Feeling like an imposter

remiquise 2024-12-21 19:24:17 UTC #1

On my old account, I'd delete every comic that hit 1,000 subs. I simply did not feel like I deserved that kind of attention Which, they all did eventually. I'm more okay with getting followers now, so I thought I was over feeling like an imposter.

But alas, as I finally start sharing my writing, that feeling creeped back up.

Last writing group I had brought a scene from a longer story. I always bring parts of stories or short stories, so the group knows my writing style quite well. We usually all get copies of each other's works and go through them, writing on the copies corrections/compliments/whatever else that comes to mind then give them back to the author at the end. But one of the ladies asked if she could keep her copy of mine to try and learn from how I write. I, of course, agreed. Then I watched as the extra copy get snapped up by another since she too wanted to learn from me. Then, after the meeting, one of the members came to me and asked if we could set up a time to meet so I could teach her how I write and help go through her piece-- particularly to help her get descriptions more akin to mine. She's also asked to read by novel (that I have not yet posted), and has brought up how great it is within the meeting plenty-- even when I hadn't even brought that particular story in.

Flattering, I assure you, but these women are highly educated. These woman read so much. And me? I got through Highschool, but that's it. Didn't even get great grades in English. And I never read-- like, maybe I'll pick up a book every 2 or 3 years, but I probably won't get through it. I, simply, do not deserve to be looked up to in this fashion. I really shouldn't be perceived as the... goal? I'm not sure that's the word I want to use here.

My friend suggested that I just found my writing voice quickly, thus instead of spending time learning what my writing voice is I just jumped right into honing it, though I don't think she has any scientific bases for this suggestion, haha.

So, how about you all? Ever feel like an "imposter"? How did or do you deal with such feelings of undeserving?

euphridia 2024-12-21 19:29:09 UTC #2

I wrote a chapter entitled “imposters don’t get imposter syndrome” where the hero meets someone pretending to be her. Because the true imposter knows she’s faking it, she never feels uncomfortable about the title. It’s a little silly (like the rest of my story) but I wrote it so I can refer back to the title.

Check out Book 3: Chapter 13: Imposters Don’t Get Imposter Syndrome from The Last Rae of Hope [Isekai] on Tapas.

cherrystark 2024-12-21 20:27:18 UTC #3

I am going to be blunt here. Get over it. I've always hated the concept of "imposter syndrome" in the art world because it always comes across as a common excuse to halt your own progress while attention-seeking. I am not saying that this is what you are doing, but I've seen "professional' authors pull out that line in other forums when they're trying to toot their own horn.

In your case, give yourself some credit. Having higher education doesn't always equal higher taste. I know plenty of highly educated women who would rather read dime-store romances over classic literature. I know other people who only read classic literature and writers who can't fathom writing anything that isn't set in Regency England. Everyone's tastes are different. I enjoy Middle-Grade Fantasy, true fairytale adaptations, and Christian mysteries/thrillers. Does it mean that all my favorite authors are the absolute best in their craft - no. It just means that they wrote something I like. And the ladies who snapped up copies of your work saw something that they liked. You did the work and deserve any compliments you get, not some imaginary imposter.

I know self-esteem is a tricky beast but you have every right to feel happy. But remember, validation comes from yourself first. There will be times that your work doesn't get any likes, comments, or positive reviews, it doesn't mean your story isn't good and that people aren't liking it.

KevinReijnders 2024-12-21 20:34:42 UTC #4

No need to feel like an imposter, you actually made the things that got popular yourself. It's not like you used AI or something, now that would warrant someone feeling like an imposter, because they would be one

Lensing 2024-12-21 21:05:08 UTC #5

You did the work, enjoy the success

Imposters are imo people who cheat their way to success. Kevin gave a good example

remiquise 2024-12-21 21:29:20 UTC #6

I agree, and as mentioned it is something I've gotten over before and I'll get over it again in time. I'm not super hung up on these feelings at all, I've happily agreed to try and help my fellow writers, I haven't stopped working on the current project, but I do feel my feelings and figured it'd make for an interesting topic is all.

kyupol 2024-12-21 21:34:29 UTC #7

One's skill in writing isn't usually measured by the degree they have on paper. Same with art.

I wish I had $1 everytime I saw someone who had no formal art training mog my art. I had a year of art foundation training and the rest self taught

So don't worry

remiquise 2024-12-21 22:00:21 UTC #8

Oh, I can deal with my feelings and "get over it" as you said, hence having mentioned I had before. It was just something fresh on my mind since it happened this week and thought it an interesting topic to bring up, doing so with my own experience. Talking about feelings-- God forbid, right? Those things folks usually have to work through in time? I don't mean to sound rude, but this is giving off "Just stop being depressed" or "Just don't be anxious" type vibes. It's not helpful.

