Sep 2016
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Sep 2016
Sep 2016
matthewroel
Sep '16

Hey all.

Have to be honest, I'm not in a good place now, emotionally. It's not as bad as it's been before, but I have this overriding sense of potential futility in pursuing a career as a professional artist - or professional ANYTHING, really, freelance or not. I just feel that the odds are against me, even if I DO try everything to attain my illustration goals, because of these terrible anxieties that gnaw at me - even when my gut, emotional self tells me that this a vocation path worth pursuing. I have depression when I consider careers that aren't illustration/comics/game art related, and I feel depressed when I consider the realities that face me specifically if I DO pursue them. There are two main issues I struggle mightily with emotionally, and I felt I needed professional advice to better guide my decision making.

I live with my family in a highly poverty ridden border area of South Texas, studying art independently as an English major. The illustration market down here is nonexistent, so I'd have to move to upper parts of Texas, if not out of state, to find even the slightest bit of halfway decent work opportunities. That's hard enough on its own, but my skill level is at the point where I would struggle a lot to attain slightly decent freelance gigs. I think I would need 3-4, maybe even five years to be skilled enough to be full-time. Even then, attending Illustration cons, comic conventions, or CTN would be difficult, as I would be dealing with day job and financial restraints, up until I become full time. Where would I be able to find storyboard work? For Game Art, I'd have to learn the software, but I can't/don't want to attend game art schools for financial reasons, and I fear that the game art modeling programs would also be costly - these issues also apply to illustration jobs in animation.

I fear that I might not be emotionally/psychologically prepared for the realities of in-house and freelance art. I read about artist's sometimes working 50, if not 60 or more hours a week, some living pay check to pay check, all working to find paying clients. I do love illustration, and I know that starving/suffering artist's are just myths, but when I consider that I don't live in a bustling art area, my skills need some years of proper development -(DA ishttp://m-l-prometheus.deviantart.com, Tumblr is http://fuzzehchin.tumblr.com12) and that I'll be attempting to compete against younger, more polished art school grads, I can't help but question if could handle it. I fear that, independent of my skill level and the opportunities available to me, I'd struggle with isolation, frustration, depression, high stress levels, even though I love illustration. And will I be rejected by companies if I don't have a BFA in design or art?

These issues make me feel that I'm doomed to fail, that it can't happen because of where I'm from, and financially in terms of providing for my utilities, my Adobe subscription, my physical and mental health, even though I do really want to be paid to draw for a living. I wonder, from a pro's perspective, if my issues are overblown - and this isn't even getting into providing for a family, or retirement. Is the lifestyle stressful, but not in a way that makes you want to throw in the towel? Does the overall satisfaction outweigh the day to day highs and lows? Are my imagined physical/mental/financial health risks really that grave looking? I ask these questions here because there's a fair respectable number of working professionals on here that I respect as a visual storytellers and designers, and I welcome any insights into my existential woes. I know, on a gut level, there's an attainable middle ground between the harshness of reality, and my idealistic goals, but I fight to see them.

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Michelle
Sep '16

First off--- take a breather, these problems aren't insurmountable. Coming from someone who regularly deals with anxiety and depression, I've had this mental battle a lot and I promise you there is always a solution.

There's no doubt about it, being a professional artist is hard. Especially the freelance route. Living paycheck-to-paycheck (or gig to gig) is common, but it's not the end of the world if you live within your means.

Don't be fooled by thinking you need to live in a specific place to get work. It opens you up to more opportunities, yes, but we live in the age of the internet where studios and artists work across oceans. I'm in Los Angeles and yet all my gigs right now are with remote clients. Hunting for freelance is tiring, but if you put yourself out there constantly and work on improving your portfolio, slowly but surely you'll start finding gigs.

Having a day job while you build up your art career is not the end of the world. Oftentimes having that extra income will free up your mind to worry about focusing on your art, instead of demanding that your art support you and making it a source of stress.

