Critique exchanges!

[theseasick]

ok....I like what you're doing, but, you need to focus on backgrounds and character poses. Shadows are all wrong. It's kinda Steranko minus depth perception. I love that you are doing B&W. Keep it up. Storywise....less is more. Remember that.

[theseasick]

As far as anatomy and perspective....Keep working on It. Some areas are very flat. The good thing is you don't cram every inch with so much detail that it takes away from the story. It looks like you will only get more creative with panel layout, which is going to be exciting to watch develop.

[Cielle]

wow thank you for such a long and detailed review! It means a lot to me ^.^ It's true that I am more comfortable with backgrounds than people. I guess objects just seem more straightforward to me haha. My comic is completely digital (I don't have the patience to scan things into my laptop XD), but concerning the separation of the characters and background, perhaps it is because only my characters have black line art? I hadn't considered that perhaps it made them stand out too much/separated them from their environment. I'll have to think about ways of overcoming that. Thank you for pointing it out! That's very insightful feedback ^.^ Also, thank you for addressing my questions! Your comic is off to a promising start. Now that I know you had a 3 page limit for the class you took, I can see how it would be challenging to fit so much in such a small space! I have no doubt that a lot of my questions will be answered as the plot unfolds. It's a good thing for readers to have a lot of questions at the beginning of a story! At least that's what I think ^.^

[theseasick]

Otherwise, you have some good stuff going on. Keep going! You're just gonna get better and better. It seems you have a real passion for what you've created. Your dialogue fits well. Chapter 2 is leaps and bounds above chapter 1 for style and atmosphere. I really like your character design. Do you have a page for each character's facial expressions to use as reference?

[infectedbloodcomics]

I swear I'll continue with my critiques, I just have been busy with posting my comic in Italian and other stuff. Thank you for your patience.

[infectedbloodcomics]

@keii4ii Hey, great to see you here, too!
thanks much for the detailed critique, you offered some more specific insights that nobody had brought up yet, and I agree they would have worked quite well I'm not going to explain again about the problems with my story being unclear in the very first part, I already repeated myself time and again, but I thank you for this critique as well.

Up to you comic! I also finally had a chance to read it, all of it, in fact. Your art style is clearly amazing. I have no idea if technically is considered to be a manga, so excuse my ignorance if it isn't, but it's really looking great. Very nice colors and shading, awesome costumes, cool facial expressions. You're a true pro, so there's really nothing I can say/suggest about the art!

As for the story, I enjoy the fact that it's set in the Korean culture. It's a nice change for us folks living in the Western part of the world being used to "regular" Japanese manga, and the many references to the language (what certain words mean and how they are used) are what interested me the most. You set up some mysterious premises and very nice interactions among characters that pan out really well and I think make readers care about the characters and continue following your comic.

So, all in all, you're doing an awesome job and you deserve much success

@Jrej Thanks for the critique and the encouragement! You'll see more action and drama for sure

Your comic is really good! The art reminds me a bit of Tin Tin, but with more dramatic accents. I like the coloring, and the contrast between Lev's lack of colors and the rest. It makes him stand out in a natural way, which is really cool and hard to achieve, I believe. The only qualm I have is the resolution of the pages, which makes it hard to read the text. That would be a very easy fix, though, so nothing to worry about

Storywise, I love your take on hobos and their struggles. It looks like a redemption story, so far, where these homeless guys try to change their lives to help a kid. Up to when they met him, they seemed to be quite happy with the way they lived, and I wonder if, given a chance, they would go back to being hobos, even if they had money. They reminded me of a homeless man I saw on TV, years ago, saying very merrily that he loved living in the streets and sleeping at the main station of a metropolis: he said he would die, if he had a roof over his head.

Keep up the good work yourself, I'll check back for sure!

[Jrej]

Thanks for reading my stuff and for the kind words. It's fuel for creativity!
I do work on mini Ipad so I'm limited resolution wise.
I'll see if I can crank that up for an easy read!

Just curious, do you read it on mobile? It looks fine on my devices.

[infectedbloodcomics]

No, I read it on my desktop computer screen Do you do your comic completely on your iPad, did I get it right? It didn't look fully digital to me...

[infectedbloodcomics]

@SandraMJ
Thanks for the critique! I'm aware of the anatomy and face stuff, thanks I'm practicing and that hopefully will show in my next comics.

I looked at Coyote and the art is gorgeous! Really solid stuff, and the colors and shadings are exceptional. It's only three pages so far, so not much to say about the story, except it seems fun.

I also read Prozaic and, well, I didn't understand much about what's going on. Maybe I'm not very used to the specific art/genre, so I can't get it immediately, but I had to reread almost every page to just get what the character was doing and what she was talking about. When I got it, though, it was fun
The art is really not my cup of tea, but you obviously have it down really well. No qualms at all

I actually wonder, do you draw both comics? They seem to come from two different people. Just curious

Have a great one yourself!

