Family Tropes You Dislike

[Kiweevil]

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)

[TheBluester]

Oh my goodness, I was looking to rant about this!

• There's this family trope (I've mostly seen it on Wattpad?) where a CEO always has to have a bad relationship with his family for some reason. Yes, I understand it can be stressful to take up the mantle of the business and have all that weight and pressure on your shoulders but that doesn't mean you have to hate everyone around you for that fact. Honestly, there may be stories out there that do away with this trope but so far? I have yet to find them.

• Parents that just don't show love nor care towards their children? What I mean by this is that they act...bland, as if they're not even a character. Sure, if the parents are only shown in one of two chapters then this is kind of excusable but it seriously bugs me when the parents are just these oblivious people who don't seem to care where their son/daughter is going. At the very least? Have a few interactions and such that show the love between the child and parent!

• (Not exactly a family trope I suppose? But it still boils my nuggets). When pertaining to two gay parents (Lesbian or Homosexual), I hate it when people try to have the child refer to one of the parents as 'Dad' (or Mom depending on the situation) instead of just calling them both Mom/Dad. Yes, it may be confusing to the readers but there is an easy way to combat this in my opinion! Simply have the MC refer to one of the parents as Mother/Father and the other as Mom/Dad. I feel like referring to one of the parents as something entirely different is just...rude? Maybe even a little bit sad as well, as if the child is just longing for a Mom/Dad so badly to the point they purposefully get things wrong in order to fill in that gap.

[nathanKmcwilliams]

They're called Otalku. The comic they reviewed was my one-shot for the Tezuka Contest.

And yikes. I hope that ship doesn't sail

[ar-ninetysix]

I thught it was generally agreed upon that this was an outdated concept tbh lol like duhhh

[sarahmcsquish]

100% hate the "your family is complete ass and constantly treat you terribly but they're family so you have to love them and deal with them". Like, just cut them off?? I have chunks of family I've cut off for their abusive behaviors. I hate when movies have overly controlling parents or super toxic siblings BUT at the end they all still hang out for whatever holiday/event. I'd love if a movie just once had the main character go "you know, I'd enjoy blank holiday way better with just my cat"

[azzy-m]

I surprisingly drew a blank here. I always have some sort of trope to complain about but I really don't have any, and then I realize most of my characters are either orphans, people from abusive households, or people who's parents simply aren't in the picture lmaoo.

Here's one: for some reason, sibling that either like act complete assholes to each other or are completely dignified when in each other's prescence even though they're meant to be close. This is really nitpicky, but listen. I have an older sister. We call each other bitch all the time but we're pretty close, even though we're practically opposites, lmao.

If there ain't a moment where the siblings argue about sharing food, or making sure 1000% that the thing they're sharing is evenly split to the smallest molecule, that ain't a realistic sibling relationship LMAO

Also get that "adopted siblings ship" outta here even if they're related that shit's CREEPY AS FUCK

[azzy-m]

Godddd, I hate that! Nuance all thrown outta the window when that happens, and it basically says to the audience "they treat you like shit? verbally, mentally and/or physically abuse you? well you're family so you gotta stick with them and if you leave you're an a s s"

[Legendofgenii]

I have a twin and usually someone asks us which is the evil twin...

Plot twist - It's both of us.

EDIT: Oh and "Have you ever swapped husbands for the day without telling them?" Hahahahaha! No FFS!

[domisotto]

Heh, I once dated a boy who was one of the three identical triplets. I could always recognize him even when all three were around.

[frgmnt]

This thread is kind of funny for me because I'm using some of those tropes in my works.
Like, the fact that the MC of my comic never met her bio-mother and is angsty over it is... well, the reason why the whole story happens. I'd say there's justification for it but I've been always worried if it's strong enough for readers to buy into it (before the real spoilery reasons are revealed anyway lol)

Even that old punchline where a kid's parents tell them they're adopted and it's supposedly the cruelest, most callous thing you could say to your child...why?? Adoption is not abnormal; it happens every day (and honestly, needs to happen more). Why do we paint it as some horrible secret, as if it means your family isn't really real...?

