I'm so depressed I can't function.
I just need someone to talk to about either the fandom I'm into, or the things I'm trying to write. Things I care about.
Really, I need to find someone who shares my view of the world. Every time I try to join a community, I get kicked out for my views. Which, basically, I don't believe in gender, I think everyone should be an individual and try to take apart the boxes they label as "male" and "female", and that everyone should use things from both boxes, should recognize that everyone's contents of those boxes are different, and just... everyone should do everything, not just contain themselves to one half of life. That and other things, basically, that I want to talk to people who are a lot more open-minded.
Basically, what I mean is, I want to talk to people about characters, but not have them assume that characters will adhere to a gender; I want to talk about polyamorous ships; I want to talk about quiet, slow-paced, meditative beauty, and philosophy, and things like that, not just some... loud comedy action whatever.
I want to have a friend who I can just text and say "I was thinking about this scenario between these characters..." and describe it, not get worried that they'll call me a pervert, and have them respond with something other than "oh, cool" and then change the subject. Which is what people I know do, if they respond at all. Usually, they don't.
I... basically haven't gotten out of bed for three days because I'm so depressed. I'm supposed to be looking for a job, but...
I need to be an artist and have an impact with my art. But every time I get online and I see that everyone else is posting drawings and getting so much feedback, and they have friends who actually remember their characters' names, and support them, and all that, like... I feel like I don't count. I feel like I'm not valid. Because I've never had friends like that.