Is this plot worth it? [Poll]

[Reverof]

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Hi! So... Um... Hi! I'm new here. Actually, I'm new to writing too. To be honest I don't read as much as most of the people here, but, I always had these stories that I thought up in my head, and, well, I always wanted to share them with people. However, ever since I was young I usually have been laughed at or ridiculed by people because of the stories I shared. So to be honest I'm pretty nervous, and I'd like to know if this plots story is worth telling. Which is why I developed this poll. I'd like a few opinions to see if the story is any good.. Ill give a short recap of the entire story to see if its any good or not.

Plot :

An evil scientist steals advanced alien technology, and orbits their small planet around the earths gravitational pull. With stolen technology, he hacks into the worlds power grid, and throws the world into darkness. Among those of this world, there are those who obey his rule, and those who rebel against him. But this story is about neither. This story is an edgy man captured by aforementioned evil scientist. Inexplicably escaping, he ends up on the small planet, where he his body is augmented with the "EverSys". A powerful device embedded in ones spine, that has the power to manipulate machines with the power of thought. With this power, our protagonist sets out to avenge the murder of his girlfriend.

[ar-ninetysix]

I'm gonna be real with you lol I only read through the first paragraph and even halfway through it felt like you threw too much information that might be hard for a new reader to grasp. It's easy to see your own story for what it is with all the details and complexities, but that's because you've spent the most amount of time with it. This is more like sharing an entire outline or a short novel, you know?

I say that instead of sharing the plot, share the premise (or summary, synopsis, whichever term you're more comfortable with). Trim as much as you can, like.... imagine that you're in an elevator with a colleague, you try to explain all of this in one go under a minute. It can't be done! Unless you're stuck for like a good 10-15 minutes! So, again, trim it down, keep the very basic ideas when explaining your story or use comparisons such as "it's like ___ meets ___!"

I can tell you're passionate about your story so far based on the wall of text, but a wall of text can be daunting and time-consuming to get through! I have no doubts you've got a good story, but make it easier to get into and I'm sure more people would be inclined to hear you out~

[Reverof]

Ehehe... Sorry. Ill trim it down. It's just, I find it hard to express everything I feel is important to this story. Thanks for responding.

[Harmony-S-S]

Honestly, that is a good thing to do, but you should trim it down a bit, because you don't want it too long for people to be uninterested.

[Freemints30]

I'll be 100% honest with you. My eyes were glazing over as I read your summary. It sounds a lot like a generic evil powerful dictator of a dystopia VS good guy anti-hero's. plot. Now there is nothing wrong with that as long as the actual story itself is interesting. But with the summary that I have just read, it just sounds very boring to me and since the story hasn't been written yet I can't be proven otherwise. The power to manipulate tech thought is rather interesting thou.
I recommend not describing the premise but the interesting parts of your story that would make it stand out among the other dystopian plot.

[Memai]

There's no such thing as a 'bad' plot or story, just a badly told one Presentation matters! Think about it: If you take the plot of your favorite comic/show/game/whatever, it's probably not very good, or interesting. But because it's presented in such an interesting way, it works!

Poke holes into your story, ask yourself 'why' a lot. Why was his girlfriend murdered? Why does his girlfriend have to be dead and not be with him on his adventure? Why has no one stood up to this evil scientist? Heck, why is this evil scientist evil?

When you get to the nitty gritty, you can set up better ways to tell your story, and better ways to present it. Also, always leave a bit of a mystery for potential readers to follow. Your protagonist wants to avenge his lady love's death, but does he find out a much more sinister plot that only he can stop?

[Zaboem]

Okay, let me take a step back and look at this plot with an editor's eye. First of all, you're telling me a lot more about the setting than the plot. Those are two different things.

Plot: Two young lovers are separated by their feuding families. They risk disloyalty in order to be together.

Setting: Old World Italy
...or mid-20th Century New York City

Please refer to the different threads on book blurbs and elevator pitches for some advice on how to piece together a compelling description of your plot.