@GFalconDX
Thanks for your critique! As I said, I'm practicing, so we'll see if it does get better

About your comic, wow, your world creating skill is really great. I love the perspective, the buildings, the way your comic flows visually, your coloring. Yep, it's all really good. Keep up the great work
Story-wise, well, you have a pregnant woman with a couple of children and that's already pretty unique, I think. At least, I don't remember seeing pregnant women as potential main characters that often in comics. I can also relate to the commentary about poor people having to join the military as almost the only way to escape poverty - an not even succeeding at that. So, interesting social commentaries.

All in all, really great art and intriguing story so far!

@theseasick
Thank you for your installment critique I have some references for the characters' facial expressions, but nothing serious enough. It's on my to-do list, thanks for pointing it out.

As for your comics, they really made me laugh, especially the horrible Judge Jetski and elephrhino. You obviously don't need any critique about your art from me: it's very solid and professionally looking. There isn't much also to read, but so far, again, I found the strips quite entertaining. I am not a fan of old school comics' reboots or cartoons in general, but your style is so accomplished and you are obviously know what you are doing and have fun with it, that I do feel like coming back for more.

Really great stuff!

[chipmalinowski]

I'd love to jump into the club if you have room for one more.

Without reading other people's critiques first, here's my critique of GES:
Episode 1: Add more outline around the title and "Infected Blood Comics". You've got the right idea having a black outline around each letter and a white outline around the black one, but give it even more to really pop. Move the word balloons for "to confess" and "how much" a little further down the page, slightly lower than "and I'm dying to touch you", because that will make my eyes follow the words in the order you intended. You do a good job of making the people stand out from the background, but it could use even more, like maybe use a thinner pen for the grass or use grey ink for the backgrounds and dark black for the characters. The faces are good, but maybe more nose; not too much nose, but a little more would help. Also, I love that you show shadows. I have a feeling darkness and shadows are going to be important to the feel of the whole story. And the soul is apparent right from the start; you make me want to see more of the relationship between these two women. But Shanti is already going steady with Blitz, right? This could be disastrous if she tells her true feelings, but how can she keep love a secret? You got me interested.
Episode 2: The dictator had an army of teenage boys? and even younger? What a dick! I'm glad you gakked him. You're doing a great job of making the male bodies and faces very masculine and the female bodies and faces definitely feminine and strong at the same time.
Ep 3: You got the noses just right on this whole page. Is Sekhmet one of the kids from Ep2 or is that Alexandra's codename? Good idea to have minimal backgrounds because this episode is all about learning the characters. Excellent shocker at the end.
Ep4: The title and producer names stand out great now. The art almost looks like a completely different artist. Good job with leaving white space unfilled. You give enough detail of the background to let me imagine the surroundings, but not so much that it detracts from the characters. In episode 1&2 you had almost every panel filled with grass, but this more lifeless look helps the feel a lot.
Ep 5: Good, graphics, dialogue, and soul, but I'm wanting a cliffhanger surprise again. You could shorten this one to a half a page and get to the next shocker.
Ep6: Now we have tension again. Someone might have to shoot someone they love! I would combine episodes 5 & 6 into one page to keep ending the page with suspense. One trouble here - the ladies' dark shadows and the expanse of bright white make me feel like they are in a bright light, but the dialogue tells me they are hunting around in complete darkness. Plus I saw them run into the dark ruins. I'm not sure how to fix it. Maybe make the shadows just slightly darker than the surroundings.
Ep 7: Nice image, but it doesn't add much after the previous page. Is she dropping her gun as a peace gesture? Shouldn't it make a loud noise?
Ep8: I think you rushed Alexandra's image at the bottom of the page. She looks more masculine than ever before. I know there is a lot of tension to find out if love or bullets will win out, but I'm ready to get out of this basement already. There is room to add more back story if you wanted them to talk more. I expect either of them could locate the other in the dark if she spoke, but it would be forgivable to fill up the space with a long story of why they were completely justified with all the killing in the past.
On the whole, the graphics are better in the latter episodes, but the story is better in the earlier episodes. The story goes too slow in the ruins. Let's either kiss and make up or somebody shoot somebody, or have a runaway train bust into the room, so they have to declare a stalemate and run for it.
That's my two cents. (I want to see more.)

And Here's my comic (just starting out). Paragon Whoosh! The main question on my mind is, "Is it fun?" In other words, what should I do or stop doing to make it more fun to read?

[SandraMJ]

Yep, I draw, write, and color both! It's just that I have a lot of styles to draw with, haha. I'm really glad you like Coyote, Prozaic itself is rather old (the pages uploaded to Tapastic are from last year's May) and it's been improving progressively, so I hope it'll become something better in the future ^^

Thanks a lot for the critique!

[CPY]

I want to signup for this!!!

My comic is: Partners in Crim (PIC)
Thanks.
I'll write the critique later on and update it here.

