In the past, when I've had art troubles, I would turn to this forum to ask for help/advice. The same thing is happening here, but it's something less simple than all my other problems.
For the longest time, I've been attempting to work on a comic that I wanted (and still want) to do. The problem is that I haven't been working on it as much as I would like. At first, I thought it was because of a lack of motivation or pure laziness on my part, and I think those may only be part of the issue. "I want to work on the comic." I keep telling myself that among other things, so I clearly have some motivation. While I thought for a while it was laziness, it wasn't until I did actually draw the pages where I realized the first half of my problem:
"I hate the way this page looks."
"I hate the way ALL these pages look."
I've gotten advice in the past along the lines of "you should publish the comic anyway regardless of how the art looks", and I admit, it's good advice. But, I'm sorry, I just can't follow it. These pages feel so lacking in effort and detail, I just can't bear to show them. And this isn't the first time this has happened either. This is my second attempt at working on this first chapter alone. The first time I did it, I actually finished all the pages, but I hated the way they looked and read. So I tried again, and I'm having the same problem here with both the art, as well as the writing in some cases.
"I'm better than this."
"This looks like I didn't put any effort into it."
"If I actually tried, I could make this looks so much better."
And it's this line of thinking that carries over into the second half of my problem, which only discovered by watching a video on a somewhat related topic.
Yesterday, I saw I video about a manga called Blue Period. It's about a high school student deciding to become an artist, and deals with the struggles of learning to become one. The video was an analysis of how the series dealt with the concepts of "talent" and "hard work" when learning art.
The reason I bring up this video or the manga is that while I was watching, there was a panel shown on screen that got my attention. I paused the video, read the dialogue, and that's when it hit me:
This is what the other part of my problem is. I haven't read this manga or seen the recent anime of it, so I don't have context for this scene, but it's those words that make it clear to me that this is the other part of my issue, and I know why.
I'm scared to draw because I'm scared of not creating something I like, not improving, and not living up to the standards I'm placing on myself.
I think it's clear to me that I've put a lot of pressure on myself to measure up to the artists I admire.
"I should be at their level."
"I should draw the things they can, and as easily as they can."
And it's this kind of my pressure that is making me afraid to draw. I'm scared that no matter what I create, I'm going to think that it should be better, even if it is a good drawing. In the case of the comic pages, I do honestly think they could have more effort, but for all the other drawings I've done as of late, I can't go a single one without finding so many things wrong with it and being overly critical about it.
I'm sorry that this has been a lot to read, or if it feels like I'm venting, but this is a serious problem that I don't know how to fix.
I could continue trying to improve, but I know I'm gonna hate what I create. If I do nothing, then I definitely won't improve, and nothing will be solved.
So, to those of you who have been through or are going through the same thing I am, tell me, what should I do?