I'm bored, let's make jokes and facts/myth about planets, moons, stars, galaxy, and the universe

[faisalhussein394]

I am on my annual leave and now bored on my third day, so let's make some jokes and perhaps facts/myths about planets, stars, systems, nebula, galaxies, the universe, etc.

Jokes: Do you know why Saturn is losing its ring?

Answer: The Ring will be gone, because god is filing a divorce!

Saturn:
God:

Fact/Myth: Do you know why they call it the Milky Way galaxy?

Answer: Zeus has been feeding baby Heracles godly milk tits from Hera while she's asleep, When Hera is finally awake and realizes what is happening, she pushes them away, and the spurting milk becomes the Milky Way Galaxy.

Hera:
Zues:
Heracles:

Now it's your turn. Good luck.

[2DLenzy]

Our planet Earth is looked down on by all planets...

Why?

Because the Moon shows its full ass once every month, and we can't do anything about it!

*full moon-ing, get it?

Meh, that was bad and a really half-assed joke...

[2DLenzy]

Why was Mickey Mouse depressed?

Because Pluto ran away...

Man, I'm bad at this...

[llobucervallince]

I heard there's a planet out there

[abigaillmartin]

Mars is red because it’s angry all the water vaporized and had a meltdown.

[2DLenzy]

Neptune: Chill out, dude...

[2DLenzy]

I'll one more and leave y'all alone...

I suspect dwarf planets are responsible for forging Saturn's rings...

[NickRowler]

People usually pronounce Uranus wrong.

It's not ur-anus as in "Your anus". It's more like ura-nus like in "urine us".

This doesn't make it sound any less dirty tho.

[thepenmonster]

Some current estimates suggest the Earth will become uninhabitable for complex life within 250 million years due to the increasing heat of the sun and the creation of another super continent, instead of the billion as previously thought. Humans are likely to have gone extinct long before then and there will be no intelligent species around to dig up whatever traces of our civilization will still exist at that point. All of our wars and struggles and achievements will vanish.

The universe will not notice.

Bwa! Ha! Ha!

[abigaillmartin]

No it’s actually uhhh uhhh “ur mom”

[Stargazer31]

What's an alien's favourite snack?
Mars bars!

[BLTX]

The moon shows it's fu- Oh... That was done...

Ura- Really, I'm resorting to that...?

Ah, forget this nonsense! I've got a conspiracy for y'all! How can Mercury, on the day side at least, be so hot if it's melting is a mere -37°F?! There should be only half a planet! There is something being hidden from us...!

[faisalhussein394]

Okay, that is a Good one.

[faisalhussein394]

Okay, now that I like.

[faisalhussein394]

You're right, I am feeling dirty right now and I feel sorry for that planet having such name.

[faisalhussein394]

Now I want to buy some mars snacks before the aliens get them all.

[faisalhussein394]

You know, that would solve the mystery of Mars's lack of water. Anger issues. Now there's a new mystery, what's it mad about?

[faisalhussein394]

I agreed, an expedition must be made to solve this mystery.

[faisalhussein394]

And that is where Pluto is heading too.

[abigaillmartin]

It’s mad because Earth is closer to the sun and that it’s the last of the inner planets.