--------- Upated ----------

I am going to write a critique (even if I'm not in the 10-person slot), so if I'm not included, it's ok, you don't have to write me one.

I find the comic confusing as I cannot follow the story, at times it feels jumpy. The composition and text is a little messy at the start and got better later on (starting chapter 2, part1) and the characters 'poof' turned nicer, especially Sekhmet hair ... LOL. And you've some quite solid background, I like the crosshatched effect you did in one of them.

However, I find it strange they suddenly kinda fall out?
I don't know when did the 2 ladies start to have doubt on each other ... maybe it'll be better if you include some OS about what they think? But of course that will not be needed if the purpose is to explain what happen later on - like kinda of a 'back-tracking' style.

Just my 2 cents.

---

[infectedbloodcomics]

Thanks for your critiques, I'll get your comics as soon as I can, I'm a bit busy this weekend, but I promise I won't forget you! If anyone else wants to sign up, please go ahead, I'm accepting more critique exchanges

[Jrej]

You are right! I started inking on paper and using PS for olors. But after page 20, I switched to full digital because I have been travelling a lot and it was more convenient!
Hope he transition is not too abrupt...

If at least it doesn't get you out of the story that's a win!

[keii4ii]

I never know how to respond to super positive reviews... But I still want to let you know that I really appreciate it! Thank you <3

[theseasick]

Thank you! Your words make me feel like I am worthy of this art form

[GFalconDX]

Thank you for the critique. I will keep it up. Although with the mother and her children; they're not main characters, but they probably will be recurring characters in future chapters. But yes, I did have the mother there as I wasn't really sure how else to convey the social commentary about the class divide in the story.

[infectedbloodcomics]

Oh ok Still, that was a great social commentary.

[infectedbloodcomics]

@chipmalinowski
Wow, that was a hell of a detailed and enthusiastic critique, thank you very much! Don't worry, something will happen quite soon to Shanti and Sekhmet, let's see if you can guess it right

About your comic, let me start by saying that I am not a huge fan of 3D, because I tend to find it lifeless. Still, I'm sure it's very hard to master and I am always quite amazed whenever I see artists who can get elbows and knees to bend naturally and faces that show any real emotion. You have both most of the time, which is really great. You obviously put a lot of effort into your characters, and it really shows. However, I think that backgrounds need some work: I understand that we have psychedelic grass and a red sky, but I think that the general effect is that of a juxtaposition, more than an organic differentiation between characters and background. If you were aiming for that effect, of course, it's all good, but then you should be cautious to separate a bit more clearly/correctly the horizon line/ground from the sky. For example, the very last page of Episode 2, on the very last panel, shows your heroes trying to get up. The two characters in the back seem to be floating in the air, and I'm not sure why that happens (come to think of it, is it the hoverbots still making them float in the air? If so, that's not clearly conveyed, especially because the darker guy goes from facing down in one panel to facing up in the next with no understandable transition).
Next, unless that was your intention, I would also watch out for the lion, as his back legs seem a bit disjointed, almost as if they belonged to an elephant Heck, it's an alien lion, so I don't know, that could be natural!
Other points: I like the fact that you change color for your balloons, so we can tell who's speaking (given that you don't have tips). But I would suggest to differentiate more between the text in the white balloons. I understand that white balloons with black text belong to the white guy and white balloons with the brown text belongs to one of the ladies, but the brown is a bit too similar to the black, so I would either change color or make it easier to differentiate between the two. Now that I re-read your comic one more time, I actually can't tell if there is a third brown for the other woman... Which makes everything even more confusing, alas. Finally, watch out for consistency: the balloons belonging to the guy attacked by the lion go from "acid" green to a brighter green in a very short space of 4 panels or so.

Now, you are asking mostly if your comic is fun, and I am bugging you with all the art stuff, because I think that it is distracting enough to hinder the fun. If I need to concentrate hard on several panels to understand where the characters are positioned with respect to the background or decode who's speaking, that is distracting. Still, the characters are fun! I have no idea why the men are dressed like Japanese guys ready for a bath, but it's funny. They also seem to have landed on a psychedelic form of Earth, which makes me wonder if they are perhaps in a parallel universe! The hoverbots seem quite handy and they tickle my imagination: they can change into samurai armors and break people's falls, but what else can they do? And is Number 4 going to be the designated victim for all sorts of abuse? I also wonder if he's a robot or some sort of a synthetic being...

All in all, while I see potential for a fun story, I also find too many distractions so far to be able to enjoy it fully. I think that fixing at least the balloons clarity/consistency and working on a clearer transitioning from one panel to another would do your comic much more justice, because it would get rid of much source of confusion. Next, I would work a bit more on the backgrounds.
I hope I'm not sounding too harsh, but I really see something that could be quite nice and can't shine through because of the underlying distraction I'm mentioning. Heck, I root for you and I'll check back

[infectedbloodcomics]

@CPY Pant pant I'll get to your comic, too, I promise Thank you for your patience!