That's actually related to a thing that really bothers me: never telling the child they were adopted. They only learn, possibly by accident, and maybe even second-hand, as a teenager or adult. drama ensues
I think the reason it's always portrayed so dramatically is because it's a major breach of trust to hide that forever. Yes of course the adoptive parents are the real parents, and I agree 100% that the importance of biological family is overhyped... But a person who was adopted has a right to know about it and should be given a choice to seek contact with their blood relatives, if they want. If nothing else, it might be important for medical reasons. (Though mundane things like that are rarely portrayed in fiction unless it's some dramatic "my child needs organ transplant!" scenario lol.)

And perhaps the fact that the media enforces this idea that you're less of a woman if you can't have kids and a mother if your child is not yours biologically contributes to this?

It's not even the media as much as it's religion. (the media is this way because it was influenced by conservative/religious values)
In many highly religious cultures, it's believed that a woman's primary, if not only worth is her ability to bear children. So of course a woman who doesn't have them, no matter if it's by choice or not, is seen as having less worth.
Source: I grew up in a very catholic community

I'm using the sibling hatred in my story. Though they aren't blood relatives. The older sister hates that her adopted brother gets more attention from the father so she goes out of her way to make sure the brother knows just how much she dislikes it.

Similar case for me, I have half-sisters in my other WIP who feel extreme hate for each other. Their relationship will eventually get somewhat better though

[ButterflyEmpress]

The snarky smart alec kid They say rude things that would definitely get them grounded, but the parents just shrug their shoulders like there's nothing they can do. Often they are the little one of the family (gotta subvert those tropes hur dur)

Dumb husband/ Smart hot wife Way too overdone. Nowadays the dumb husband doesn't even have any redeeming qualities anymore and the wife is more of a nagging mother

The baby that gets into everything Sometimes just a younger sibling, but it's annoying to watch someone constantly having to protect a baby. It's what turned me off from wanting to see Incredibles 2. Or worse, when the parent refuses to teach them anything, because "they're little, they don't know any better"

The prefect mom Most likely to be dead or have a loose side ponytail if it's an anime. The lead reminisce over how perfect and godly she was. No flaws or mistakes whatsoever. At least in AoT Carla was unsupportive of Eren's goals.

Overworked dad I understand if he's working just to get out of the house, but if he's doing it to keep his family off the street, how is he the bad guy? Also the kids would be so disconnected that they wouldn't even care whether or not he'd show up to their soccer game.

[DiegoPalacios]

But anyway, a trope I dislike.A family complaining because one of the parents (usually the dad) is too invested in work. Like growing up my dad traveled a lot for work and I understood that. He was doing his damndest to make money and support his family. He traveled even more before I was born, and once I got into college he began practically living overseas for his job and I only get to see him maybe twice a year (even before covid)?

Particularly this trope happens in media with upper-middle class families with nice homes and other supportive family members and it's like, jeez, first world problems. xD

I think the concerns and/or complains make more sense when the providing parent doesn't make an effort to be there for their family when it's possible and when they overwork to avoid their family.

While in many cases is understandable that the parent is absent (like travelling overseas for work/business reasons), there are some little things they can do to ocasionally spend time with the family, like doing a videochat or a letter if we are in older times(if the letter fails to reach it's destination is another story). Of course, how much they are able to communicate in this case will depend of the tech available and the resources of the family.

[NickRowler]

Hopefully this one is becoming less prominent

• Kids feeling a sense of crisis or broken because they only have one parent. A lot of the time it tied to gender, a boy missing a dad or a girl missing a mom. A lot of the time it just feels sexist "A father figure wasn't there to teach him to be a man" or "she didn't have a mom to teach her kindness" and that kind of BS. A lot of it feels like it comes from dated views on family structures from people who think a family must have a mom an dad or else it will mess up the kids. I think with the social shift of normalizing same-sex couples and divorce (especially for toxic relationships), this trope will become less common.