As someone with a BFA, I can say that while they can help, most companies aren't going to reject you for not having one. The most important thing is how well you can draw and if you're pleasant to work with. No one's gonna pick a crappy artist with a BFA over an amazing but self-taught artist.

If you want some inspirational and reassuring listening material, check out the Chris Oatley Artcast1, for real. His podcasts cover a lot of the kind of fears and uncertainties that you've expressed, and at least for me, I find it reassuring when I hear other artists talk about how they deal with these same feelings and how to overcome them.

Don't worry, you're not alone in this! Just don't let these thoughts spiral out of control, because the reality is you have a lot of options you can pursue.

matthewroel
Sep '16

Thank you, I really appreciate all your kind words. God, I almost feel embarrassed getting all this out there, but if they'd stay in my head I'd go crazy. With a life choice that seems this "vast", especially when you take in account my skill level+where I live+my college major and all THAT headache that comes with this+the lifestyle of an artist, I'd honestly be a freaking idiot to not seek counsel. Life is hard as it is, and all my outside of art worries heinously compound my inside art worries.

A part of me is envious of art school students -not because of the financial aspect, but the community/networking aspects. There's jack squat down here in south Texas, never mind the rest of the state. But, now I'm just venting.

ratiqueDirector, Community (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Sep '16

It sounds like you are going through what many of us go through when it is time to make the decision of what to do professionally. It is scary to go out into the world, take a financial and personal risk with little to no experience. Don't get discouraged even before you started.

The first thing you want to ask yourself: Do you HAVE to become an illustrator, or are other design related jobs an option for you as well? Keeping your mind open gives you more options. Graphic design, product design, advertisement, packaging, ... all those are lucrative job fields that can be quite satisfying for someone with an illustrative background. Learning more about design itself will make you a better illustrator, keeps you in the industry and gives you the chance to work as an illustrator in your freetime. This is how I have been operating for years and I enjoy it quite a bit. How about looking into companies in your area and asking if they need an intern?

The second thing you need to start working at is a good portfolio. Not many companies truly care about you having a BFA if your portfolio is good. So use the next couple years to work on your art and designs and put together a portfolio that impresses.

And the third option that you probably don't want to hear about but I will bring it up anyways. Do you have to do illustration as your main profession for your first couple years? When financials and job opportunities are tight, it is often necessary to start out doing something different while working on your art. I worked at Starbucks, as an Optician and had some odd side gigs in my late teens and early twenties. The money I earned helped me buy my programs and computers. Internships helped me with my portfolio and design skill and I slowly transferred over to become a full time designer. After moving to LA I found myself to be a designer and illustrator, depending on my client's or company's needs.

As a reference I am now a manager in my current company, responsible for the content of our new, large websites with a couple designers under me. Have I ever thought this is what I would be doing? Never. But it is fun and challenging (And I get to draw my comic in my free time)

The path to your dream career is rarely a straight one and it is never the same for two people. Keep your head up, go out into the world, try some things and see where it takes you.

Michelle
Sep '16
matthewroel

Hey, don't worry about it. We all have hard times and bottling it up doesn't do you any favours. As long as you're willing to reasonably assess your options, you'll be ok. :>

Art school is a great opportunity for making connections, but it's far from the only one! You can often find local artist meetups in coffee shops and bookstores if you do some persistent digging. And there's tons of community to be found right here on Tapastic, and on various places of the web like Twitter and Facebook. Face-to-face isn't the only way to build meaningful connections.

matthewroel
Sep '16

@Michelle
I know that your right. The number one problem I'm having is in regards to opportunities and cost of living.

I'm not poor, and my immediate family isn't poor, but 75 percent of people who attend my University are on financial aid. I know that Art School grads and independent learners also struggle with this, but I'd have to find proper opportunities in different areas with overhead that can accommodate what money I might make with post school jobs, which I don't think might pay much? While also investing in my craft with online study+Adobe costs. I KNOW, but also fear there isn't, that there's ways to make peace with these financial issues, but I don't know. Do you know anyone with similar issues?

