Emotional Support/Advice Thread

[ChanYE]

holy shit my value on life has risen from reading this thread. hope you guys are making it through.

Ive got alot going on, grades are in the gutter, im failing classes left and right and on top of that i still have to get my hours in to graduate which i havent done. i know this is all my fault and im the only one to blame for this. but ....on the bright side ive got a couple months left to retake the class ive failed, get my grades up. and ive already gotten accepted to a couple schools.

on the not so bright side ive been speaking to my mother about being scared to go to college because i dont have any scholarships (ive applied and applied i never get a reply back) dept and anxiety. she understands and assures me everything will be ok. but im just not buying it. there are certain things i do in my own home to relieve stress that i just wont be able to do in a dorm. my dogs really help relieve my stress and when im at college who am i supposed to snuggle and praise when im feeling down? or when i need solitude to ease my troubles it will hardly be given to me because ill be roomed with someone i dont even know! or the worst and scariest of all, just not being able to really make a connection with anyone

and lastly i think one of my bbys is going deaf. hes been more aggressive than ever. whenever i call for him he does not come and it takes alot of effort for him to hear a sound. hes been having tummy problems but i feel i can fix that by giving him a better diet. ive told my mom to just let me feed him but shes not having it she feeds him tons of garbage that makes zero sense for a dog to be eating.

[lunaartemisasama]

Being vegan is not as easy as it seems, people need to follow an strict diet and take suplements.The internet helps but I think is always good to go and see an specialist (nutricionist or similar).

Well, good luck I suppose. I hope your dad can understand that you are not into that,as far as I know eating meat at least twice a week helps. (But I am not expert in that field)

Regards!

[Swamp]

On school, I find it really helpful to try and figure out why you're struggling. It sounds like you've been feeling pretty overwhelmed and anxious. Focusing on self blame tends to make things harder, especially when you have anxiety. Take time to figure out why you're failing (as in "I need to make structured time to complete my homework" or "I need to work on getting more sleep", instead of as in "because I'm stupid and I suck") can really help.

College debt is horrible, and I can't really speak to that, but I went through college with... pretty severe anxiety, and it was pretty bad at times, but I'm still glad I did it and had some amazing experiences. Tips
-You don't need to be friends with your roommate. Three years, I lived with friends, but first year I lived with a stranger with a totally different personality. She turned out to be a pretty cool person with her own struggles. We didn't talk, but we quietly respected each other's space.
-Use campus mental health programs. Free counseling is super important, and it gives you somebody on your side if you need accommodations for your anxiety. Talk to teachers at the start of the semester if you're having a rough time, and keep them updated. Plenty of teachers are understanding and give extensions.
-Find quiet spaces. If you need a good cry, or just some quiet, it's good to have a place you know you can go. Me and my friends had a hallway we jokingly called "the crying hallway", because it's where everyone went when they needed space.
-Visit the local animal shelter. Small animals need socialization, you need to hug a dog occasionally. It's a great combo. I visited cats in college and it was super nice.
-Try and eat well. Eat some green things and protein things, and your brain and body will be more resilient.

On dogs, I wouldn't worry too much about a pup going deaf. (Though I would worry more about your mom giving him human food) As somebody with a deaf... dog in law(? fiance's family dog), and somebody who researched it a bit while adopting, dogs adjust to deafness much better than most animals. The main thing to work on is not scaring him! There's lots of great articles on line about training deaf dogs, but if he's getting snappy, he's probably just getting surprised and jumpy. There are certain ways to warn deaf dogs that you're coming that should make his world a lot less scary if you teach them to the other people in the house.

[gh0stcr33p]

I always feel awful because I have really bad anxiety, which causes me to isolate myself from other people my age, and I literally can't even talk to any of them. my parents have completely different opinions so I can't even see a doctor to find out what's wrong with me. I have no irl friends anymore so I really don't have anyone my age to trust. it just makes me so depressed and I need help
(edit) I also feel like I might be a total asshole and people might think that too but I really don't know

[dawgofdawgness]

Ghostie, you’re a hilarious and quirky person (ghost), im sorry anxiety’s keeping you from reaching out to other people
Do you have a teacher you can trust (I think I remember you naming one of them, didja get in contact with them?) That might help a little bit with the parent issue. Sorry you’re stuck in a pickle. The school nurse can also be really great.

