I feel like giving up on my comic. (Rant)

[shazzbaa]

I'm gonna be super honest with you:

For most people, you run into someone critiquing your work for the first time and noticing things you didn't do perfectly once in a while, and you have time to think on it and learn and grow. While your audience is still smaller, you get someone telling you that your character's action was unrealistic, and while that's perhaps true you can get over that one comment and make your character writing better and better as the story goes. As time goes on you get more and more comments, and after a year or two of this you've learned how to process that kind of criticism and determine what's helpful and what's not.

But this didn't happen with you. You've been thrust into an unnatural situation, been asked to immediately be able to handle something you weren't trained for the way everyone else was, and it's natural and normal and okay to feel overwhelmed by that.

I think if you are able to find ways to come to terms with the visibility you now have, that's really good and the ideal scenario! But I also understand that it's really hard. If you end up having to step back from your comic for a bit because it's causing you too much stress or burning you out so much that it's not enjoyable anymore -- your health comes first.
The first thing that came to mind for me when reading your post was actually Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name -- a comic that got a sudden whirlwind of popularity back in the early 2000s that became such a frighteningly overwhelming, entitled fanbase that the creator had to step away -- but now, Tess Stone is back again and going strong with his new comic. It's not ungrateful or wasteful to need some space -- don't feel like you HAVE to suck it up if it's more than you can handle right away, because it's possible to step away and come back later!!

---

That said, here's a note about "brutal honesty."

People can be honest, and still not be correct. Someone might say "this art style sucks" and they're being honest -- they don't like the art style and they think it's bad -- but other people DO like the art style, so it would be more accurate for that critic to say "I don't like this art style." It's possible for one person to wholly love a thing that someone else wholly hates, and both of them are being completely, totally honest.

The problem is that people tend to be a little entitled -- to assume, without realising it, that everything on the internet is created for them, and therefore if they have a problem with a piece of media (a) the creator will want to know and (b) it's a universal problem that should be fixed....... when sometimes neither of those things are true.

It's okay to ignore criticism. It's okay to ignore well-meaning criticism. It's okay to ignore criticism that has merit. It's okay to grow at your own pace!!!

[Laht]

Hi there, soxu.

I believe that even with heavy promotions, most readers would still subscribe on their free will. They like what they see, so they stay for more. Please don't doubt that.

I've seen your comic from the first chapter. I already knew you'd get attention quickly. So don't doubt yourself. The more you make, the more you became better anyway. So don't give up. It's not like our first, second, or third comic should be a perfect masterpiece.

You won't be able to satisfied everyone. It's totally okay. Just make it so in the future you can re-read it thinking how much you've learned. It's your comic. Do whatever you want with it. Unless it makes you uncomfortable.

I've been on LW since 2015 and I can tell you that trolls, senseless down-votes, toxic behaviours aren't new. It's better these days though. The readers can be very young. But many of them have grown up, and a lot of them are really supportive. Believe in those who believe in you ^^

If you still find it uncomfortable to go on, just take a break. You matter.
If you still want to continue, I'll be one of the readers who cheer for you.

[Zugaikotsu]

You re doing really well! Seriously! Most of those kids just wanna pest you cause you got a spotlight! Keep going! You re doing a great job!

[miramiee]

Omw I actually read and subscribe to Hellish aaaah. It's wonderful, seriously.
In which case, if you're insecure about your writing, then do what you need to do to fix it. There will be so many people rooting for you to do so more than there are people who want you to quit (and your subscriber count is testament to that!). I think it's important to stay mentally healthy about creating, though. It's good that you're honest about your own abilities, but don't discredit what you've already done! Take a break if you need to, or if you really want to quit that's fine too-- but the most important thing to remember is that you really need to be liking what you do or else it's just going to be hell (pun totally not intended) until the end.

Commenting as a reader tho: Don't give up! It's really a fun read. I really hope you make it to featured someday.