Michelle
Sep '16

Hard to say, since cost of living varies so much from place to place. Like, my somewhat inexpensive LA apartment would buy you a 4 bedroom house in most parts of the country >u>;
I've lived in poverty for the majority of my life (also went to school on financial aid-- yay eternal debt!) so my take on this kind of thing may be different from yours. But until you get a secure and good-paying art job, typically the best approach is to get a decent day job and have roommates to help split rent costs.
Like I mentioned, if you can minimize the stress of demanding a living from your artwork alone, it will better allow you to work on your skills.

Shanny8
Sep '16

@Michelle and @ratique have great points. There are a lot of us who want to do art as a main career, but life doesnt always work that way. Some people are still given an opportunity to eventually make art the main career, but it also requires lots of patience and perseverance.

Read their suggestions, and look at your situation. If you can devote your time to improving & developing your portfolio while working another job for more practical reasons, then you may be able to try your hand at getting freelance work doing art down the road- you just have to believe that you can accomplish it.

Delete
Sep '16

I recently got a masters degree in fine arts and I still work retail. I've worked some freelance illustration jobs but they never really pay enough and are very consistent. I've also done internships, which didn't lead anywhere and usually aren't paid (intact, usually you end up just doing the work these techie people don't know how to do). long story short, I realized I don't want to work and do art for anybody and just want to do my comics and artwork for myself. If something picks up then great otherwise it's whatever.

One thing I'm getting into is teaching. I started working as a substitute teacher part time and I actually really enjoy teaching. It's just feels really pure. It's not about money or getting noticed for your art it's just about teaching kids these skills in order to improve their art and themselves. It's very satisfying to me. So anyways I'm working on getting a teaching credential at the moment. Also teaching is only have the year, you get holidays off and health benefits. It's a pretty good deal.

That's working for me but you'll need to figure out what works for you. The only way to do that is to try hard and give it your all and see where life leads you. Seriously, like 4 years ago, I really didn't want to teach.1

Whatever you do, you'll figure it out. Things change. You'll change. Just follow your heart and all that cliche crap.

vongcw
Sep '16

I don't have any professional advice to give you since I'm not currently earning anything from art either.

But... I just wanted to share that I'm in the same boat as you. I'm actually trained as a dentist. Which is a high earning job. Except. I can't work as a dentist anymore because it gives me a severe kind of depression. Which leaves me uhh... kind of in the middle of nowhere. Since art has always just been a "hobby" for me. It's always what I've wanted to do but I have no formal training in it. Which I sincerely wish I did.

So I find myself well.... without anything solid to build upon actually. Except a little hope. And a refusal to roll over in defeat. I hope you find your way through the storm. Backing you all the way man.

matthewroel
Sep '16
1

Okay, I'm calmer now. As I see it currently, I'm simply not comfortable with my current English degree plan, relative to my goals of having an artistically creative career.

I feel, after being well informed, as well as listening to my gut, I would benefit more from an artistic/design, and yes, illustrative perspective If I were change majors to Graphic Design. Knowing what I know, living where I live, with the skills that I have, there would be more room for "going up" -learning new artistic skills, gaining employment, networking, without throwing out illustration art entirely. I just don't feel as comfortable as I used to about spending an investment on a major that doesn't have anything to do with artistic/visually creative goals.

Graphic Design isn't a "passion", but relative to other options I survey, from programming, to teaching art, to having a non artistic vocations that I currently considered, like counseling or nursing, I find that I actually design find a genuinely interesting and rewarding process, with related opportunities like web or ui design. I could still improve my illustrative draftsmanship as well, while pursuing Graphic Design opportunities.

I feel that I'm making sense - perhaps I should continue the current major, but I do also take into account the opportunity cost of not taking advantage of a commercial art related program. I'm not currently as comfortable with that as I used to, but if anyone can give a convincing point otherwise, I'd be interested. It's either Graphic Design, Studio Art (which would push back graduation even more than Graphic Design), or English. I'm curious to hear from anyone with some kind of Graphic or related design background.

