I will give you feedback on your novel

[Wocalich]

I'm happy that you were interested in my feedback. I hope I can be helpful.
Now, let's start with the blurb:

The first line isn't interesting. Make it more dramatic. Maybe like this:
One is a prince, trying to get his throne back.
One is a bastard, fighting for the independence of his fallen kingdom.
And one is pushing the limits of her empire.
Their paths entangle.
How will this mess be resolved?(I don't like this last sentence but I don't know enough about the story to write sth better)
Onto the first episode which I will comment on in a new post.

[chestnutriceeee]

Thank you very much! That was pretty helpful! I'll try looking over the fight scene again and see how I can make it smoother! Thanks again

[Wocalich]

I'm guessing the bastard-demon we see in the prologue is the main character. If so, it would be good to make that clear in the blurb. The blurb makes it seem like there are three main characters. What else...the pacing felt fast. I would recommend slowing it down and really making us feel what Titus is going through. I don't have any other feedback for the first episode, I'm sorry for that. This is why I'm trying to get better at giving feedback. I hope the parts I pointed out help you.

[Wocalich]

I will do this one tomorrow if that's okay. My attention span is stretched to its limits and I would like to have some time to gather it back together so I can give a good feedback.

[Lirina]

Sure! I'm looking forward

[FlorenceV]

As far as i read I liked your story, It remanded me the anime named Fumetsu no Anata e
Realism probably isn't your first goal, but there are some absurd things like why the boy wanted friends after he eat
Is he reincarnated? Because he is too smart for a little child.
But looks like story will be definitely improve as the story progresses and certain things are revealed.

[FlorenceV]

Yes there are three mc, and one of the reasons pacing felt fast because Titus was a one-episode character, He will appear in the future, but he does not have much of an event, what happened to him was completely unfortunate.
And even if there is a prologue in the title of the episode, the prologue of the story covers an area of ​​the first 90 episodes, the main story written in the summary will start after the 90 - 93 episodes.
Actually I have to change the name of the episode it would be better.

(Bastard is not the demon btw )

[Panqiuyan]

mine

Thorns of the Forgotten Rose | Tapas

[tamapochi]

Here's my novel There is some graphic violence in later episodes which you don't have to read if it makes you uncomfortable! Thank you for this opportunity!

Devouring of the Master | Tapas

[extazybomb]

Hey! I would definitely love some review on mine if you have the time

Short Stories with Tragic Endings | Tapas

[CitrusShines]

The Cave Dweller and other Strange Tales | Tapas

Here you go

[ivanskilling]

I would love some feedback on any of my novels (you can choose whichever you're interested in)!

(P.S. I just realized I'm no longer subscribed to you because you took down the previous novel! So I re-subscribed. )

Devil's Triangle | Tapas

Shackles | Tapas

Dark Bytes | Tapas

[jenessamdsilva]

If its possible, please check out mine. Its a romance thriller.

The Love She Wanted | Tapas

[Daisy]

I'm interested to hear your thoughts

Elijah's Soulmate | Tapas

[MShadowlawn]

If you're offering, I present to you my story!

Urban Wolf: On The Run | Tapas

[An_Alias]

Hello!
I just started writing this one and am unsure how it reads. Any feedback would be great! (It is setting up to be a horror novel but nothing posted atm is trigger-warning-worthy, so you should be good)

Bad Day | Tapas

[solavation]

I started my first comic please let me know what you think
Naissance De Vide

[Wocalich]

Thanks for waiting! Let's look at the blurb first:

I have to be honest, it took me a second to wrap my head around the blurb. The plot seems really complicated for a BL. Not that that's a bad thing but as far as I know, BL readers are drawn in by simpler plots. You could reveal less in the blurb and draw in more people. Once you get the reader's attention, the story could get more and more complicated.

Onto the first episode, which I will write in a different post.

[Lirina]

Thanks for your feedback! I agree, I suck at writing blurbs

[neidarous]

Hello, here is mine:

Burning Tears

Burning Tears | Tapas