[A-weird-girler]

Look, I'm going to be honest with you, it has some lackluster parts. You shouldn't quit tho, it's quite good. Just put it on hold and it'll all be fine. Take as much time as you want dear. (Edit: Don't establish a possible romance right after the characters meet. That comes later)

[eristeine]

Yo. I've read Hellish before, adored the sheer amount of effort placed into the art. But a quick scroll through your tumblr yielded that yes, you weren't sure about your writing. Considering your post now, you seem to think that some of these flames are criticism. Here's the thing, right. If people are shouting at you/ranting at you instead of carefully taking the time to explain their point of view in order to help you improve, that's not criticism. Criticism is there to help you, not to scream about so and so.
Now, it's good to be able to reflect on yourself and your work and step back. That's great! However, you can't internalize everything that flamers/haters/even legit critics say about your comic. Believe me, I've been there. It consumed me, held me back, it made me take down my comic series twice. The joy was sucked out of me until I could produce something that was 'good enough.'
What really happened was that I took it down. Not because of wanting to improve, or getting tired of the story, or even because i moved on. It was because of internalized flames turning to my inner critic's voice.
So here: don't listen to it. Don't listen to them. I know it's hard. They've echoed for so long with me too. But here's the solution I found: Accept criticism only from people you ask from, because they'll be critiquing you in order to help you improve, not for the chance to tear you down for one reason or another.
Bro, if you want to drop the comic, that's all fine and good. But if you want to continue, fight your way to the finish line, your readers will be there for you
If absolutely nothing else, take out the bad and good comments, take out the reader engagement, if nobody read it at all, would you still continue it for your own joy? If so, then do it.
P.S. Hell, if you want beta-readers or help in general, I'm down. But mostly I just wish you a lot of luck

[Hecarim]

@punkarsenic
"hellish is gonna be complete garbage. and im gonna love it."

I love that. That line felt like it flipped a switch in my head. I'm actually going to print it out and hang it over my workspace with your username attached to it to remind me not to take myself too seriously.

Crap, I actually cried after I finished your post. Thank you so much for your input.

@BlackRose108
Holy cow. Thank you for taking your time to do that. I appreciate it, and I don't see it as being mean, not even a little bit. You mentioned everything I was struggling with, and you've given me ways to improve on it. I'll keep going back to this post while working on the dialogue/story of future episodes. And I will keep working on it, because everyone who's posted here has given me a new perspective. If I ever stop, it'll be for myself only.

[Hecarim]

@TheKao
You're absolutely right.

I often forget that this IS absolutely my first comic. I'm going to suck, because I'm in the process of learning.

Your post reminded me of how much I've improved since my first episode. I didn't even know how to make speech bubbles in Photoshop 2 months ago. The second episode? I realized my panel spacing was too crowded, and I went back to fix the previous episodes. And so on and so forth.

None of that would've happened if I had quit. I think I've just been misled by people's expectations of me in the comments. I am a noob, and I'll get better episode by episode.

Thank you for your words.

@shazzbaa
I honestly... I feel like I'm breathing again after reading your post. That's exactly how I feel, 100%! I was afraid that I would be seen as ungrateful, that this post would be interpreted as me being snooty about free exposure (which nobody has thought at all! I love this community and I am so humbled by all the support I've gotten today).

You hit the nail right on the head. My comic is on episode 5, and I'm still the artist who doesn't know how to color properly, or draw feet and hands. The writer who doesn't know how to write dialogue that isn't tacky. Waking up one morning with 3x the audience I had a day ago made me feel like I was on a platform surrounded with strangers, at their mercy. It's not like I don't want the audience... I just need more time to get better, and to become more confident in myself before it happened.

And your last lines about criticism are amazing as well. Maybe I knew that deep down, but needed someone to confirm it before I would listen. Maybe I had read too many deviantart forum posts about NEEDING to accept strangers´critique if it was polite and written with class.

