I will review the first 5 (Mostly more) chapters of your novel/comic! [CLOSED]

cosmicnano11 2021-07-06 11:36:30 UTC #5

Curious to hear your thoughts.

Eliteone 2021-07-06 11:42:20 UTC #6

Here is my first web novel. - A Demon Gives an Entrance Exam.

I tried to make the prologue Interesting and give an idea of what you can expect from my web novel.

Asura, a demon, is reverse reincarnated as a 16-year-old human with the purpose to crack an entrance exam.

Due to previous life events, Asura believes that people betray even their loved ones, once they find something they want more than their love towards them.

Even though being a very hard worker, Asura struggles with studies. But, when real-life troubles come, his demon tactics save the day.

Check out A Demon Gives an Entrance Exam on Tapas https://tapas.io/series/A-Demon-Gives-an-Entrance-Exam

Lirina 2021-07-06 12:59:51 UTC #7

Here is mine, can post the review here. Thank you!

I'll read yours tonight

samiluu 2021-07-06 14:37:32 UTC #8

hello! this is my project Black Wings, a fantasy comic about demons

Nossumy 2021-07-06 16:20:16 UTC #9

Here is mine one I just recently updated cover.

bkwildenberg 2021-07-06 16:30:59 UTC #10

I’d love to get your thoughts! Can’t wait to dive into your story

chestnutriceeee 2021-07-06 16:35:01 UTC #11

Alright! Thanks for sharing it! I'll review only the English version because I can't read any Portuguese.

-The cover/banner: I like the cover. The art is clean, and the colors are done well.

-How hooking the prologue is: Honestly, while I find it interesting. The large number of spelling and grammar errors make it hard to read. Many sentences are also unclear in their meaning. I am adding some examples here just to be more clear.

Summary

Grammar

Together him, there was Ílliou, Lian and Stan. All them were promising and skilled soldiers, being all Kashans.

Bunch of Spellings

entried on the militar college,
Lian, trying to avoid staying out of the conversation
Thamiso felt his heart weighter

Unclear Sentences

In the end, the unique solution to cease the disgrace is the one dived in blood
Thamiso, as leader of his squad, shows a satisfied air of his companions.

Impressions on the first few chapters and whether they make me want to keep reading: I like the story, it seems interesting. But the grammar and spellings make it very difficult to continue reading.

General story and/or artwork: As I mentioned before, the story seems interesting. Each chapter is interesting and your world-building is being done well. A little awkward, but well.

-Style, tone, and setting: Tone is done pretty good and the setting is interesting too. I would highly suggest spacing your chapters. There is no gap between any paragraphs and that makes it very difficult to read,

-Writing/storytelling style and how smooth it is: I'll just skip over this since I mention all of this above.

Overall. I like the story, it has potential and is written interestingly. It can be difficult to get a native translator on board so please try using Grammarly to fix your spellings and grammar along with some other text editor.

Thank you for sharing it, it was an interesting read and I am subscribed from a while back

Rocksteady_Comics 2021-07-06 18:45:55 UTC #12

Here’s mine if you’re not too swamped! I’m fine with the review being posted in the thread.

chestnutriceeee 2021-07-06 18:50:09 UTC #13

Wow! This is amazing!! I’ll roughly go around the points I mentioned since I have practically nothing at all to scrutinize.

The cover is gorgeous. It instantly pulled me in.

The prologue is enough, there is no need to read the further chapters to get hooked. The grim tone and the realistic dialogues along with the beautifully drawn panels make everything pop out. I loved it.

On the off chance someone couldn’t keep up with the sudden shifts in the first 3-4 chapters, there is no way they even think of dropping it after chapter 5 unless horror is not their thing, So, the further chapters are amazing as well.

The only thing that I felt was off was the light silver background behind the panels, but you have changed it later on so that’s gone too.

Overall, this is amazing. I not only enjoyed reading this but also learned a lot from it. Thank you very much for sharing this here! Keep up the splendid work!

renaissancebadger 2021-07-06 18:57:11 UTC #14

hey, if you're okay with sad gay wizards or superheroes but there's only one page, then please check out either of my projects!!

