I'll only be reading the top one. I'll do the rest if I have time after doing everyone else.
The narration seems kinda distant from the main character. Kind of like a bedtime story style of storytelling. This makes me assume that the one who tells the story (which is the author by default) is the narrator.
I like the world you are illustrating through your words. I'm imagining an Ori and the blind forest kind of aesthetic. However, you kind of got carried away with all your fantastical terminology.
For example, can you tell me how to imagine this sentence?
For me, I'm interpreting it as Zamani the MC stands on a rodent on top of a tall creature called a nhola facing the city of castles named Zhereen (I'm assuming the city is built by humans and thus uses the human standard of how large a city should be).
The latter half makes sense, but the former half requires some mental gymnastics for me to imagine it. It's pretty common to get carried away with your fantastical terms just remember that we readers don't know anything about what they really mean until you inform us.
+ Interesting World
+ A unique ecosystem of fantastical creatures
+ Vivid and efficient word choices
-- Fantastical Terms are not explained
-- A few formatting hiccups
Thank you for participating and I wish you the best of luck in your creative journey.