[MelancholicOtaku]

Use the criticism to your advantage, need to work to on writing, perhaps having a second person reading the script before you draw it might be a good start. Dont give up, remember a good creator takes criticism to improve their work. Good luck and remember to have fun.

[amortelito]

Hi, dear...everyone pretty much said it all. Just wanted to remind you that you have no obligation whatever to please anyone. Not the staff, not other creators, not even the readers...Don't let pressure kill your joy. Literally go back to the basics: What is it that you WANT to do. Yes, you can improve many things, but keep your happiness in doing so. And if your writing is really sh*it you can work on that... or NOT even work on that If you like it how it is. I'm not advising you to be mediocre, I see you beat yourself far too much to tell you to improve (you already tell that to yourself). What I think you need is to remember to draw and write with your heart.

By the way on the internet people are never F*happy I don't get the sense of entitlement some readers have over free art. People are more likely to leave a negative comment than positive. Seriously they can love your work and be silent for years but the minute thye find a mistake they will not let it slip. I hope you are feeling better now.

[mong2]

I'm not an author so I can't give any advice regarding writing or handling criticism... I think your comic is great though (and I'm being completely honest). I'm not sure what bad writing in a comic looks like so I can't really critique you on that. There's only 5 episodes so far, excluding the bonus episodes, so I think it's too early to say whether the story is bad or not.

The more you write, the more you'll improve so I think you should keep writing. Hellish imo is really good for a first time comic, heck you were chosen by Webtoons so your comic has gotta be decent. You can't get everyone to like your comic, there will always be someone who will hate it with or without reason. So I think it's more important for you to write the comic for yourself, there's no point to making a comic if you feel unhappy doing it.

Sorry for this useless and unhelpful comment, but I'm a subscriber of yours so I wanted to give a hand in raising your morale.

[KSlinger]

I'm sorry you're getting a load of criticism off the back of what has to be a really exciting time in your creative life. It's rubbish that you can't enjoy this period as fully as you should. That's not your fault. I think anyone would be bummed out by the idea of someone going out of their way to bitch and moan about another person's personal project-- legit crit aside. Seriously, how sad and envious do you have to be to go out of your way to write that crap? The world is full of stupid, petty individuals with zero introspection. These won't be the last you meet, I promise!

But, that said, please don't give up! I wish I could give you more solid advice on how to deal with the way you're feeling (not that I know any better, I haven't worked on my project for the past two months for the same reason), but really all I can do is remind you of a few things, like:

1. Even the most successful creatives deal with this shit daily. It's like a tax. The fact that you're dealing with this means you're doing something right. Ever heard the saying 'if you keep encountering enemies, you're going in the right direction'? Well here we are! You're smashing it!

2. Having serious doubts about your ability is going to happen forever. Honestly. Forever. You know how many books I've read and then gone back to what I was working on only to wonder why the hell I've wasted my time? It happens to everyone in this field. We do it with artwork, writing, pacing, structure, linework. Go read the Tvtropes if you fancy a nice dose of insecurity (no- don't!). Trust me, you aren't alone. And I think you're right to get it out on paper somehow. Better to deal with these feelings than swallow them. Hopefully the support from everyone here will make you feel better.

3. You will continue to rise from your already fantastic position the longer you keep putting in the work. If you keep on going in this vein imagine where you will be this time next year, and the year after that. Hellish may be your first project (may be your last if you choose), but you have the time and talent for many more stories besides this one and with each one of those you will get better and better at the things you struggle with now. We all start in the same place-- you, me, Neil Gaiman, JRR Tolkien-- and we can all get where we want to go if we just keep going, even when it gets rough. But you already know that.

4. You are capable of writing. You are doing it now. You didn't fake your way here. You didn't put in a cheat code or take a shortcut. The fact is that your story-- art, writing and all-- has done well. There's no taking away from that. Even if you packed yourself up now and walked away you could put a hand on your heart in ten years time and say 'I wrote and drew an online comic and over 35,000 loved it.' Do you know how amazing that is? Or how few people do something that worthwhile in their whole lives? Be proud of yourself. You've done something incredible. You still are. Don't be so hard on yourself.

