I know the trope was extremely popular a couple years back (and still is, to an extent-- at the very least, it's a mainstay of fiction at this point)...but do you still like it, or has the novelty worn off for you? ^^; Let's take a vote:
So I'm honestly leaning towards Nay...I don't really want to; I don't care that much about this trope in the grand scheme of things, but I have to admit that it's usually an instant turn-off when I hear that another writer is using it. Mostly because its applications, even outside of fanworks, tend to be very...vapid. Often it simply amounts to placing characters into traditional nuclear family roles and expecting the reader to be instantly impressed and endeared by how well they fit into them.
"This older male character is such a Dad, omg <3 !!! This older female character (or heck, an intelligent female character of ANY age; hello adultification of girls, how are ya) is SUCH a Mom; omgomg <3 !!!"
And any characters who are left are simply assigned the role of children. Especially if they're neurodivergent, and/or have a generally positive/enthusiastic outlook on life. They're immediately reduced to 'sweet summer children' or 'chaos gremlins' who need to be corralled and controlled and have their agency taken from them for the sake of comedy.
And I'm not saying ^that just to be dramatic; that's literally the point of so many jokes concerning these types of characters. The 'Mom' or the 'Dad' characters taking dangerous items away from them, physically removing them from confrontations, telling them 'No! Bad!', literally putting leashes on them, etc.
Yeah, it was funny the first few dozen times...but now that we're on Infantilization Joke #1,233,897, I'm thinking hey, y'know, maybe...we should start to examine this. =/
Basically, I think this type of take on the 'found family' isn't necessarily harmful or immoral, but it IS limiting, and often discloses biases and preconceptions that are hard to unsee. Why is a man who even just tolerates the presence of the other characters automatically a dad? Why is any character with a hopeful attitude or an even slightly unique personality considered a child? WHY IS THE GIRL CHARACTER ALWAYS A MOM?
Even when writers break away from overtly gendered dynamics, there's usually a sharp distinction between parent and child, carer and cared-for; characters who should be viewed as mature adults no matter how young they are and characters who should be viewed as irresponsible babies no matter how old they are.
And at a certain point, this starts to bleed into how the characters are written...with, at best, logic-bending results. All of a sudden, I'm expected to be upset with a character standing up for themselves, not because they're wrong, but because they're the designated 'child', and if they ever disagree with their 'parent friends' it automatically implies they're endangering themselves or not thinking things through, and I should view their actions in that light.
Or, all of a sudden, I'm expected to be happy that a character has lost their more unique and active character traits, because they're 'settling down' and 'becoming a role model', which is synonymous with not having any relevance or personality anymore, apparently. Honestly, it makes sense: writers of fiction often view parents as obstacles to story progression; that's why they're so often written out or killed off. So it follows that the ideal 'parent friend' would lose their presence in the story as they sink deeper into that role, instead relegated to a background support role for the 'child friend(s)'. T_T
BUT, all of that is just how 'found family' gets used wrong...what about when it's used right?? As a symbol of safety and camaraderie and forging deep, enduring relationships with the people you choose, rather than the people you're born with?
...I kinda don't care? ^^;
It doesn't really appeal to me in any significant way...I still use it, definitely, but I tend to focus more on the "found" part than the "family" part.
Basically, in my eyes a good 'found family' is indistinguishable from any organic group friendship without that label. It's a useful framework for friendships between people of radically different ages, and I do have to acknowledge that it's very natural for characters to see such friendships as familial bonds, especially when they have recently lost similar ones...but that's about as far as I tend to consider it.
Sometimes a young character really misses their dad, and sees an older male character as their new dad...but sometimes they just see them as a teacher, or an aspirational figure, or even a rival. Or in many cases, all of these things at once. Rather than setting out to write a father-son relationship that just happens to be a friendship, I usually set out to write a friendship that just happens to be a father-son relationship, and so on and so forth for the other family dynamics.
In the one story I've written that would fit most neatly into this trope, I've definitely managed to avoid the most obvious characterizations: the 'dad character' seems stoic and responsible, but is actually very sensitive and often shies away from taking charge unless he's directly confronted with a problem. The 'mom character' seems naturally caring and kind, but clearly puts a lot of effort into managing people and trying to keep the peace, to the point of hiding her emotions and feeling shame for even having them.
And the 'child characters' may seem like a bunch of comic-relief fun-time goofs, but rapidly gain emotional depth as the story goes on, revealing flaws and fears as they struggle with the idea of 'growing up'; making their own decisions, solving their own problems. Not just in the typical "let me do this by myself" way, but in a "I'm doing this by myself whether I want to or not, because this is my life and I have to make these decisions now, and I'm actually kinda scared" way. Which is largely under-explored, imo.
And yet, I didn't really do ^that on purpose, to be honest. ^^; I wasn't trying to subvert 'found family' dynamic tropes; I was just trying to flesh out the character arcs...which naturally lent itself to subverting tropes, by preventing the characters from being one-dimensional stereotypes. Which in turn, prevented them from having predictable interactions with each other, despite viewing themselves as a family unit.
...That was a very long-winded way to say "nay, IDC". ^^; But anyway, what do you all think? Are you into found family, reading or writing it? Do you agree with my definitions of found family, or any of my observations about its use? And if not, how do you define it??
