I feel like enemies to lovers is often not done well

I plan to do this in my current comic, it hasn't progressed a lot so far but I'm fine with that. They talk atleast. And it's moreso some rash decisions and stupidity that made them hold grudges against each other.

I agree with the points you listed, it has to be a good reason for them to have a grudge against each other but not something unforgiveable like killing loved ones.They have to be able to forgive each other after all and having them forgive over something stupid and non lethal they did is much easier in my opinion.

Rise of Skywalker was funny when they tried to please Rey x Kylo Ren people only for the audience to realize later on that they're DISTANT COUSINS.

Never make fan ships canon people (unless it was already planned).

Um...are you sure about that? My recollection was that Kylo Ren was a Skywalker and Rey was a Palpatine - I don't recall there being any familial link between them.

Or, you could just use hypnosis. Just sayin'.

Removing my tongue from my cheek, this is all very well said, and I would add that most of this goes for ANY romantic relationship in fiction. It should never feel like the couple got together because the story said they did.

(The one that really got me was the romance between Bond and Natalya Simonova in Goldeneye. She falls in love with him after watching him mow down DOZENS of her countrymen. Now, I'll grant that they were trying to escape at the time, but she's still watching him murder people. Only in fiction is this considered something a normal person would fall in love with after seeing. That said, lots of credit to Guns Akimbo for giving us this: https://youtu.be/KfWDnXAApW0?t=3261)

Nothing else to add, aside from the fact that despite their initial situation, they need to be compatible in some way and have some chemistry.......

If their values clash way too much chances are that this is not gonna be a healthy relationship......

Without enough chemistry, why would they spend more time together than necessary?, if they don't have anything positive that connects them in a meaningful way, why would they date or even befriend each other?.

Gotta say it's a tricky trope to pull off, but if the goal is a healthy relationship, there are tricks to make the transition from enemies to lovers more believable.

Personally i think something gradual like these steps can work:
1-characters start off as enemies
2-they grow into some unspoken respect, be it as worthy opponents, or some common ground or a mix of both.
3-they reach a condition when they can reach some truces, like not involving each other's loved ones or working together against a bigger threat among others.
4-They may get along well enough despite the antagonist for both of them to gradually realize that they would be friends under other circumstances.
5-One of them switches teams or they both leave their teams and reasons to become antagonists.
6-Without the logistical animosity and reasons to be enemies, they naturally grow into a friendship with a strong chemistry
7-As they become closer, they realize this bond may become stronger than they thought, and start dating
8-after enough time and experiences together, their relationship becomes official.

Of course, with shorter stories this transition may be faster, specially if their reason to be antagonistic towards each other is nothing too serious (like competing in different teams in a sport).

But this is one of those tropes that are tricky to pull of if the writer doesn't know what they are doing.

Gawwwddd preach! I do love this trope, but ain't nothing more jarring than seeing two folks spit venom at each other and literally make each other miserable just getting over the animosity within the span of a finger's width without anything actually changing between them or the, on a rarer note, valid reason for animosity gets glimpsed over (like what a waste of good material to draw out a journey of discovery :V.

For real though it's wild to be reading enemies to lovers and the thing that made them not like each other is super pedantic, even that can be worked on if we get some good development over time, but if I'm all likkeeee where's the incident that made them see each other different? Where are the new sides being revealed to clarify things between them? No conflict that they need to work together to figure out? No awkward middle ground where they feel conflicted about changing thoughts? Just ahh for some reason we are meant to be so why fight it...even if they literally hated each other, that's the last chapter's problem. We have a heat in our loins that forgives all. Like way to kill the catharsis that was building...

For sure animal attraction is legit and all, but if y'all really enemies ain't no way them issues gonna be solved overnight. Imma need that awkward middle ground and time to pass so the changes can sink in and morph offer time. Like a time skip can work, but I just feel it takes time for mindsets to grow and change when y'all been at each other's throats for who knows how long. Shoot, for me, if enemies to lovers don't have slow burn in it, it just don't seem right. Seeing the journey of how the venom stings turn into a panacea they rub on each other for some sensual healing is so dang satisfying.

Thinking back to my fav examples of this trope, Usually, one charter was at least aware of their attraction, but couldn't face it ie. Simon Snow Trilogy, or Love Hate and Clickbait, but when they both have equal levels of irritation for each other that over time soften and then more happens, talk about a GYAHHH moment haha. Forsaken Fae trilogy is the first that comes to mind. Talk about a slow burn boo, they made me wait till book 3, but I loved the struggle of getting there.

Shoot I should put my fav enemies to lovers reads in a list. What are some of your fave enemies to lovers? I'm open to comics and book recs always haha!

I think the reason a lot of 'enemies to lovers' storylines aren't done well is because many people don't think that hard about it, unfortunately. ^^; They just want the drama of "Oooh, they hate each other! But they're also IN LOVE" and don't care what they have to do to make it happen. Bonus points if they're also clinging to the old "abuse is sexy" tropes...

Anyway, as it happens, I've been recently working on an 'enemies to lovers' relationship in one of my own stories, so this has been on my mind. ^^ Only the relationship in my story is actually toxic, and I think Point #4 is the main factor that makes it so.

All throughout the story, MC's friends are like 'just stay away from Villain-Guy; he's literally a serial killer' and not only does MC not listen to them, he never really asks him about it. They never have the 'so...how many people have you murdered...?' conversation. ^^; Partly because MC is too focused on his own guilt, and partly because I think asking that would force him to admit that getting Villain-Guy to forgive him won't magically 'redeem' him-- he has a whole host of other problems that extend beyond their relationship.