That all said, there have been brilliant stories written about terrible plots. I could name examples, but I've deviated from the topic of this thread already too much. There have also been stories with great plot hooks that didn't capitalize on that potential and ended up underwhelming. A solid plot is helpful but it should not be the determining factor of whether or not you should write your story.

[SleepingPoppy]

Welcome Reverof! I'm sorry you've had people in your life shut down your creativity like that, and I hope you can feel free to write to your hearts content here.

I read (most) of your first summery, and this is a big improvement already in presentation. Previously it felt like a stream of consciousness that both gave too much information, and lacked all of the interesting pathos and connective tissue that makes that information make sense! The new brief summery is much better as far as giving us something we can sit and wrap our head around. @Zaboem is right, though, and researching how to right a summery blurb, and how to write pitches would be valuable to you. =D

What really needs potential work is the pathos and character motivations. I think if I was going to give you one piece of advice it'd be to find a way for the main character to be more connected to the plot other than being motivated by his dead girlfriend. Right now you have a more or less standard sci-fi male power fantasy, and I think you can maybe dig a little deeper.

Having read bits of the other one, I can also say that it actually sounds like the dead girl friend had a more interesting story than our protagonist...

So you know, food for thought. Maybe you could wind her story into his story in a more integral way from the beginning, and still leave that reveal for the end. Might help avoid the "women in refrigerator" feeling, too. For example, either opening with a chunk of her doing whatever she's been doing, or have flash backs to her trying to execute her plan as BF goes through his stuff. And then show the actual results of her efforts at the end as previously mentioned.

But also don't get to hung up on making your plot perfect. Listening to advice is GREAT and please keep reaching out, and keep looking for resources to become a better writer. But also know that anything you write is worth it, because it got you excited enough to sit and write, and thats kind of a necessary part of becoming a better writer. Don't get psyched out or demotivated. Push forward.

[Reverof]

Um... Thanks to all who answered!

Um... I'm sorry, I feel like I have to say this. The GF has a huge part to play in the story, I guess I just didn't manage to express it.

Also, Im getting some pretty mixed signals, and Im kinda confused on what you guys are trying to tell me.

[Memai]

I think the heart of what everyone wants to say is your story isn't a bad one, but you can always improve on the ways you present it (to attract readers), and improve on the story!

Don't lose hope! We can always help suggest ways to improve the story and make it the best work you can produce!

[Alyssa]

Me like. I agree with Memai that the plot isn't necessary that integral as you might think (imo), but how you choose to tell the story. If you dissect some of the best stories and comics out there, you may find that several of them have very simple or common plots, but the way they construct their characters, how the weave the storytelling, choices they make, directions to take, and the overall tone create something cohesive and successful. Your plot sounds really, really cool to me, and something I would be super interested in reading, assuming you put enough thought into every other aspect of your story too. It sounds like most people are critiquing your pitch skills, so don't take it to mean it's not a story worth pursuing. Also, pitches are reeeeally hard to do well, most professionals still don't have it down. But it's definitely something to try and master! Anyway, I hope you write this!

[Reverof]

Ah! I see, thank you all for replying. Um... So, sorry I didn't reply sooner, I was going to, I just got distracted and I guess I forgot.

Also, I think I'm gonna try a different story for now. I feel like exploring some other options.

[kaiwang868]

I just read your plot. I think in it's current form it's not going to work because I feel like there is a lack of glue holding it together.

My main gripe is that there is so much backstory with the scientist, but them you say that "this story is about neither."

If it's about neither, then what's the point of having it there? It would just be more information to confuse to the reader. I always think its better to hold back the exposition until the reader demands it, or else it just risks the reader becoming bored.

Since the the heart of the story is about the protagonist avenging the murder of his girlfriend, I think the majority of the plot should focus on that, and less on the evil scientist. Unless you can make it clear how the evil scientist is connected to the main character has a clear impact on him, then I the plot feels convoluted. I'd focus on the main character and his revenge quest. That sounds like the heart of the whole story.