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frodobolzon
Sep '18

It has been quite a while since I started uploading My webcomic Undercopper, and considering popularity it might be to soon to request for a review, But since I've finished Chapter one and I'm on tracks for chapter Two, would be nice to know the opinion of other Artist, this would help me a lot to improve my skills. knowing what i'm doing right, what i'm doing wrong and how to improve on what I'm slacking.

So be polite guys, nevertheless, don't worry to much to be harsh, I kinda have a thick skin,

Please post your critique here in this THREAD, not in the COMIC

Also if you'd like a review place in the top of your reply "(EXCHANGE)" just like that, so I know you'd like a review, and of course you gotta review the comic otherwise what's the point on comenting

HERE IS LINK!!! (Click the amazing picture)

11

What you'll see? An action/comedy based comic based on the missadventures of police officers who don't understand what self preservation means.

Note: In my reviews I always point two aspects with a pluss.

-Artwork
-Storytelling
-Pluss (Sometimes is overall design, sometimes is comunity engaging or something I forgot to add in the other sections)

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    Sep '18

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    Sep '18
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unknown_user
Sep '18

(EXCHANGE)

So, that what I can say about your comics:
Artwork:
It is good mostly, but pictures with foreshortening from the bottom up and from other unusual angles are not so good. Movement dynamics are well drawn (if object is moving, it's trajectory is clear). Face of the girl cop (new partner of Johnson, from the beginning of the chapter #2) on the different pictures is not the same sometimes. For example, I still don't sure if a girl from the cover of the comics is the same to the girl from the beginning of the chapter #2 (but she should be, from the logic)
Storytelling:
Story is fun and clear (but is too short for this moment :slight_smile: )
Pluss:
There are a lot of stories about the cops already, including fun stories and comedies. So you should be really original to stand out from others. Characters, jokes and story itself should probably have more unusual and peculiar features to draw attention of the random reader.

This is my comics:


I know that it could be hard to understand what's going on here, but I'd greatly appreciate to see review for it, too. Especially I'd like to understand what is clear, and what is not clear enough from the plot and probably how to improve my drawing style and scene composition :grinning:

frodobolzon
Sep '18

I know, gotta use photo reference for those dinamic angles next time.

I've just noticed, maybe making a character sheet would help with that (I had those for Johnson and Anderson)

Good bless logics, and that means there's good story telling even within the cover :DD

That's both an advantage and disadvantage, meaning there's a lot refereral sources to get relatable material, but also as you say make it challenging to stand out in that same niche, is good to know that I should be a little bit more over the top, and well, I have few things under my sleves for next chapters.

Thanks a lot for your review, I'll check out your thingyly thingy thing and let you know once my review is ready for delivering! xd se ya around Tired Programer, this Tired Graphic Designer salutes you.

frodobolzon
Sep '18
unknown_user

I got your review, let me know where do you want it, here in this Thread or on your private wall, or as a private message

frodobolzon
Sep '18

Cool, hope I haven't been too though, take things with a thick skin and remember the goal is to improve.

Concerning to artwork:
It's smooth and there's a lot of room to improve. Gotta work on anatomy. sometimes characters seems to be ragdolls, and fight scenes lacks intensity, need to aim for extreme and dinamic angles, otherwise it seems very flat, flatter than average dialogue, and if that happens there's no point to have fight scenes. Faces are well defined and discernible even though I think you could go the extra mile adding some wrinkles and exagerating a bit the expresions, even though I believe is the best thing related to artwork in this comic.

Backgrounds, background elements seems to cliche and sloppy, would be nice to enhance the perspective work in there, actually if you used refrence for those even if that would mean ripping off the original, would do wonders, y advice here would be to make your own photo references with your cellphone (if possible) or ask friends to make you that favor of taking pictures to landscapes, buildings and sidewalks, believe me it will do wonders for your backgrounds, I personally don't do this but I know for a fact many artist do that, Bryan O'malley the creator of Scott Pilgrim did it a lot.

And finally color, color palette is somewhat nice, has certain harmony, but above that it's not doing anything else, feel free to compose within color palettes to evoke emotions.

Concerning storytelling:
It is in it's early stages so I can't tell to much, Would be nice if there was more context within the comic, it is supposed to be a post apocaliptic world as far as I Know but the design and the geographical depiction doesn't tell me that, also the main characters seems almost like copy one from eachother (talking about personality), if this is what you're aiming for then you've nailed it, but if you haven't pay attention to it then be careful, try to give them a personality trait and stick to it, let them show that. The villains that appeared afterwards have some spark and is very welcome that their personalities are different.

Finally, You haven't done this, but it is giving me those vibes, avoid exposition! try to keep it at the bare minimum, remember, Show don't tell, for writters this is more abstract and harder to achieve, but us as comic artist can actually show things instead of telling, Keep dialogue and captions for things you can't actually show or to give a costumbrism feel.

Notes:

You have certain basics well stablished here and there, the best advice I could give you is to use photo reference and to study some artistic anatomy, never be afraid to make a mistake and don't ever get attached to a drawing. You are still learning and always can make it better, but in the process gotta crack some eggs to make the omelette.

unknown_user
Sep '18

Wow! That's really detailed feedback, thanks a lot!
I understood already that there is lack of dynamics in my battle scenes and face expressions. I'm trying to work at this. Also, yes, I tried unusual angles, but I couldn't make them seems good. Instead, they appeared funny. This is one of these attempts, just for example (LOL):

About the story: I'm trying to avoid too much text, but I affraid that it makes the plot less clear... I discussed my comics with friends, and realised that they don't understand some points of plot without the clarification. I'm still thinking how to make the plot more clear, and, yes, how to find the way to add context.
P.S. I'm also very curious, why do you think that the main characters have the same personality? I thought that I have not revealed them yet. (in fact, they surely will have some features in common, but they will have differences, too).

frodobolzon
Sep '18

but I couldn't make them seems good. Instead, they appeared funny. This is one of these attempts

Yeah it's really hard, myself have strugles with this, is a thing that has to do a lot with perspective and the chose of the shot, like first plane, american plane and so on. Try studying other comics and mangas to figure out what's that thing they do that works so well on figthing scenes, Me Myself study this aspects on animation and Live action Movies.

My fella, I think I have the answer for you, constumbrism and general planes, take some panels to show the ways around of this world, depict detailed scenography (as detailed as your skills allow you and your patience, I strugle with this alot xD) to show this is te future and humanity hitted the fan really hard don't have to state with text, show far in the background the silouethe of a city in ruins, everything is made out of scrap metal, there's tons of rust and wires everywhere between leavs, dirt and branches, showing that the organic had to join with technology to remain, and viceversa. those kind of details and the decision of show them are something to take in consideration on story board stage or general script, "eastern eggs" also helps a lot, a Calendar with the year on the foreground meanwhile two characters are talking. As I told you is just a thing of showing instead telling, keep the amount of text as it is, cause it's good just think through ways to depict a more descriptive context within the graphical elements in the panel.

The last point. I though the main characters were the red head and the guy with silver hair, and is a thing on their mannerism, expresions and way to talk, is almost like if you were to invert the places you could see them behaving exactly as they already have.