60 / 70
Jul 2021

The summary reads a little bit difficult for me, probably because it is one wall of text. I think breaking it up in two pieces can make it a little more clearer to read :+1:

Let's see...

A freedom fighter from 1919 Korea, Hae-eun, unexpectedly finds herself in the 21st century!
What's worse, she finds her country is still governed by a monarchy!

While she desperately tries to navigate her new world and find a way back home to her fiancé,
Hae-eun is faced with a dilemma: she must become an empress!
But will she make it back home, unscathed?

Just an example, but I broke it up in two parts and changed some minor things.

Hmmm both could use some work to be honest, but I'll focus on the second one.

You could make the summary a bit less crowded by breaking it apart in two parts. Content wise I think your summary contains everything I'd need as a reader: the main character and the plot that makes the story special, and stakes that come along with it.

Lia Lin Ai's life is abruptly taken away in an accident after a breakup, before a cupid offers her second chance at life. Accepting the offer, Lia Lin Ai's soul merges with the body of a girl with a similar name.

Is Lin Ai able to live this new life without access to her host's past memories? And how will she deal with old connections coming back into the picture?

Tried to write another version of the summary where I broke up the summary in two and changed it up a little.

Summary:

Olivia Flynn, 16 years old Swiss, moved to Japan due to her father's business. She was heartbroken from her misfortunes and came across the famous patisserie who tried to console her. What she didn't even know is, that patisserie guy is ACTUALLY her servant and as she met him, her life had turned 180 degree.

What's the story about:

This story is all about summoning the servants using gemstones and the servant fight with other servants and monsters to protect their master. The servant goes isekai from their fantasy world to the human world ( our world ) and the summoner can get the servant either from the internet at 3 a.m or come across them wandering. The people in human world ( our world ) form a pact between a human and servant and when that happens, the servant's vow to protect their master's life. If one of them dies, the other dies as well. Meaning, if the summoner dies, the servant dies and vice versa.

I love feedback.

Ahh I struggled so much on my summary :sob: I've changed it so many times yet I'm still not sure about it. Feedback on it will be very helpful!

Here's my story blurb, as I like to call it:

The vampire Ezekiel Blake has endured the last century in solitude, estranged from both the living and the undead. Disheartened and lonely, he partakes in art and theatre to restore his lost connection to humanity.

Thus, he arrives in Eidolon City, the home of the sorceress Angela Thorne. Sheltered by her overly protective uncle and haunted by a childhood tragedy, Angela has little control of her untrained magic. Ezekiel takes the young woman under his wing and teaches her how to control her powers. The two form a deep bond, and for just a moment, Ezekiel believes that his solitary life may have finally reached a turning point.

But that hope is shattered with the arrival of Ezekiel’s vampiric brethren.

Haven't gotten an actual review yet so, here goes.
Hope it's worth the read.

I've got 2 here. You can do both or just one.

Here's mine!

Here you go my friend.

Only 4 chapters and 3 pages to go to wrap it up. Give me your thoughts, baby!!!!

Oh great, I think my story summary had been ghosted. I was really expecting a critique and opinion about it. :frowning: :frowning:

Here we go! Short and sweet.

Here's mine.

Well sorry then for not writing reviews 24/7 :upside_down:

Reason being that I slowed down with reviews is that I'm on vacation for a week atm, and my internet connection isn't always stable. Hence why the critiques are not my priority at the moment.

I will get back to them, but you need to have a little patience. This is for free after all.

here's mine!

Alright, thank you for waiting. Let's see...

I think your summary content wise works fine, I'd mostly change up some things regarding the grammar and presentation of the summary. I would also use the present time in summaries, as using past tense might trick some readers into thinking that something in the story has already happened elsewhere and that they might have missed it.

When Olivia Flynn, a heartbroken 16 years old Swiss, moves to Japan, she comes across a famous patisserie that consoles her.

What Olivia doesn't know is that the patisserie guy consoling her is ACTUALLY her servant, and meeting him sets off a chain of events that turns Olivia's life upside down.

I changed the original summary up a little to make it easier to read

Thank you for this! T^T I'm horrible with summaries... ;__; Could I perhaps use this modified version?

Alrighty let's see... giving info about the update schedule is always a good thing. Credits where credits are due are also good.

I think content wise you got everything in the summary. But... I feel like there is still something that is missing. The summary feels kind of flat to me, like there is a description but it doesn't really spark my attention. It feels like I'm reading a passage out of a history book.

I think if you can make the summary a bit more personal then it could feel more alive. Like try to tell us a little bit more about the characters maybe? Let the reader get know know about them but not so much to spoil them entirely. Spark their interest to the main characters.

Hmmm I think that you need to shift the balance in this summary if that makes sense :sweat_smile:

What I mean is, I feel like there is too little information about Shinichi's cause of death that leads to his life ending and I feel the description of his ability is too much for a summary.

Maybe leave out some of the information on his strange ability for the comic itself? It would be nice to tease the reader and make them interested in the strange ability he possesses, because then they'll want to check it out due to curiosity.
I think leaving out some info will make your summary shorter and easier to read.

I think your summary contains everything it needs in main characters, who they are and what they struggle with. I believe that you could try and compress the second part a little as it is quite long. Maybe leave some information out?

For example, you could just tell the reader that Angela has no control over her powers and let them find our why that is once they read.

I think the last line is really good as it creates a stake related to the mc's past. It has a ominous feel to it.

Thank you for the advice! :blush:

Here's the edited version:

The vampire Ezekiel Blake has endured the last century in solitude, estranged from both the living and the undead. Disheartened and lonely, he partakes in art and theatre to restore his lost connection to humanity.

Thus, he arrives in Eidolon City, the home of the sorceress Angela Thorne, who struggles to contain her untrained magic. Ezekiel takes the young woman under his wing and teaches her how to control her powers. The two form a deep bond, and for just a moment, Ezekiel believes that his solitary life may have finally reached a turning point.

But that hope is shattered with the arrival of Ezekiel’s vampiric brethren.

21 days later

if you're still doing this, I'm sure my summary could be better