How do you handle the pressure you put on yourself?

aqua03 2020-09-04 03:46:38 UTC #1

So I was chatting with a friend this morning about Drachenseele and he recommended I finally bite the bullet and work on Drachenseele in the form of sketching out a simple storyboard that I didn't share with anyone in order to finally have some form of visible product out in front of me that I can look at and reiterate upon and improve going forward as I worked on it more and more now knowing that I've finally got the ball rolling with something small like those simple storyboards and sketches so I can see what my limits are and how to play to my strengths and fix my flaws if that makes sense. Much in the same way you learn to ride a bike almost as he compared it. "Better to be wrong and fix it than to never start because you're afraid of mistakes" to quote him in regards to iterating on his own work until it was satisfactory for himself. No reason why I can't treat Drachenseele and the Dragoons gang like a learning process like my previous comic projects EGT, ALpha ALpaca, and Sorrel's Quest (The one shot I made for the Tezuka Contest) as opposed to a masterpiece like it sometimes feels like I should be making with Drachenseele.

Now that was a mindset I 110% completely agreed with and it lit a fire under me unlike anything I had ever felt for the DRagoons gang before. So I grabbed my pen, opened up Photoshop, and....

......I couldn't do it.

I nearly cried. I couldn't bring myself to draw even a simple sketch of my story even though I knew I wouldn't have to show it to anyone but myself and all that previously mentioned stuff as well. All the creative insecurities and expectations i subconsciously have had with these characters and their story since their conception back in 2011 caused me to just crack under all that pressure.

Even though I've conquered so many hurdles with those characters and have changed a lot since I've started as a writer and do 100% have the mindset of trying to view Drachenseele/Whatever project the Dragoons get involved in the same way I've viewed my other projects as a fun learning experience as opposed to the "11/10 masterpiece even better than Knack 3D Featuring Gex from Giraffe of Us 2" like I originally envisioned it as back when I was 14, but for whatever reason that subconscious pressure and expectation keeps crushing me with those characters.

I'm not sure why that pressure keeps creeping into the Dragoons or Drachenseele every time I work on them in some capacity despite that I've accepted that it's not perfect and I should treat it as just something fun like my last comic projects as well. I wish I knew the source so I could finally crush it. (Maybe it has something to do with my original desire to make a "People Pleasing Successor to Bionicle" when I first created the characters back in 2011.)

Have any of you ever suffered from that struggle? How have you guys dealt with that or a similar feeling?

Thanks again for the help guys. It really means a lot to me to have you guys to help and support me with these creative problems.

kmlangleyauthor 2020-09-04 04:29:02 UTC #2

95% of the time, we put more pressure on ourselves than anyone else will ever put on us it’s so hard to attempt to live up to our own expectations. I honestly don’t have anything to tell you to help.

Let me just share one little thing. You’ve heard of flow state? I think most people have hit their flow doing something at one point or another. Runners’ high is what I always heard about growing up, but there’s definitely a sweet spot for creative endeavors, as well. I watched a TedTalk by Josie Lewis (an artist) and she mentioned that scientists have done studies on brains and flow state. And when people are asked “how much effort do you think you need to use to achieve flow state?” most people were guessing 50%, 70%, 95% etc. BUT. It turns out, to achieve flow, you need to be at 4% effort.

4% - - - FOUR PERCENT

So, obviously, to push ourselves and learn new things, etc., we’ll be going above that 4% mark, but we don’t have to be doing 90% effort to achieve amazing things. That can happen at 8 or 10% effort

Anyway, I realize that might not have been helpful AT ALL, but maybe it’s a good way to reframe your project? Also, I really struggle with looking at long-term, full-spectrum projects. I have to look at the first tiny chunk and pretend the rest doesn’t exist or else I’ll freak out and never start.

AmazementComics 2020-09-04 04:37:47 UTC #3

Okay. Don't take any of this the wrong way, but you've been posting threads like this for a bit of time now. So i'm going to add my two cents to do what I can to help you out with two possible options:

1. TAKE A LONG, LONG BREAK.

This might seem counter-intuitive to what your friend said about getting started with your project on the spot, but sometimes you just need to completely clear your head of any ambitious projects and maybe pick up on another hobby in the meantime. If it means postponing Drachenseele for six months, a year, whatever, you need to make sure that you're not putting your eggs in one basket, which in turn, makes you ridiculously tired of anything your passionate about. Personally, I find it helps to do something else entirely out of the "arts and entertainment" arena such as fishing, sports, maybe creating a small business to gain fresh concepts about life outside of art that I can revisit later and incorporate into my works when the time is appropriate for me. I'm pretty sure that if you take some time for yourself, your audience will still be waiting for your next project, and will probably anticipate it even more.