[R.n.P]

A dumb dad, I've seen that trope in every single american sitcoms n cartoons that i prefer the more strict, smart n judgemental dad personality, especially since there's a compelling reason behind it like in most animes where the dads are actually important characters n are cool

[DokiDokiTsuna]

The snarky smart alec kid They say rude things that would definitely get them grounded, but the parents just shrug their shoulders like there's nothing they can do. Often they are the little one of the family (gotta subvert those tropes hur dur)

This is a trope? I thought it was just reality (ask anyone in a larger family, the youngest siblings usually get away with the most...)

The baby that gets into everything Sometimes just a younger sibling, but it's annoying to watch someone constantly having to protect a baby. It's what turned me off from wanting to see Incredibles 2. Or worse, when the parent refuses to teach them anything, because "they're little, they don't know any better"

...You know, at first I was thinking 'why would you complain about this; that's what babies do' but honestly I understand.
When I was younger I watched this anime with a magical baby character (Ojamajo Doremi Sharp, if you're wondering) and almost every episode was basically 'UH OH BABY MAKES TROUBLE' and I got so sick of it...a lot of magical baby characters are used like that; the other characters spend half the show chasing them around and after a while it gets tiring and repetitive. T T

[ButterflyEmpress]

I just don't like snarky kids or unwarranted rudeness in general. My younger siblings get away with that behavior, but that's because my parents are too old now.

[spadedigsbutts]

YES THIS. WAS GONNA PUT THIS. I get so mad in movies when someone has the most actually abusive family ever and they never apologize really but because they're all biologically related the main character just gets gaslit into going "this is okay"

[Panpan]

I have to respectfully disagree with a few things that were mentioned.

BUT,

Adoption is a thing. Surrogates are a thing.

Yes, adoption and surrogacy are a thing, but not an option for everyone in real life. Surrogacy and adoption are crazy expensive and not the right route for all circumstances. I do think there could be more stories with surrogacy though.

trope of women being unable to have kids being incomplete or somehow less of a woman.

This hit a very personal note with me as I had issues this year. These are very valid feelings for a woman going through this. It made me question myself, if not every woman who loses a pregnancy/can't get pregnant. This happens everyday. For me though, I don't like it when the side characters pick on the princess or something about not having kids yet even when they just had a wedding a few weeks ago.

the idea that "I have to find my biological parents" when you have a perfectly good adopted family who've loves you since you were a baby.

Again, these are very valid feelings in real life. I know a few people who were adopted and all have said they were curious about their biological parents. Whether it's to find where they come from or for health history, it's so common.

[HGohwell]

I did respond about this above, but to be clear: I have nothing against, nor do I wish to invalidate, people who feel these things in real life. This is about how it is portrayed in fiction. I dislike these tropes in fiction. Of course these are all valid feelings in real life.

However, given that these tropes are incredibly common, they reinforce the idea that this is how one should feel. This is about a fictional trope and not the people who feel these things in real life, and the fact that I would like to see less fiction telling these women they are correct and proper for feeling like they're less because they can't have kids and kids that their parents aren't their real parents and don't matter unless their biological parents, and perhaps more fiction telling women their self worth isn't based on their ability to have children and biology isn't all that makes a family, doesn't invalidate the people who do feel like this. It's a personal preference and if you don't have issues with these tropes, that's fine, but again, this about about tropes in fiction and personal preference and not the people who feel this way in real life.

[Pony_wearing_a_hat]

Oh, no that's great. I should have been more clear, what I hate is siblings who hate each other for no reason other than them being different ages. I actually really like siblings who hate each other for a good reason (which is what your talking about) I was more talking about the depiction of older siblings who would throw their kid sister off a cliff because she dared to get glitter glue on their pants.