Gail_Blanco 2021-07-06 19:14:13 UTC #15

Hey! would be cool if you could review mine... it's a love story about two highschool girls told in poems!

https://tapas.io/series/Nooris-Poems

T.A.U 2021-07-06 19:24:11 UTC #16

HEY, I'd love if you would take a look at my novel! This whole publishing thing is completely new to me and I would absolutely like to get a reader's perspective about the story I'm up to.
I'd appreciate your opinion

https://tapas.io/series/fosterfoster

Ranty-cat 2021-07-06 19:29:46 UTC #17

Yo, mate. Congratulations! Your novel is on the staff pick!
@chestnutriceeee

sadsackcomic 2021-07-06 20:45:02 UTC #18

Do your worst

LawrenceSV 2021-07-06 20:48:42 UTC #19

Here is mine!

LouWilham 2021-07-07 00:59:51 UTC #20

Truer words have never been spoken! The best way to learn about story telling is to read stories!

Feel free to peruse the first few chapters of my web-novel The Prince of Starlight.

Kuma 2021-07-07 01:04:08 UTC #21

Always love getting feedback

Audahlys 2021-07-07 01:48:41 UTC #22

I would love feedback from a reader's perspective, and I have five chapters! I do wonder how compelling my introductory chapter is.

I also reviewed yours, using the same criteria. I really like the story!

The cover: I love the cover! If I saw it in a bookstore, I would pick it up to know more.

How hooking the prologue is: I like that the first scene is action. It pulls me into the story immediately and introduces the powers of the world. The magic of the ambushers and the pocket watch of the boy.

Impressions on the first few chapters and whether they make me want to keep reading: I enjoyed the first few chapters. They set up an interesting premise and the goal for the rest of the story. This makes me want to read on (and I will!).

General story and/or artwork: From the beginning chapters, I have a vague idea of where the story is going and I’m excited to see what actually happens. I feel like there are going to be good twists.

Style, tone, and setting: The worldbuilding of your story is very interesting. I like the idea of the seven kingdoms being attached to certain magic/elements. The dichotomy of the magic versus the magicless is a cool perspective. How would a non-magic boy feel in a world catered to those with magic? I like how the setting adds to the characterization of Ivan and his goals.

Writing/storytelling style and how smooth it is: To be honest, I don’t tend to read many stories that are in first-person, but I like the internal commentary of Ivan. His caustic comments add to the story and give it a more comedic feel.

dsptss78 2021-07-07 02:27:03 UTC #23

Here is my webcomic if anyone is interested.

chestnutriceeee 2021-07-07 09:41:51 UTC #24

I totally understand how important the start is. I had to change my first chapters many times to finally have people read the second one XD.

-The cover/banner: The cover is good in itself, but the text is difficult to read. I would suggest making the title bigger and giving it some more pop. Maybe put 'The Last' and Elf in different lines with some stylized font?

If it's not too intrusive, here is a good reference for titling on a similar cover.

-How hooking the prologue is: Very much so. It has a lot of tension and builds intrigue. It's written very well. There are a few awkward spots and a few repetitive lines, but those things will not turn away any potential readers.

If anything, I would have ended the first chapter where Virion runs away from the battlefield with his mother since the atmosphere ahead is starkly different. But that is more of a personal opinion than a suggestion.

-Impressions on the first few chapters and whether they make me want to keep reading: I like them, the action is great, the tension sticks around and the plot seems very interesting. It kept me wanting to read more. I did find that there is a little too much information dumping in the first 5 chapters that could get a few people to turn away.

-General story and/or artwork: I said everything about this already

-Style, tone, and setting: The tone is well set but there are a few instances when it shifts too fast. It can get hard to follow the story overtime. The styling is where a small, yet important problem lies. It's confusing to differentiate between his visions and the reality. I have just read the first 5 chapters and for now it seems like the visions are a important part of the story so this slight confusion can be problematic for a few people.

-Writing/storytelling style and how smooth it is: I really like the way you write. It sets the tone very well and the plot is exposed very quick and very nicely. It made me empathize with Virion easily.

As I mentioned earlier, there are a few awkward bits, but they are barely noticeable.

Overall, it is a great read and a really lovely addition to my subscription list. Very enjoyable, keep up the great work.