5. You can stop this train at any time-- today, tomorrow, next week, whenever-- but whenever you do feel that temptation take a moment to consider how you at thirty, or forty, or fifty might feel remembering this time of your life and all you achieved, with all the negatives and positives. Will the future you, with different commitments, less time, old experience, look back on today and say, if only I just kept going? I don't know why I stopped?

6. You’re totally entitled to feel like crap over this. You will probably always remember the doubt and hurt you feel now. I know I still remember old slights, thirteen years from where I began. But in a short while (or even a long while) you'll remember this time in the same way you remember a fight you had with your sibling or your parents, or that time you embarrassed yourself in school. It won’t mean so much. You will remember what you learned from it, but it just won’t sting. So feel the pain now as badly and deeply as it wants you to. It’s happening now and this is your moment to acknowledge it. But it will stop hurting, eventually. Try and hold on till then. Right now you’re deeply affected-- as you ought to be-- and no one should expect themselves to be wise and all-seeing in what they should or shouldn’t do when they aren’t capable of recognising what it is they’ve already done. Take some time to work through this. Nothing is lost. You’ll be alright.

[ghostmaya]

Don't give up~! YOu have 35k subs you should consider that you are so lucky to have that amount of subs. Unlike mine I only have 16k for almost 3 years and I always doubt myself ifI should continue, but in the end of the day. That is your work. Who cares about the comments, My webtoon in Season 1 it is full complains because my art is bad and episode is too short like 1 panel every episode LOL! but I listen to the readers and answer them by episode. I slowly improve, make episodes longer. Then after that. They noticed my effort and they appreciate it. At first I thought they are all bashers but eventually they become me loyal fans. Try to communicate your fans and readers in professional way. Don't act like SHEN, just because of the bike cuck meme he was snap and rant all the way. Always be professional even sometimes they are rude, be nice and chill.

[nekhcore]

you make hellish? i just discovered your comic in the carousel last week and i really liked it! i was a writer before i started working on comics and although my memory isn't the best, i don't remember anything particularly bad sticking out at me when i read your comic. that can mean anything from your writing being average to your writing being absolutely amazing. my standards are pretty low but big issues don't leave me. the only thing that really bothered me is that i have no idea where they're going or why, so i thought i missed something. but it seems like that hasn't been mentioned at all?

comics are a much more versatile medium than novels since there are details you can provide in imagery that don't need to be outright stated like literally everything in novels. but it's harder because in a way you have a lot more to think of. in prose when you're writing from a character's point of view you have to think about how they would think, what they would notice(will they count every pebble or just say that it's dirty?), how they speak, what they act like with people, etc. but in comics you have more details that the reader usually fills in when reading prose, like how does this character dress, what do they look like, how do they carry themselves, what are their physical ticks and habits?

my point is, just writing is hard enough, making a comic is harder. it's a great undertaking. this is new to you, but you're doing your best and your effort has been noticed and appreciated. the more you do the better you will do. if you think it's too much, take a break to work on your story and come back later. i was writing a novel that i loved and people liked, but it was burning me out and there were lots of things that i had to improve about myself as a writer, so i took a break. i'm technically still on break even if i'm working on a comic now, but one day i'll come back to my novel with a better vision. you can do the same. you might lose a lot of subs, but there might be twice as many people waiting patiently for you to come back.

[9outofPen]

I can totally sympathize, I'm weak to critics too >< It hurts when someone starts reviewing you badly, especially something you worked hard on. I agree with @theyaoiarmy , if you're not feeling up to it, just ignore the comments for awhile. You started your comic for you, so make something that pleases YOU! Wait until you're feeling better, and readers can just deal!