Besides, the goal for the story I'm working on is to see if I can get it published-- as a book under my real name, not this online alias. Lamenting about how I feel in regards to how this book is perceived by those around me under a forum connected to a whole different name is not going to do it any favors. I've only ever written for myself and in rp docs with friends, heck, the only story I have online is a collection of short stories I post infrequently to the tune of 8 subscribers. Perhaps my point was missed within the webs of the anecdote I brought up, I'm not known to be concise (in fact I'm known to be incredibly wordy), but this is not something I'm torturing myself over. It's just attention and admiration I am both very not used to and feeling very undeserving of. It's quite embarrassing to hear folks talk about all these wonderful books and classes they learned their writing from and the only reply I got being "Well I was a Pokémon RP group and just kinda went from there lol" and then being asked to teach them. That isn't to say it didn't "work" or that it automatically makes me "worse", but feelings are not entirely logical. It's just all very absurd to me.

In fact, thus far this whole topic might have missed my point because I was hoping for other's personal stories, but alas.

remiquise 2024-12-21 22:14:00 UTC #9

Oh, I totally understand that. So many times I've stumbled across beautiful artwork just to be slapped with the fact the artist isn't even out of high school yet, haha. It's just wild being on the "other end" and having that expressed to my face, no less.

skidiggy 2024-12-21 22:28:23 UTC #10

I get the same way about adulting. Like, "am I even qualified to adult?" Most of the time, I press on by identifying that we're all kinda making things up as we go, and there's too much to do to succumb to impostor syndrome. "Writer's block? Self-doubt? Impostor Syndrome? There's no time for that! Be bold, laser-focus, and tally-ho! You got this!"

cherrystark 2024-12-21 22:47:27 UTC #11

You're allowed to express your feelings. You are allowed to talk about hurdles you've had as you write. That was not the point of my comment. I see a lot of writers lingering in the imposter syndrome mindset and treating it as some big monster they have to conquer on their publishing journey. I've literally seen authors treat imposter syndrome like it's a required step and you can't consider yourself a real author unless you've overcome a bout of imposter syndrome.

The point of my blunt statement is that you are completely responsible for how your story goes. You have a bad day, give yourself a break and try again the next day. As long as you give yourself a break every now and then, you can let a lot of stuff go and find contentment with your work.

I DO know what's like to doubt yourself. I struggled for a while in the early stages of writing my main series because it's a series of short stories. I couldn't for the life of me turn it into a full length novel and I caught MAJOR shame for that. It wasn't "true" fantasy for the fantasy nerds so it turned people off and it wasn't futuristic enough to be considered "real" sci-fi. I've been criticized for everything from editing to my storylines. I had to get over it before I could make the leap into publishing. And even too this day, I feel self-conscious trying to build my series and make sales.

Take the good comments and use them for positive momentum. Doubt and comparison happen to everyone in their own way, but if you're happy with what you've made you can keep pushing forward.

AmysGames 2024-12-21 23:38:37 UTC #12

Imagine having impostor syndrome about impostor syndrome

That being said, I definitely feel like impostor syndrome is very common not only among creatives, but among people in general. Like @skidiggy said, I've had plenty of times where I don't feel like a "real" adult due to xyz reasons. I think we all feel like that sometimes, and it can be comforting to remember that we're all really just kind of winging it.

DasIstWunderblyat 2024-12-22 00:21:04 UTC #13

(post withdrawn by author, will be automatically deleted in 24 hours unless flagged)

Leyelle 2024-12-22 12:22:36 UTC #14

I often deal with imposter syndrome too. I think it's fairly common for artist/writers/creators and it can be daunting. Mine hits me the hardest when I'm trying to work with an illustrator because I feel like I have to make sure my story script is good enough so that I don't sabotage them, but it can also come pretty hard when I have really complex or emotional scenes in my novel that I feel like I am not cut out to execute properly. (not a good enough writer to express MY OWN IDEAS...I know, it's nonsense.)

As for whether you're as educated as these women or not, education has nothing to do with it. Writing is art and you can't teach people to be creative. So whether they have more education or not has nothing to do with it. I've never even graduated from high school (at 19, crazy right? I'm in a "developing country") but that doesn't dictate how well I can do at writing because I just practice A LOT. Don't consider your education the standard. It really isn't. I think that misconception is propagated by colleges and universities lol.

So if these women want help from you, take it as a compliment, and try not to have a crisis over it. If they genuinely liked your writing then you earned it right? It's not like you had a ghost writer so you have no reason to feel like you don't deserve the compliments or acknowledgement (though you should probably let those ladies know it's not a great idea to try to replicate anyone's writing style. It will never work out the same way because every creative has a different method of self-expression they just need to unlock.)

