Critique exchanges!

[chipmalinowski]

Thanks Very Much, @infectedbloodcomics !
I love it. I will make improvements. (Although I already posted Episode 3 for release next Sunday.)
I will work on getting consistency with all the technical details of the art and word balloons. It has surprised me how much work there is to a comic besides the characters and backgrounds. You have to choose how sounds look, and how titles and editor's notes to the audience appear as well. I'm gaining appreciation for the million little things. Now let's see if I can improve. Thanks again.

[infectedbloodcomics]

My pleasure, truly! I'll check your comic out.

BTW, my next page is already out on my website, if you want to have a look (Or you can wait for Tapastic, in about three hours)

[chipmalinowski]

Now that's what I'm talkin' about. Love wins over fear, guilt, duty, and all else. Somebody had to lay their cards on the table for all to see and find out if the other person feels the same way.

The only way I see a happy ending coming out of this is to fake somebody's death for the official record. I hope we will have some cuddle time and fight our way through a hoard of full grown male hardened soldiers and bounty hunters along the way.

I noticed that the poses and facial expressions roughly tell the story to a viewer who doesn't read English. The words and images complement each other to tell the same story. I'm going to have to consider that with my future episodes too.

I didn't miss the backgrounds, since the focus is on what's in the characters' hearts, plus I already know they are in a very dark room. I could even do without those 3 stones on the floor of the 1st panel.

[infectedbloodcomics]

Awesome further critique, thanks! And I'm very glad you got something out of this page for your comic. Keep up the good work!

[infectedbloodcomics]

@CPY Ok, here we go! Thanks for your critique, sorry you found the story a bit confusing, it should become clearer and clearer as it goes on.

Your comic as a whole gives me the impression that you are dragging the story and recycling things quite a bit, and that is not very pleasant to me

I think that the story drags, because you could have easily condensed the dialogue by at least three pages. I understand both your characters are assholes, and you are trying to convey that through their interaction, but the dialogue goes on a bit too long and in a repetitive way.

As for the art: I would advise against reusing the same models or the same drawings of characters from panel to panel. For example, several silhouettes are repeated at least three times on Page 1, and I see you are reusing the same drawings of the same main characters (even the same panel!) as well, like at the bottom of page 6 (as gray silhouette) and at the top of page 7.

Your backgrounds seem also a bit empty and with a lot of unnecessary black or texture, as if you needed to just get the panels going.

All in all, I think that you may have an interesting story, but it would have a much better impact if it didn't give the impression of being put out there just because you needed to get something done in a hurry. This, at least, is my very strong impression: it seems rushed. I think you should take your time, condense dialogues, and avoid repeating your art.

Good luck

[CPY]

Thanks for taking time to do a critique for my comic.

I didn't know I've made so much mistakes and that recycling images would give such a bad impression to readers... and that the story is just dragging and boring ...

I do have reasons for the repetitive of Karl's actions though but I guess I didn't show it well, hopefully the later pages will be able to show that.

I've just start on learning to use screen tones instead of gradient for my backgrounds, so hopefully the later pages would be better. Also, I will be more careful about pacing and reusing of models and characters.

Anyway, thanks for the critique. It'll definitely help me make better comics!

[DynamoToon]

Is it too late for you to critique mine? Be warned, I literally JUST started last week and I'm not experienced with the whole "digital drawing" stuff. I'm still practicing with Paint Tool Sai, so I can start my big project FetchQuest (not final name), but here ya go.
http://tapastic.com/series/Room-for-Improvement

As for your comic I can admire realistic art when it's done really well, and you sir do a very good job, I'd say 7/10. However, the faces and proportions are a tad bit off so I may suggest to fix those further. Other than that the character designs are good, the story from what I've read is decent so far, and the style in my opinion is a very bold and good choice. Might subscribe.

[infectedbloodcomics]

Hi, I really hope you didn't take my critique as totally negative, because it isn't at all!

I never said your story is boring, quite the contrary! I said that it's interesting, but it drags a bit because of a couple of general points that I believe need correcting. By "repetitive", I didn't mean "boring": I meant that it repeats itself unnecessarily, because it could be condensed. It's the execution of the panels that leaves me a bit unenthusiastic. Karl blocks the girl's way a couple of times, which is fine. He could be doing that even longer, heck, it could be a long gag and be funny, but the other repetitions in the art of panels and characters contribute to the general sense of dragginess I experience when reading your comic.