[gh0stcr33p]

I'm seriously too scared to go up to a teacher or nurse and talk to them

[dawgofdawgness]

I wish I could teleport to where you are and help you..
Tell you what, have you tried writing an email to them? It’s so much better than talking to adults irl

[gh0stcr33p]

I don't know... ik my way of thinking is really off but I just think that could come off as gay or something..
(edit) I know it's weird of me to think that

[gh0stcr33p]

yeah..never mind. I'm probably not gonna accept help anyways

[DiegoPalacios]

Hi ghostieblu, i know interacting with people in person can feel awkward sometimes (specially if you don`t know the person). What helped me was reading some self-help books like "how to talk to anyone" from Leil Lowndes, And "the power of now".

Also, in the recent years i met lots of people going to Kenjutsu classes. You could go to a class of something of your interest and in the proccess meet people with the same interests.

Hope this helps!

[ChanYE]

hey thanks for taking the time out of your day to reply.

Take time to figure out why you're failing

ive multiple reasons why but i know only one can be fixed. the others kinda wherent up to me.
(if you want to know why basically ive got a class where i feel its kind of messy, i cant describe it. the teacher helps you with assignments but she doesnt.. teach. and the other part is me just waiting to the last minute to do her work because i hate doing it.

and the roomate thing... seniors from last year came back to my school to give a discussion on what college is like for them anddd most of them hate it. its either because of terrible roomates, or realizing the professors threw work at them and did not hold their hand.

Use campus mental health programs. Free counseling is super important

thanks for reminding me i gotta see if the college im looking at rn has one. they offer everything else

thanks for the tips! ill look for a animal shelter to volunteer for. over there. i did in my area but they never got back to me rip...

my dog is very old, like 12 years old. only recently have me and my family noticed hes going deaf. we already trained him but when we tell him to sit or come he doesnt listen. so i have to rely heavily on physical language with him. hes always been grumpy but not this evil. he growls and anyone and everyone. my mom already booked an appointment to see wtf is going on with him.

[zuggarts]

@ghostieblu Have you heard of this site called '7 Cups of Tea'? I haven't been on there for a few years so I don't know if it's taken a turn, but from what I remember it was really effective for me in dealing with my anxiety and depression back in high school. You are anonymously linked to a volunteer 'listener' to whom you can just spill your guts about life--they are trained to listen to you without judgement and provide you with support (they are also moderated and reviewed by the community, so it's unlikely that you get matched with someone who is just there to troll--I know because I used to be a listener there when the site was first established). It's very useful especially if you feel as though you have nobody in real life to talk to about these problems. Give it a shot, and same goes to anyone else who is having problems on this thread.

@ChanYE Really sorry that you're feeling this way. College can be a really rough transitional period for a lot of people, but know that you'll grow so much as a person coming out of it. It's easy to get overwhelmed, so maybe try not to think about too many things. Try meditation and some mindfulness techniques; focus your all on one thing at a time--it really helps to reduce the mental 'clutter' that comes with anxiety.

If you want some tips on dealing with finances in college to avoid debt, PM me? I have been neurotically avoiding debt so far in my second year and on-track with things, maybe I could be of help in some way? It's a long shot but I'd be glad to help if I could.

[gh0stcr33p]

thanks. I'll take a look at the website

[Shanny8]

Nothing super bad, just kinda bummed coz this particular commission(artist) I really wanted for some bonus content of my printed comic isnt going to happen for this particular issue. I already found out in estimating my order that I now have 2 pages that I needed to fill; now I gotta replace this artist(the artist offered a refund, which I'm not gonna do coz I feel this artist is really good)...I'll just use their art in the next printed installment of my comic.

