art I am sure.

-Writing-

There isn't much dialogue per see yet, but it does have a nice comedy feeling to it. I like the use of spacing out the sentence in the latest one 'Its time for lunch'. Gives is a nice touch and it uses the panels in a good way!

-Paneling-

All the panels are the same size and vertical format. I would suggest trying to work with panel sizes, the reason is no matter what, some things are more important than others in a comic and the size of the panel can represent this. For example: When he gets impale, that is a very important moment, if panels where of different sizes you could had make that one big as to drive in home the severity of him being impale.

-Story-

I'll be honest, I have no idea what is going on with the story. The prologue starts a way which seem like a post-apocalypse way with him trying to survive, then suddenly their aliens and comedy routine is played out (which was funny with the whole line mine explosion). Then he is suddenly them with them selling them stuff? I am not sure what the story line is or if their is one, maybe pages are missing (how he get to them, how and why they arrived).

I do see potential in your art to keep improving as your faces are good, just need to improve your line art, incorporate grey scale elements to your stuff and some anatomy elements.

[gh0stcr33p]

thanks for your review! I'll try spacing out the panels more and I'll keep the speech bubble tip in mind. I think some of the lowercase I's were intentional but I don't know about all of them.

[TimCaloweh]

Hahaha. I always like it when someone misinterprets my story. I know i barely have anything to work with but it still nonetheless funny. I mean i thought it was a crazy idea putting aliens in a WW2 setting but it's slowly paying off. Thanks for the review man.

[Daknight]

No problem, sorry for misinterpreting your story (I read the summary so I know what it was about, it was more on the sequence and there being a lack of coherent sequence to some events).

A tip though, if I am not the only one misinterpreting the story try adding some more transition panels from scene to scene (helps in knowing we are moving to another location). I know you did with the ship landing giving us the idea where he came from, but we never say him recover from crashing threw the store door so not many will associated the ship with him (the kid) arriving to meet with the aliens, etc.

[TimCaloweh]

nah i'm adding it on piece by piece. It'll make sense in the end or i'll cut my loses and convert this into novel.

[Seokthih]

Review mine, if you don't mind I'm pretty bad withnmaking rewievs, alas. But I can surely say that I like your comic!

Ravenheart | Tapas