Truly, I didn't mean to be hard on you. I think it's cool you are making a comic on bad guys, because it's an angle that I personally find fascinating and harder to focus on that just showing good guys, so more power to you. Just a tad of corrections and I'm sure you'll have something good going, from what I've seen so far

Peace!

[infectedbloodcomics]

Hi there, no, it's not too late. I think I'll just keep taking requests, it's fun But I'm busy drawing my next comics (two at the same time...), so I will get to everyone's requests when I have time. I promise I'll get to your asap!

[DynamoToon]

No rush, take your time.

[CPY]

No worries ... I didn't really see it as totally negative and I am definitely not sulking over your critique or think you're trying to be hard on me. I know I won't always get good comments/critiques and that I still have lots to learn. It could be my limited language and vocab ... So really, don't get me wrong.

But I do thought that dragging + repetitive would mean "boring". I am more of a 'content person', so it does affect me more if its the storyline or and perhaps pacing that is bad compare to the art or grammar being bad. I started out as a fanfic writer, so yeah. But I guess I misinterpreted your words and I'm glad we clear that up.

The fact is your critique made me think harder about the 'future' of my comic. And question myself - for example how can I make the art not repetitive even when the scene is at the same spot? Do I need to have more long shots or 'special angles'? What other expressions and body language can I've for the same 'feeling' (like angry, happy, cocky ,,,blah)? So yeah, i am thankful.

[infectedbloodcomics]

That's awesome! The bit about having two characters in the same confined place for a while and not making the art repetitive and the dialouge dragging is tough. I personally change the camera angle a lot and try to make the dialogue as short as I can, even when it's a wall of text. You can have a look at my latest page, if you'd like

I also have lots to learn, so good luck to both of us!

[elle1234567]

Ooh. Ooh. Me. Do me! (Archer: Phrasing!). Comic here: http://tapastic.com/series/The-Christmas-Truce-A-Story-of-Goodwill-Toward-Men-in-Our-Darkest-Hour

As for yours, the main thing that strikes me is that there's not much variety in facial expression. Maybe I'm obsessive about that, but I think it really adds to a story. For more on that, read Scott McCloud's Making Comics.

[infectedbloodcomics]

@andres8ol Thanks much for the critique, I'm working really hard on facial expressions and anatomy, hopefully the hard work will pay off in my next comics Just... mmm.. I'm not a sir, I'm a madam

Your comic is hilarious. I laughed at every single story. Great quirky humor, really funny situations. You definitely have a knack for gags, and if you can keep up with this much variety, I'm sure you'll have a lot of success. The art is really simple and clean, yet it conveys emotions and situations extremely well. Really great job! Might subscribe myself.

@elle1234567 Thanks for your critique! Working on those facial expressions for sure I am also obsessive about that, I'm simply learning, and I will get there. And thanks for the hint to Scott McCloud's book, I only read bits and pieces of it on the web, but I'll definitely check out the complete book.

So, your comic is fantastic. The story is engaging, the pace really nice, the art is clean and the coloring is spot on. It reminded me of a videogame called Valiant Hearts, are you familiar with it? Here's a little self-promotion of my YouTube channel, where you can see what the game looks like, and you'll see what I mean (and hear my voice for a good laugh)
I also have a soft spot for people being dragged into the military unwillingly (Sekhmet is more or less one of them), and making the best out of it, even through the horror they must witness and the atrocities they almost invariably have to commit. So, your story hit a high note with me personally, and it's even more rewarding seeing such a story drawn so well. Great job!

[elle1234567]

Aw, Shucks. Thanks for such a flattering review. Scott McCloud's book is wonderful in it advises about both art and story telling. If you're so inclined, the exercises at the ends of chapters are also really helpful. - That game looks fantastic. I'm on that like white on rice.

[infectedbloodcomics]

I'll definitely get a hold of that book, thanks! I'm glad you're giving that game a go, it's really beautiful and unique.