Very nice read. I'd rank Broken Hearts at a 6-7 out of 10 almost an 8, but there were a few things that kept popping up.
In a few instances you confused word meanings. For example You might have written:
"I might have been out of luck if he wouldn't have saved me."
But it was pretty clear you meant to write:
"I might have been out of luck if he hadn't saved me."
And then you have a few redundancies in your sentence structures. If you say that something is soft , you shouldn't have to say it again in the same sentence. An example of this is saying
" Her hands were so soft as she grabbed my shoulder softly."
Using the same adjectives or repeating metaphors in the same paragraph, or worse, the same sentence can make things feel repetitive. And that can make things feel like a chore to get through. It wasn't so bad that I couldn't continue reading, but I definitely noticed that you do this.
Another thing I think you could improve is your set dressing. I appreciate that you make it clear where characters are, but you don't paint very vivid pictures of each room.
For example, let's say you make it clear that everyone is sitting around a table eating dinner. It would add so much value if you described what kind of table it is, who's sitting next to who, what does the room look like, what kind of food are they eating. Each detail helps to further pull people into the story because they'll start to see what you see.