2. YOU REALLY GOT TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER POPULAR WORKS, SERIOUSLY...

I get it. We all have our favorite franchises we in some form or fashion want our works to live up to. So we set the bar high (which isn't a bad thing), only realize expectation doesn't always equal reality. So here's a thought: who really cares? I see you trying to compare your works to Bionicle and Knack 3D, but why not start from the ground up and see where it takes you? Obviously you know the folks that created such works didn't get successful overnight. I'm pretty sure some of their early concepts were dumpster fire, and they had reasons for wanting to throw in the towel, but they didn't, and it worked out for the better.

If creating Drachenseele is really what you want to do, and you're willing to go the distance of making it 100%, you first need to realize that "You are not them" nor should you want to. This field is far too competitive and if you allow your mind to be overwhelmed, always checking the web to see "who did your idea better", you're not going to get anywhere. That's just what it is.There will always be someone who has your same concept, but had a little more success with it. So what? Good for them. Maybe it isn't as glorious as you wanted it to be, well don't hide it, let others be the judge of that.

And remember the famous quote “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.”

rajillustration 2020-09-04 04:46:08 UTC #4

This is just an idea, but you know how people draw like...fanart that is clearly secretly their OC? That they're too afraid to draw/afraid to be judged by/afraid to do poorly at drawing their OC so they draw Link but he's like...a completely different person?

So...what if you did a draft where drew a storyboard of Drachenseele but it was all Muppets? It's just a sketch anyway that no ones gonna look at it and get confused, right? And you know who they're supposed to be. Then later, when the dust settles and you feel better--just change those Kermits into your OCs.

(not saying I've never done this with my own stories, but I aaaabsolutely have. It's really freeing to work with fanart, it's sort of difficult to work with OC's sometimes because we hold our own original content to higher arty expectations. Like I follow this one artist who only draws Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy, but they've done it for so long that now it's...very much OC wish fullfillment. They've drawn Jack Frost and the Tooth Fairy in a nightclub, a bakery, and more recently, pooping on two separate toilets. Not many people can draw their favorite romance OC's pooping on two toilets in the same bathroom while looking at eachother. And few can draw it as well as this particular artist did (it was very impressive! For so many reasons!) But you can, if it's Jack Frost.)

And like sometimes it is hard to draw when there's a lot of anxiety around a particular project. I've never had a personal project give me that much anxiety, but when I do have a hard time getting my pen to the tablet, I...stop drawing. Sometimes you need a break. Sometimes you need a break for a while from a project that may have some heebie-jeebies attached. I got a comic I started eons ago, and it broke in a nasty way--I lost like...over 2/3ds of the initial comic. It's a hot mess in it's current form because of it. I don't really think I'll ever go back to it because...that frustration comes back.

It takes time to let go of whatever we consider a "failure" (which it's not) but luckily we do more than just one project. I am very, very thankful I took those years off (It's been 5 years since). And the time I've spent away from that particular project I've spent getting much better at storytelling doing different things. When the North wind blows the right way through the trees, I'll know when I'm ready to start that project again. But it's not today.

You're gonna live a long time, and if you can't draw Drachenseele today...maybe you can do it later?

WisdomChimp 2020-09-04 04:52:09 UTC #5

I just stream my stuff on discord art servers. Seems like a simple answer but that's just cause i don't know exactly why it helps. I just put my stuff in front of an audience and essentially i try to get stuff done so the people can always see me engaging. I've only done this recently and so far, the doubt has kinda slipped away. The hardest part is starting but even that doesn't seem to be an issue.

For so long i was sure of myself but the doubt kept me from pursuing anything. Now with the pieces there, all i need is that push to keep me going.

CosmicLeon 2020-09-04 07:19:07 UTC #6

well i have worked at the 110% fuel before, when i was working two jobs and going to school full time. Its amazing what you can do. I know that feeling. efficiency but i think that you might just be mentally tired. take a break and come back to it. (don't take too long of a break)

i quite one job and I ended up taking about 2 weeks off to just relax, which is hard when you are in the 110% mindset. if you have your thumbnail sketches done, take a break. reward yourself. honestly, self reward goes along way. now I feel like a struggle with initiative, as i lost my other job due to the pandemic. when you break that cycle of work-work-work you feel a little.... slow. i guess. the way i deal with this is I i create a weekly list of things i want to accomplish, and mark them off. like: ink 5 pages. I will have a box for complete the whole task, and 5 smaller boxes to mark off as i go. sometimes seeing your progress motivates you to continue forward. Another thing you can try is breaking up your work flow. I find that it can be daunting to draw 25 pages, tone 25 page, and etc... at once, so i break it up. maybe i'll draw 4 pages, ink 2, and tone 1. or i just write my script all day. it really depends on how i feel, but changing up what you are doing can help too.