Even the best, most popular, top-rated media gets critics claiming it sucks! Harry Potter, Gravity Falls, Marvel movies, you name it. If it exists, odds are some people don't like it. But I'm sure they all started out as little people just like you, with no idea where their ideas would go. You're probably already better than you were at page 1, so celebrate your progress!!

[directorador]

if it makes you feel better:

I've been diagnosed schizophrenic since 2012, and now I have been writing since 2012-2013. People say my writing resembles psychosis even when I am healthy and well. The things make perfect sense to me, and I don't see how other people's writings is better.... so ya, hard to improve right?

[Purplegirl]

Hey Man,
I was actually in a pretty similiar situation where I made a comic, and it was getting a ton of ridiculous negative feedback from my friends and beta readers who said I was a good artist but an amateur writer. (they did have a few valid points, but sometimes it was just ridiculous) I know how you feel, I was depressed too and was pretty reluctant to continue my comic until I realized that I was making it for me and not anyone else. After talking to some people here I learned that the best thing to do was to find good beta readers and editors who are willing to take time to help you sort stuff out and offer legitimate criticism. Sometimes it's actually good to listen to some of the haters as they too might actually offer advice and point out things you wouldn't have seen before. For the destructive ones, just ignore them, they're probably just jealous that your comic is getting publicity and theirs isn't. Try to use this as a starting point so that you can push yourself to improve. (if you have 35K subs, then you HAVE to be doing something right regardless of what anyone says) ALSO if you're losing confidence in it, I'd advise you go on a mini hiatus in the meantime to build up back that confidence, because trust me a lack of confidence DOES show in writing. I know that might be a bit of tangent but those are my two cents and I hope it helps!

[ratscout]

Certainly don't give up~! I'm certain it must be really stressful if you have a big audience since people are bound to leave comment both nice and mean, but you should always keep in mind that you're making this more for yourself than anyone else!

The thing about critiques is that some of them are just trolls, some of them are kind of... Snippy, but they are genuinely trying to help, and then some of 'em leave really helpful critiques while also being really nice (the best kind!). You of course shouldn't even pay attention to trolls (they're mean people, you did nothing wrong), but for the other two types of critiques I would say keep one ear open and one ear closed. Some of the critiques I have gotten on the past for my own writing have been helpful, and others have been really useless.
For instance, one time someone said they didn't like the fact that a lot of my story was focused on past events but, like... That's a pretty subjective critique. So I disregarded that one. But then someone else said I repeated things too often and that was actually pretty helpful. So you also need to choose which critques to take to heart and which ones to disregard! Just keep at it and ignore the trolls <3.

[mariusthered]

i have been watching this thread.

in all honesty i think you need to take a step back and consider how dam lucky you are. some of us have been around comics for years and haven't had anywhere near the sort of numbers you are talking about. if your art and writing are that bad why have you had such a following? sorry to be the straight talking guy in the room and im not saying this to be nasty but if you walk away from this you might not be so lucky with your next project, fact some people might not bother reading anything else because you quite this one. at least bring the story to a good ending if you choose to quit.

im talking from experience here bud. my last comic tales from swipe city was not popular because of some of the content, but i did have followers. but the low number started getting to me and then i started the mistake of listening to negative people who talked me out of it and I just quit the comic where it stood because i could not handle drawing any more. after a break i began something else and to be honest the figures are better than the last project. but i do miss my old characters. my advice listen only to people who can help you improve, negative crap that dose not do anything to help you improve is just unhealthy and not worth paying attention to. take a break and write something for a new project not connected to you comic, but be sure to come back to it. end of the day if you don't love your work why should anybody else.

[TomorrowShines]

Use another account if you have to (to reduce the amount of weirdos) but straight up advertise and hire/acquire a writer/editor to help you. (It isn't a sign of weakness to bring on talent to patch up a rough spot, that's what companies do every day... time to start thinking like a boss.) And ha ha in this case using the hook of "doing it for the exposure" would appear to be a real benefit!