Alright you have quite a few chapters so it'll take me a while to read your full story. That in mind, I'll give you my review of the first couple of chapters now because im pretty sure I have a general idea of things.
Im going to break this down into 3 parts:
- First impressions
I'm into it. I like it. I think the world building could be handled with more subtlety such as wolf culture and introducing it to the reader, but I like things so far.
Starting the story with a wet dream is a nice way to set standards for the content, and it also gave your start some nice "heat".
I'm not sure I believe the dynamic between Cam and his sister. I know I would never speak so openly about morning wood with my siblings for one, but I also understand that some people aren't as reserved or shy as me. Either way, I like their dynamic.
Cam himself is easy enough to relate to so far. I appreciate that despite him being gay, I never sensed any stereotypical gay stuff. He didn't seem soft or flamboyant, but he also didn't seem like a tough guy. That's a hard balance to find and even harder to write for a gay character in my opinion.
The general premise of the story is easy to latch on to. You can definitely write "sexy" and you can write "funny."
For starters, I rarely enjoy stories written in the present tense. Typically I prefer past tense, but I have to say it didn't bother me here (at least not a lot). There were actually several areas where you slipped in and out of past tense and slipped in and out of present tense. It's easy enough to ignore those instances, but they are definitely there.
Next is info dumping. It's not too big of a problem yet, at least from what I see so far, but it's definitely there. Or maybe I shouldn't call it info dumping. It's that you explain a lot of information but it doesn't always feel organic, it doesn't always feel like the right time. In a lot of instances you wrote in the perfect moments to explain things, and then you explained them relatively well. But then you kept adding more information that wasn't necessarily relevant yet. Like I said, it's not a big problem from what I saw so far, but it's there.
At times it could be a little cheesy, but not in a "that wasn't funny" type of way. It was cheesy in a "Do people still say that" "would a person say that like that" "that was kind of a predictable way for that character to say that" kind of way. Again, it was nothing too bad, but it made things stiff in a few places.
I think your sentence structures could be smoother. You have a tendency to crowd your sentence with unnecessary words like "that" or "really" and sometimes you over complicated your sentence too. But again it was nothing too bad.
- My rating
For everything I pointed out in your Execution, I have to say, the story is good enough to make me say "fuck it, it's not perfect. But it's fun."
I'd give you a 6.5 out of 10. It would be higher because this is definitely something I want to read, ( I will be reading more) but again I'm not crazy about stories written in present tense, and I gotta dock a few points for the other stuff.