Ordinaryaverageguy 2024-12-23 07:11:00 UTC #15

I've heard it said quite a bit recently that, in any discussion or argument, when someone asserts their academic credentials that means they've run out of ideas. The opposite side of that ought to apply here. A shortage of academic credentials certainly does not mean you have no good ideas. Clearly, you do.

I'm going to guess almost all of us will eventually accept the honest judgement of others, if we get lots of negative feedback on our writing &/or illustrations. How much harder is it to accept their judgement when they're complementing the writing & illustrations? It may even come as a surprise to you because you also were falling into that academic accomplishments fallacy.

Tubacabra 2024-12-23 07:14:00 UTC #16

@remiquise Hey girl, totally get it. It's hard when other people put you on a pedestal, because there's always that fear of falling down. But does any of that really matter? In the end, you are the only one with power over your life. The idea of "deserving" this or that is a societal fallacy perpetuated by those who can only dream. Everyone has a different process. You can't judge anyone fairly without a complete understanding of their circumstances, goals, and mindset. This applies doubly when you are judging yourself.

I look around every day and see people my age progressing in life and achieving their goals, and I can't help but compare myself to them. I look back on my life and wonder what I'm actually doing with it. But recently, I've started to realize that life does have meaning. Even if it all seems pointless right now, everything I've experienced until now has helped to make me who I am. I may not have specific defining moments, but I am defined nonetheless.

Sorry. I didn't mean to preach at you, but I just felt like including my two cents. And lastly, a college degree is just a piece of paper. It doesn't tell you anything about a person beyond the fact that they spent an absurd amount of money.

Ordinaryaverageguy 2024-12-23 07:24:00 UTC #17

My bad. I did that, too. Okay... so, I don't have to deal with impostor syndrome about story writing, because I don't get the kind of feedback you're getting. But I do sometimes have it in regards to some other work I do (tech writing, some electronics). It feels like they overestimate my results & I'll have to "dance faster & harder" to justify the praise. I remind myself those are narrow achievements & some luck, too, & accept that they felt good about lifting me up a little, so I try to accept that gift from them with modesty.

ShidoDraws 2024-12-23 11:03:08 UTC #18

People sometimes tell me that I have unique writing ideas and that they would've never thought about writing something like this especially in a very saturated story topic (coughs, fanfiction). Even after that I still feel like my ideas aren't unique and my story, crappy at most.

Eventually I thought about collaborating with a writer to make a webtoon together, we started throwing ideas at each other until we found a story premise we really liked, at least what I liked initially. They like writing romance and I like writing fantasy, high fantasy, modern fantasy, paranormal fantasy, you name it. But the issue I had is I didn't feel like the story we came up with was unique enough, it felt like something someone had already written, from beginning to end. That's when I realized I needed to write a story myself so I can ensure I am writing something I haven't seen/heard. That's when I started writing my comic that I'm working on today.

This still doesn't make me feel like I'm any better at writing a unique story or even a good story. It was so bad that I couldn't even do a collaboration with someone. Took a while but I had to tell myself that no matter what I make someone will probably have the same ideas I have and that would be okay because everyone is different. I look at it this way, when you have different people tell the same story there'll be different themes, different tones and sometimes a completely different story. Knowing this, I felt a little better about the plan that I have set for my series and the series to come. I know that someday someone might have similar ideas to my conceptual stories before I even release it and that would be okay. I just hope everyone enjoys what they write and that's all that matters even if they feel like their story might still be literal crap. Lol

Also, I still can't collaborate with someone, but I've at least acknowledged that I may not be able to, ever. I guess I'm more of a solo writer and that's okay with me.

remiquise 2024-12-23 15:05:23 UTC #19

Oh I totally get the feeling as if you have to "dance faster & harder" part! It can be super hard to accept your work is actually enough, for sure. Learning to accept it is really for the best; lest you burn yourself out.

remiquise 2024-12-23 15:25:51 UTC #20

Collaborations are very, very difficult. I know what isn't the main point of what you said, but I get it. I, personally, just do not play nice with others. Or perhaps others just don't play by my rules. Regardless, I totally get how they feel like they just sap creativity and uniqueness. My friend and I try all the time to colab and, well, let's just say I typically write horror or very heavy stuff if left to my own devices and she writes romance adventure. And I did not take well to her always pushing "love fan fix everything" and happily ever afters. I just grew into a person I didn't like-- sabotaging projects because she wouldn't ever listen and just push what she wanted while I already caved to so many demands, including writing a genre I didnt typically bother with on my own. All that to say, you're not missing out on much.