[MayelV]

Hi ghostie. I have been diagnosed with adhd and social anxiety. I'm an adult and I still struggle and I believe I am going to struggle for the rest of my life.
I went through something similar in school and what really helped were online friends. I did feel safer talking to them, even to a complete stranger in a forum. You can try the 7 Cups of Tea site, I tried but I was too anxious when they talked to me so I quit. Later on, I tried going to a psychiatrist and he gave me meds that worked for a while but I also quit because the side effects were very uncomfortable, like having your mouth dry and your ears plugged all the time. Also looking and feeling like I had no soul.

I do feel better now and let me tell you why, because I accepted my reality. I accepted that no one is going to help me the way I needed it, so I tried looking out for myself. When it comes to talking to people, I have to assimilate that THEY ARE NOT JUDGING ME. That I AM NOT THEIR CENTER OF ATTENTION, so it's fine to talk to them, normally. A thing that helped me in a lot of ways were getting a dog and tutoring. You read that right! Going out with my dog has helped me interact with people more because they approach me, asking if they can pet my dog. I even made a couple of acquaintances that way! And tutoring has given me a confidence boost because it has tricked my brain into thinking that the person I'm tutoring knows that I'm in charge. I also switched those awful meds for natural remedies that reduce stress and anxiety like GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid).

I hope my experiences can help you in a way, I really do. Try whatever you need to try, but do it. And stick to whatever works for you, even if it's logging into a website and rambling or going out with a dog. Mental and physical activity is key!

Virtual hugs, buddy <3

[dawgofdawgness]

I can’t tell if other people are intentionally trying to hurt me or not. Whenever one of my friends ignores me or something there’s this sharp stabbing pain in my chest and I start overthinking the situation and assume the worst. And it’s always about some stupid small thing (that I later realize is really unimportant) that I completely freak out over. My therapist told me to try not to skip to conclusions all the time but I can’t help but realize that no matter how hard I try, nobody will give a shit about me.
I get it. That’s how human nature works, you want to fulfil your own needs before helping someone else. But gosh darn it i feel horribly lonely all the time because nobody can really truly understand what I’m feeling. Their words are empty, like “feel better soon” or “you are not alone”. And then. Somebody tells me “don’t worry millions of others ryeenagers also have depression” I don’t give a SHIT. Can you please just talk to me? About anything? Theyre not even trying to be subtle about avoiding me either. It’s almost as if they want me to die.

[VibrantFox]

i was feeling like this earlier today actually. it's weird actually saying it someplace but i kind a broke down for a bit posted something dumb on my fb and surprisingly got an answer. i felt stupid because in that moment before i was sure no one cared. i haven't talked to these friends in years but just seing a response made me cry again cuz i was sure they didn't care. sometimes you get people who care and some who donn't and i'm really sorry if those time where you're hoping for someone to reach out and they don't. i dont have a therapist or whoever to tell me what's wrong but i recognize some of my symptoms and try to work with that.

I seriously hope that you don't think people want you gone. even when it does feel that way it's not. people care even if it's not shown and even though some of us are just "strangers on the internet" we care too. i've made good friends and we'd stay up just talking stuff out just being there so don't feel alone and if you've got to work out those negative emotions i hope your able to do so safely. i'm a pretty awkward person usually but i'm here if you need someone to chat with and i really hope you'll be okay.

[LCT_m_a_d]

Something I started doing years ago, and i still do now is go to the same local coffee shop and read my favorite books. I'm not the most confident person socially, but I feel somewhat protected by the staff who knows me as a regular. Sometimes people I've never met before will see Im reading and take the initiative of breaking the ice, but on my terms. The great thing is I can be social or retreat at the same time If I feel so inclined.

[LCT_m_a_d]

Nobody is going through the same struggles as you. It's true that everyone is fighting battles and it is comforting to know that many have found ways to overcome seemingly insurmountable obtacles. However, it's important to know that we should move at our own pace and you deserve to climb your own latter of healing. No one has the authority to dismiss your struggles for you.

[lunaartemisasama]

That's the spirit, Don't give a shit!!!

Also this is from one of my favourite artists Destiny Blue