DeadAccount
Sep '16

I was in the same boat as you, studying illustration, making barely any money off my shitty deviantart commissions and wonder how they hell I'm gonna make it smile So in the end I switched to studying 3D modelling and have been working in games for a few years now.

The good:
I have the cash for conventions and print runs and all the fun comic stuff.

The bad:
-I work 50-ish hours a week and spend 15-20 hours on my comic on top of that.
-I'm positively burned out, getting nowhere with the job and really thinking of going back to illustration anyway.

So yeah, art life is tough. I wish I had a passion for a more commercially lucrative art career, but I also freakin' love comics. Hopefully I'll be able to freelance eventually >_>

I'd recommend learning a skill that would pay the bills, be it Graphic Design or modelling, or even something non-art related, and slowly work away on your art until freelance becomes an option, or your personal projects take off : D

matthewroel
Sep '16

@cryoclaire
Sorry to hear about the job frustrations, but I'm certain you can eventually sidle out and transition into something you could maybe more agreeable. That's basically what I'm doing know, still in college.

The position I'm in: Don't wanna grad with a degree I currently don't intend/am comfortable with to get much out of. If the choice of struggle is between: struggle out of school with a non art related "day job" with an English degree, OR, struggle/network with a graphic/web design degree post college. One I'm more comfortable with than the other; you CAN go to "different areas" with design experience, as I see it.

lunaartemisasama
Sep '16

I am studying graphic design as a second career (kind of). Sorry but I can't be of help. I had I degree in something I really don't care because I am so socially awkward that I need a diploma so people see that I am able to work lol ( And my actual boss hired me after having a small anxiety attack that ended up with me crying in the interview lol)

So I feell so blessed to have a job, that I try to treasure it even if it's not my dream job. And at least I can pay a technical school without going in debt. For the time being art and design is my scapegoat from work. So that's it.

Also, at least in my country, as a graphic designer you are paid really low unless you have a good networking. So you have to be really good at it, your portfolio must be amazing, if you are mediocre maybe you can obtain a degree but that's not gonna help you to have a job, unless you are from a really well-known place or you have other interesting skills.

But remember that being a graphic designer can be a pretty demanding job, specially if you end up working in an publicity agency you have deadlines and sometimes you won't go home thinking about a campaign with your creative partner. The same if you work in a newspaper, magazine, even in a normal company with a marketing department. But I suppose it will depend of your future area of expertise.

Sorry about the long post lol

matthewroel
Sep '16

@lunarartsemisama

I guess my greatest issue is that the "cons" of artistic careers -like Graphic Design, or Concept Art, or Illustration - or ones that aren't artistic - like, a librarian, or a counselor or whatever - is that I just don't know what cons I'm willing to put up with the most.

Graphic Design can apparently be very stressful and competitive, even with good school experience. As is Concept Art, or Illustration. But, I literally feel stuck, because I feel bad when I consider relegating art as a hobby, and yet I also don't have a tremendously strong inclination towards a career that, for me to be most okay with it, isn't an office or corporate position, or a doctor, lawyer, professor, teacher, etc.

lunaartemisasama
Sep '16

Like a friend says, we have to survive, sometimes the hunger is greater than our preferences. Just remember that whatever you end up doing is not gonna be forever, we have freedom. I don't have any inclination towards my career but I do it because it feels good when someone pays you for your job, and even if I struggle I try to do it right.

Also you can always explore other possibilities with an English major maybe you can be an online teacher, for foreigners, or you can specialize in creative writing, write about art, comics, design or be a journalist and end up getting hired as a comic book editor like Axel Alonso.

So not everything is black or white. But well in the end is up to you. All the jobs are stressful and competitive, unless you are part of that special class that works in what they like, but be sure that they worked really hard in order to be where they are now.

Every problem has a solution, however far off it may appear. And if there's no solution, then there's no problem.