How often do you think of giving up?

Well, I think a lot has already been said, but I'm going to add on to what everyone else has already said anyway - yes, of course I feel like giving up. Like, at least once a week. Sometimes more. And sure, sometimes less.

To add with my own personal experiences --

I will be 30 years old in just a few short months, so that's got me really thinking about life a lot more lately, especially with my writing.

Sure, I can sit here and tell you I've been writing stories since I picked up a pencil. But taking my writing seriously as a career really came around in high school. And I went to college for writing. Twice. Got my Master's. A lot of money in debt and no end in sight.

I wrote my first serious novel when I was around... 18? Plus or minus a couple years. It started as a screenplay, which in a few years, I turned into a short story, then a novella, which I then had published through an indie publisher. Which would have been exciting - woo, accomplishing my dreams! - but the only people who bought it were my parents. A few months later, the publisher broke off their contract with Amazon or something and the book was removed.

I took the opportunity to rewrite it, turning it into a novel at almost 100k words. I wrote a sequel. A prequel. A spin off series taking place in the future. And two other books that would make it a full series. I approached publishing companies, then agents, and got rejection after rejection after rejection. I started to post it anywhere I could, trying all the different platforms. Fictionate, Fictionpress, WattPad, and yup, now, for some unholy reason, I decided to try here on Tapas, too. I even started to reach out to book stores in my area for exposure.

I made business cards, promo materials, and I found a local group that promotes indie authors. They hosted events all over, so I purchased tables, attend events, walked around and talked to other authors (as an introvert, this was huge for me!! Wouldn't have been able to do it without my family and my husband at my side). I attended readings, expos, even presentations by other local authors who have talked about their experiences and shared their expertise. I sold a few books - barely enough to cover my costs. I met some great people who I still talk to, and we pass our books around amongst each other, write each other reviews, etc.

I got serious into social media - created a website, a newsletter, even purchased advertising. I tried Patreon. I even tried to create an indie blog that focused on helping out indie authors promote their books.

Then I decided to rewrite the entire novel, because in those 10 years, my voice has changed a lot, and I no longer feel that it accurately shows my ability as a writer. I cringe when I read it.

Takes a deep breath Now my novel is sitting, half rewritten, in my folders on my computer collecting dust because I'm just tired.

All that being said... Is it because I wasn't extroverted enough? No, I don't think so. I put myself out there in every way I could think of. Is it because I'm not good at marketing? Shrug. I made some really cool posters, business cards, advertised anywhere I could. Is my story not as good as I think it is? Eh. Of all the reasons as to why it's not working out, I don't necessarily feel this last one is a real reason. I mean, with all the people in this world, there's something for everyone. I just haven't been able to connect with those people yet. Or, that's what I tell myself, anyway.

Is it happening as fast as I want it to? God, no. I really thought by 30, I would have my novel published. I never expected to be the next JK Rowling. But a damn ISBN would be nice. (Okay, I know it's easy enough to get that these days on Amazon or Lulu lol). The point is, I didn't want to go the self published route. I wanted the 'legitimacy' of a publisher and an agent. I thought, if I could at the very least nail down an agent, I would look legit. If I could just get that one person to notice me, everything else would fall into place. An agent meant publishers would take me seriously. A publisher meant the world would take me seriously. I wouldn't be just another nobody who put their book on Amazon because anyone can these days.

That was an older opinion of mine. One that has changed over the years. I mean, it's freaking 2021. Websites like Tapas and Webtoons - websites I used to stick my nose up at because I thought they were beneath me - they've offered more for their artists than I ever thought possible. And we're really in a golden age of media. I mean, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, etc - all these places are creating their own shows and movies, and they're even making deals with some of these websites!

Okay, yeah, shut up, that's all well and good, but it's still not happening for me, or you, or any of us here in this thread. And my reply here has turned into a huge rambling tangent. I guess what I'm trying to say is a few things.

1 -- you're not alone!
2 -- it's okay to feel like giving up
3 -- but that being said, if this is truly the life you choose, you have to come to terms that nothing in this line of work is going to happen the way you want it to, at the speed you want it to.

