467 / 488
Jan 2017

Granted. A person walks up to you and tells you it's because no one's subscribing sad face

I wish I could, I dunno. Get more sleep?

Granted. You got more sleep...actually an awfully long sleep. not in this dimension thou...by the time you wake up, you found yourself in your bed dressed in long pink gown and had just been kissed by a prince.

I wish that my tab pen's nib be cooperative and allow me to change them cuz gahd wai wunt yu come out nib? wai? lemme change u!!!

Granted, your tablet pen's nib cooperates and gets changed out, but then your tablet pen nib that you took out develops detachment issues and decides to take revenge on you for replacing it. While you sleep, it crawls into your bloodstream and causes a blood clot. You die and cannot draw anymore.

I wish for less wishes.

404 error wish not found. Have you tried turning it off and then on again?

I wish all those ants would get out of my dorm! >:/

Granted! They get out of your dorm and up yo' a$$ instead!

I wish to crack the CTC code.

You crack the CTC code... after 20 years. You wasted all that time.

I wish this wish wouldn't come true.

The wish that wouldnt come true did not, yet it seemed to change you. Growing ever so had in your mind until it was all you thought. What if...? You stand on your last day, none of your wises true anymore, because of this one.

I wish i could see with both eyes god damn it.

Granted!

You see with both eyes! But all you see is the colour black...

I wish I could die...

Well that got dark fast.
Granted!
You die!
......Buuuuuuuuuuuuut you get brought back as an undead vampire. So now you get to suffer for all of eternity!!! >:D

I wish I had enough free time to catch up on Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

You lose your job, home, and everything in an unexplained accident. You now have the free time to catch up on Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, but not the means to.

I wish this wish would counteract my previous wish to make my wishes not come true.

BOOM! Granted!

Evan can now make wishes again! But unfortunately his first wish is destruction upon the entire earth, so now everyone hates you for indirectly causing the apocalypse.

I wish the buses wouldn't be so full all the time.

The buses stop being full all the time. Instead, they become completely empty and highly unprofitable leading to the decommissioning of buses and now you can't ride the bus.

I wish to get a refund on this wish.

No one takes the bus anymore with the invention of teleportation machines, and now the buses are considered obsolete and are completely empty.

Unfortunately, all the bus drivers are aware this happened because of your wish and have formed an angry mob outside of your home. Might be a good time to leave the country and go into hiding for awhile.

I wish I could whistle cry

Your wish has been refunded. You now have 1 free corrupt able wish to use any time you chose between now and January 18th 2018.

Yer wish is granted!
You can now whistle like a bird! Maybe even better than a bird!?
...unfortunately your only means of communication have been reduced to whistling, so no humans can understand you.

I wish someone would throw me off of a 200
storey building. Then apologize.

Someone throws you off a 200 story building and, somehow, you even managed to survive the fall. You are rushed to the hospital and the person who threw you came and apologized. Now, you are in debt from hospital bills because you broke almost every bone in your body, had to get your entire lower body amputated, and most of your upper body too. You live the rest of your life in debt, immobile, and in constant pain.

I wish to extend the expiration date of my free corrupt able wish.

(Ha! Jokes on you, I have free health care.)

Granted!~•'.~
The expiration date has been extended to 5 years, however this now means that 5 people get to corrupt a single wish. In other words, five times the normal amount of suffering and despair.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

For a brief minute in time, you realize your one desire in life. Something that would only vastly improve you existence.

Too bad you wasted it!

I wish someone would make a Redwall movie or something instead of another Fifty Shades of Grey one. Did the first movie even sell that well?!