And on the other hand, the thing Villain-Guy is angry with MC about, the thing that makes them enemies in the first place, is just...apparently forgotten. Like, he suddenly just decides he's over it, and is willing to help MC in his hour of need. ^^
And this is (a) the biggest hint that he's up to something and (b) a little bait for the hypothetical audience who liked the beginning of their relationship, where they were sweet and fun with each other and teamed up against their common enemy. All of that happens again, but BETTER, and my hope is that it'll look like they could actually make a good couple....if one ignores all the glaring character flaws that are still lingering in the story, and which will eventually ruin everything.

Ah yes...it is my fondest wish that someday in the future, this bait-and-switch will make readers cry.

A deconstruction of the enemies to lovers trop can lead to interesting directions in storytelling.

Yeah, people vastly underestimate just how much it actually takes for people to turn their opinion around on someone they legitimately hate. If we already like someone, we tend to more easily ascribe other positive traits to them as well, and the reverse is true as well. That guy is sexist? Well he's probably also racist and homophobic and an ugly stinky loser who lives in his parents' basement, so you shouldn't read his book because he's probably a terrible writer as well. Oh, my favourite creator is an abuser? Nooo he'd never do that, he's smart and funny and hot and he makes great music, how dare you.

I feel like it would be awesome if we had enemies to lovers plots that never mentions it's going to be enemies to lovers; put the audience in the shoes of one of the characters and get us to hate the other character as much as they do - frame them as the enemy rather than the eventual love interest. And then pull it off anyway. I will applaud anyone who manages to do this. (Ofc the problem is I can't ask for recs because the very act of recommending something reveals that the characters are 'supposed' to get together :'D)

Enemies to lovers is actually one of my favourite tropes, but that's because I also love redemption arcs - and that's where I think a lot of people go wrong. IMO, enemies to lovers with one character having the kind of backstory which contains truly monstrous acts only works if the villain involved is trying to repent and atone. And even then, it should be a very difficult relationship for the two characters involved, because it requires a level of compassion and forgiveness which is very hard to grant on one side, and a depth of guilt and self-loathing which is going to make an absolute mess of a person on the other.

I intend to play with this trope waaaaaay later in my comic, and my atoner goes through emotional hell. The relationship only works because the other half of that couple has lived through that kind of guilt as well, and winds up seeing themselves and their struggles reflected back at them. Cue compassion, which leads to wanting to help, which leads to feelings.

Not a fan of this as it doesn't work with how humans actually work. Feuds lasting generations happened in real life from the killing of a pig. Major religions hate other religious for stuff that happened centuries ago to people neither side has met or knew. Unless your story is super long and you have lots of time to show how the relationship changing, most hate-to-love stories come off as cheap.

I think enemies to lovers can work if it is simply them coming from different backgrounds, like the werewolf vs vampire, Romeo and Juliet, Beauty and the Beast, etc.

It doesn’t work for me when you have one being a mass murder who killed the others friends/family. Kylo and Rei is a good example of this. Why would Rei forgive him for the people he killed? Plus, in one of the comics, they mentioned that Palpatine impregnated Anakin’s mother. So Kylo is Rei’s nephew once removed. Eeehh.

Has anyone read:

Because that book does all the things you talked about so well! The build up is so good and when they finally confess? I read that chapter over and over all the time.

I do think the person's intentions with this trope matters sometimes. I think, so long as it's pointed out how messed up it would be for someone to be in love with someone who killed their family, or the author's intention is to explore the psychology of a person who would still love someone like that, it could be quite interesting. I do think context can really add to stories like those as well

Like... OK, maybe the guy (or gal) in the story killed the other's entire family, but then you discover that the guy (or gal) has actually been raised to be a killing machine and their humanity has been stripped from them through hideous, inhumane means. You might not be able to excuse what the character has done, but at least you could understand it, and perhaps even understand the other character wanting to help them find their humanity again.

I really don't know, though. XD Is this a YA trope or something? I don't think I personally stumble upon it very often with the media I interact with LOL. It might be interesting to challenge myself to write something like this sometime, though.

Either way, I think you can construct a story any way you want and have it work, but you need to be careful in the details of this one.

Agree. In my opinion, writing a good quality and realistic enemies to lovers story takes a lot of time and dedication. Emphasis on A LOT.

Not everyone has the time, the iron will, the necessary skill to fulfill the potential of this type of story. The wonderful idea alone is not enough, consistent and realistic implementation of the idea throughout the story is also very important.
It doesn't help that romance novels are squeezed into word count "standards" and often boring story telling templates, which force some authors to rush or cut out relevant/unique bits from the story.

There are so many stories where one character hates/loathes the other for whatever reason, and then 1-3 chapters down the road they're suddenly best buddies/lovers. Ugh. No. Resolving the problem, forgiving/letting go of the heavy emotions takes a lot of time. The characters require to change/develop, and that takes goddamn TIME.

I don't recall many good enemies to lovers stories that I've seriously enjoyed and wanted to re-read. In fact, at the moment I can recall only one novel, just one out of countless nameless stories I've tried to read and dropped like a hot potato.
That (military) story was super long (beyond word count standard for epic stories), covering 26 years of characters' lives! How many stories has someone came across doing that?
And while the writing style was something I personally had a very hard time getting used to (still do), in the end I still managed to enjoy the story a lot. Enough to want to re-read it every few years. The realistic and mind-blowing plot and character development left a serious impression on me.
[Bonus points if someone has read the story and recognized it?]

I wish there were more good enemies to lovers stories out there, but I haven't found them yet. If somebody has some good stories to recommend (MxM stories for me), I'm all ears. 🧡