To add a small light at the end of the tunnel that is my story - its been a long time. I've tried a lot of different things. But the thing is, I kept trying. I gave myself the days I needed to feel defeated, and then I picked myself up again and got back on the horse. Even if I just needed to take a break and work on something new or different to get excited again. I kept looking online, I kept searching for events, I kept reaching out to people. Yes, it's tedious. It's heart breaking. It's exhausting.

But one of these days, something will come out of your efforts. Maybe, just maybe, that has happened for me. It's still too early to tell... but things are promising. And I never would have found the lead I found if I didn't keep trying.

There's a post I saw recently, and I think it's worth sharing here (you know, just to make my ridiculously long reply even longer...)

Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow.

Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it.

Never tell yourself you missed your chance.

Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough.

You can do it. Whatever it is.

How are you feeling these days? Anything you can do to sort of refresh yourself? I find a hot, fragrant shower helps me out of a bad funk sometimes.

Meanwhile, I think about giving up a lot because I'm soooooo slowwwwwww, and my art isn't that great yet. I'm hoping a miracle is going to befall me where my backgrounds and anatomy suddenly improve, but the main thing that holds me up is more to do with the fact that finishing a page feels like a MASSIVE accomplishment, and sometimes I wonder, "that's not fair to my viewers".

I'm also getting really worried about not even realizing something I write about needed a sensitivity reader and coming up with something problematic. It's something that holds back a lot of plot points in my story - this fear of hecking up and unknowingly writing about something I shouldn't. :< Makes me wanna just quit while I'm ahead and haven't written about it lol.

More so than giving up, I constantly wanna start over because I'm never satisfied with how a chapter turns out and feel guilty somehow

It's difficult for me to keep up long running plot threads, everytime I think of including one there is strange sense of guilt that's towering over me saying "why aren't you working on it right now? The thread is still going, you're going to leave people confused if you don't explain it already! Write more you lazy dickhole!"

The anxiety struggle is real yo, but this is the path I've chosen and I promised myself to make it worth the ride

To all of you who thought about giving up, kudos for not

About once or twice a day when I am stressed. And a good week about once or twice a week. XD
Writing is hard.

lately a lot, depression is giving me massive writers block and my art tablet died
And it really feels like no one's interested in my story sometimes. I know it's niche and still new but gosh its still going slower than others comparatively which is really demotivating.

I'm just glad I have a 6 chapter backlog so I'll be able to get back on my feet without a haitus or anything.

Very, very often.
I suffer from pretty severe chronic depression so it's almost a daily thing.

In fact, I've given up a few times, but whenever I do, I end up even more miserable.
Making comics is the 1 thing that keeps me from tipping over the edge.

I still get overwhelmed and want to disappear off the the face of the Earth.
When that happens, I use the 3 day rule.
I give myself 3 days before making any major decision.
I also get help from readers, fans and friends. This has helped a lot too.
I've been running my current project for six years now, my longest project ever.

For drawing and producing my comic? Usually I don't; do I get demotivated or feel a little imposter syndrome here and there yeah but giving up entirely? No just because I use art as a escape from just everyday life so it acts sort of a reliever and not a stressor.

Of course everyone sees it different and I'm sorry you feel that way, It's alright to take a break now and again

It's actually a suicide prevention tool, but I found it works pretty well for a lot of things you feel like doing on impulse.

Good to know! Impulsivity is real and a real problem. Even little stuff, like quitting dumb assignments or putting off chores.

Totally! It's a really good tool to keep you on track.

I did give up. I have been drawing and publishing my comics in some form or another since 1997. But after failing to get syndicated, I quit in 2006. I figured it was time to move on and grow up.

I restarted in 2015. Once you have quit once, you don't feel like quitting again.

At least once a day.

Continually...

The gaps between those thoughts are getting smaller, while the ones between actual writing seem to be getting bigger...

I'll put it this way, "more and more".

Lol yeah a lot Hobby hard...