CosmicLeon 2020-09-04 07:26:27 UTC #7

I agree. its interesting how when you have less time, you can output higher. hobbies are great stress relievers. And breaking your project into smaller parts can also ease the stress. you need to balance stress, and output.

joannekwan 2020-09-04 07:40:40 UTC #8

If it's not fun, and it's low-key harming your mental well-being: STEP AWAY FROM IT

People have stepped away from more important things like careers! They get an incredible amount of stress put on them and decide NO MORE, their health suffers, their mental health suffers, it's not worth a great paycheck if you're ill and cannot work in any capacity.

This story is not paying your bills, you don't have to go through with it, you have no obligation to engage in this thing that is sucking the joy from you.

Currently you're enamored with the idea of what it could be, but without a solid plan, it could become anything, it could even turn into something you hate.
You say your original idea was to make it a successor to Bionicle. But first you have to identify what made Bionicle so great, what it did to resonate with people, with YOU. Don't start with drawing, start with plotting and writing. Make an outline or write out little scenes, see if it captures YOUR interest. Don't think about what other people will say about it.

Personally I don't put any pressure on myself except to finish a story once it's started and there's a lot of engagement. But still I'm pretty lax about it. If I'm not feeling well, yeah I'll miss some updates. Or if I truly come to hate it, I might drop it (hasn't happened yet). I'm not contracted with another party to produce this stuff.

Also I know none of the things I create will be perfect. And I don't view any of them as a masterpiece. They're just fun things I indulge in. I'll always have more ideas. Some fizzle out, some stay on the back-burner forever, some get enough creative inspiration to spur me into actualizing them into a comic or novel for others to see. I've only got so much time on this earth, I have to prioritize things that I know I can realistically accomplish without compromising my health or sanity.

malwdark 2020-09-04 08:07:53 UTC #9

I'm done with putting pressure. Making something from start to finish is already more than most people achieve, so thats good enough.
If feeling too much presure, just remmember Nobody cares how much you bleed over something, put your healt first.

aqua03 2020-09-04 17:27:06 UTC #10

Thanks guys for all the advice and help. it really means a lot to me. I just kinda feel stuck between a rock and a hard place with the Dragoons because I do genuinely love them and want to make a comic about them, but for whatever reason I just can't.

Maybe it would be good idea to sketch things out and let myself cry. maybe that would finally help me release my feelings and see how that helps. I'm not sure.

Wocalich 2020-09-04 17:27:46 UTC #11

Definitely, cry if you feel like crying

aqua03 2020-09-04 17:35:36 UTC #12

Thanks. Yeah, I think that might be the good emotional release I've been needing for a while now actually.

Wocalich 2020-09-04 17:36:53 UTC #13

Time to sketch then

You could also try writing a script before you start sketching. Then again, if that's not the way you work feel free to ignore my advice

DiegoPalacios 2020-09-04 17:43:12 UTC #14

As someone who started publishing online what i considered at the time as one of my magnum opus......

Remember that what becomes your masterpiece is not set in stone. You may love your current project and that`s cool, but maybe in the future you will do something even better.

When you stop seeing your current work as your "ceiling" you will stop putting unneccesary pressure on yourself.

dewarcomics 2020-09-04 18:01:25 UTC #15

When I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself I remind myself that just cause my expectations are up there. I have to remember that I got to pay my dues and work my way up so I can have the skills and experience that meets my own expectations.

Accept that you will make imperfect works. and once you do that, Embrace it! Heh! Heh! Heh! One of my mottos is too make as many mistakes as you can now so you can get it out of the way and learn faster.

I noticed that you said when drawing something that only yourself will see. Try drawing with no expectations. A doodle of nothing in perticular. The Goal: don't think about it and just have fun, doesn't have too look good (or look like anything). re connect why you enjoyed drawing in the first place. Drawing for the sake of Drawing itself.

We all want to beat the final boss, but we all have to grind to get there.

aqua03 2020-09-04 18:40:07 UTC #16

Heh.

I think that seems to be the biggest problem I have, I subconsciously feel that the DRagoons gang is my ceiling and that I'll hit my peak with that and it;'s all downhill from there. I have no idea where it came from, but it just feels like that's what's been stopping me all these years from really going after my passion like some form of mental ceiling of sorts.

part of me just worries about disappointing my fiends and supporters for some reason with my stuff, too as well the more that I think of it.

Wocalich 2020-09-04 18:42:39 UTC #17

They like your stuff because you're the one who makes them. They won't be disappointed with something you give your all into

aqua03 2020-09-04 18:49:24 UTC #18

That's actually really helpful for me to hear. I really needed to hear that right now. Thank you so much for saying that.

Wocalich 2020-09-04 18:50:22 UTC #19

I'm glad to hear that, no need to thank me

DiegoPalacios 2020-09-04 18:52:09 UTC #20

I will tell you a secret......there is no ceiling. As long as you are willing to improve and practice, your capabilities will increase.

A trick that helped me to overcome these worries was to understand that different works appeal to different audiences. Even a genuinely amazing story will not be everyone's cup of tea.