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Feb 3

Hello there! I'm JustABurningMemory, and I've been writing for 6 years now. I've always wanted to write something in the cyberpunk genre, but I've been suffering from some extreme burnout recently. I just published a prologue and the first chapter if that sounds interesting! It's called City of Light, and I'd love to hear some feedback, or anything that should be changed. I'm trying my best not to just copy Cyberpunk 2077, but it's also my biggest influence currently, so let me know if it needs any tweaks. Thank you!

Link: https://tapas.io/series/City-of-Light/info3

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    Feb 2
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    Feb 3
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Don't forget to post the link! Are you looking more for full critiques/reviews or more for sub4sub type arrangements?

thanks for the reminder, it's been a while since I've posted on here. I was thinking a quick review, but i'd be happy to sub-for-sub as well!

I can do a quick review - and it's too soon for an in-depth review anyway, with just a prologue and one scene. My main wheelhouse is in comics, so it's a bit weird for me to do a review that can't talk about the art.

It's solid so far, I don't have any major issues with it. Badger is a bounty hunter in not-Night City. I appreciate that it isn't an isekai. You did a good job keeping pleasantries out and keeping within the characterization consistent.

There are a couple of changes you should consider making - first, please put an extra space between paragraphs or an indent on new paragraphs. It'll help avoid confusion as the reader scans the page. You could also benefit from taking a second editing pass where you focus on making your descriptions more evocative without making them longer.

I hope you continue to lean into the noir attitude, noir is the inspiration for most true cyberpunk stories. The follow through and finishing of a story is much harder than starting it, so don't get discouraged when the grind sets in! May you have great success with this story!


You don't have to, but if you felt like reciprocating reviews or just checking out a comic, mine is here:

I appreciate the review! and you're so right about the paragraph spacing, it looks atrocious to read, I'll fix it!

it's made by mer!