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WillisAuthor
Apr '19

Checking for Flat vs Round & Ways to Improve

You have a cast of characters, but often it is hard to see if they are round or flat. Sometimes we've based this off of the information given by the readers who have commented or critiqued that a or all characters feel the same or flat. So what do we do with this information?

First, take the time to list what contextual information you have revealed about each character versus what information you know about the character. One of the more common mistakes as a creator of new worlds and "imaginary people" we don't realize that we kept information to ourselves or failed to "write it down" in the content for readers to absorb. Once you have this list, start revising your work to include the missing information in order to repaint your image of the character from there. This may mean adding more description in several ways, not necessarily saying it but providing quirks indirectly can be useful. Three core ways I like to use are:

  • Observations from the Main Character/Narrative point of view
  • Add hints of behavior or note more specific description areas
  • Dialogue and banter can reveal relationship status and personality

These are the three ways I have used to adjust and correct moments where I have unintentionally left my “written version” of the character flatter than the one I have developed in notes or in my mind. In the rush of drafting out a chapter or story, it is not uncommon to skip over defining a physical detail (eye or hair color), including weapons and accessories pertinent to the scene, placement of where they are in the scene, coming and going of characters in a scene, or even unique behaviors that should be noted for that character. If three out of the four characters in a scene are nervous, make sure their physical states, verbal banter, and emotional states are all covered in some way.

For Example:

They were nervous, but I knew what I was doing.

Revised Example:

Sweat painted everyone’s skin except mine. Angela was tugging on her shirt hem and Mike was pumping his right fist while Lisa bit her lip waiting for my signal. I smirked, they were nervous, but I knew what I was doing.

Never hesitate to add some flare and movement. Just from this addition we get a better image of how each character is different yet they were all nervous. You also get insight of how the main character feels about this as he smirks, but at the same time there is a relationship cord added to this now. We have a main character who is observing those who were about to take action with them, something tangible in a situation like this. We may not know what they plan on doing, but we can see emotional and physical states here. This adds to helping round out both the main and secondary characters for the readers and plot.

I often get asked on a quick way to check a developed character for round or flat status. An exercise I have developed for myself has proven very useful in identifying characters by using one simple YES or NO question. Granted, this doesn’t mean the character doesn't need further development, but it at least lets you know if you are moving in the right direction. Picture your character, or even a line of your characters, standing in front of a classroom. We’ve all been there, or have seen classmates in this position time-and-time again. This gives us a real life comparison which helps you instantly know the answer. Your characters are lined-up in front of the class, standing there in front of the chalkboard, painfully waiting for the teacher to ask a question or explain what they are doing up in front of staring eyes. Now they’ve been standing there for a good minute, two minutes, ten or more minutes now, still waiting as the audience glares at them. Now, ask yourself this one question:

Do they fidget?

Real life people always do something, whether it’s tugging on their coat sleeves, twirling hair on a finger, shifting, moaning in annoyance, something and anything. Often I use the Harry Potter crew for a reference of what round characters would be doing. It helps that the HP series is school oriented and put into a movie format, but J.K. Rowling has done a wonderful job at rounding out her characters. If you picture any character emotionless, standing perfectly still, or worse, non-reactive to being put in this situation, then these need more development to make them round characters.

Why so much pressure to first make them round?

Character development can be painful or impossible on a flat character. Worse, I often see forced development on flat characters that pull the reader out of the story due to inconsistent character design. It can easily feel as if “Mike” has gone from a short-tempered, fist pumping, bromance type to “Mike” who just gave an awkward speech unbefitting of how the writer has written him until this point. There is also the fact that if you want a character to “change”, growth and development has to happen before this. Instant, unexplained shifts in a character’s design or development break a story and even the plot. It often leaves a reader confused and assuming something was missed or unexplained all due to a flat, under-developed character.

Another great example of round characters put into a situation and reacting is in Episodes 4 & 5 of the anime series RWBY by Rooster Teeth (Watch for free online! On Netflix too). At the end of Episode 4 (5:00 mark), a large line of characters find themselves being “launched” into the air and are expected to figure out their own way to land safely. Despite the large number of characters, each reacts to this in unique ways. This fun-personality-flash-through-action can be seen at the start of Episode 5 (0:30 mark) as they all resolve how they handle it. From this moment, you can already tell who fall under the titles of thrill seekers, serious competitors, clumsy, or talented. Also continuing into Episode 5 is a great example of the main character making observations of secondary characters to provide the audience with emotional feedback.

RWBY – Episode 4: http://roosterteeth.com/archive/?id=7944&v=more&s=1

RWBY – Episode 5: http://roosterteeth.com/archive/?id=7967&v=more&s=1

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iclryu
Apr '19

Cool, thanks for posting this! I've never done the list of things I said/didn't while writing, I may try this.

Before I start the story I create an outline heavily focused on character development. I write down the shifts in personality and what causes them. My first few chapters are also heavily focused on getting their voice and personality down for the reader.

For stories where I want them to remain a mystery, I keep the outline as a guide.

I agree with adding flare, but often my editor tells me I add too much flare :laughing:
How do you avoid too much in your writing?

I'm mainly a first-person, present tense type of writer. Something I recently learned to do when adding Flare during first person, present tense is not to name an emotion but describe it. So instead of my character saying, I am so embarrassed, I'd mention everything one feels and focuses before later claiming, "Oh, I'm embarrassed." As follows:

He walks past me, not failing to bump my shoulder. I don’t dare look up at the people around me. My head whips up as I see the retreating man headed towards the stairs. Anya is in the middle of them, staring at me with a look of pity in her eyes. He grabs her hand, and they disappear from my line of vision.

I glance to the side and a few people are still staring at me, while others pretend to have never heard the conversation. The fiddle starts playing on tempo again, and the men slowly start their clapping. My cheeks tingle and the tips of my ears grow hot.

I want the ground to swallow me whole.

WillisAuthor
Apr '19

It can be a hard balance. I often add a little in the first draft or too little. So I do a round adding in missing information or anything a glossed over. The next round is cutting the fat. Any repeat or paraphrased info, places where the wordiness is slowing the pacing down, or where clearly using "keep it simple stupid" would make it stronger and hit harder.

It's a constant give and take to get everything to that sweet spot. It's ok to do several comb throughs and break it into one focus at a time.

QueenofBabyLoon
Apr '19

I feel that this applies mostly when one uses the first-person point-of-view. Third-person gives liberty to the author to delve into a character's personality as deeply as he/she wishes, because the author is the omniscient god of the universe he/she creates.

First-person point-of-view is the most difficult point of view to pull off, in my opinion, for the simple reason that it is interlinked with the main character's or an important secondary character's personality. If he understands with perfection his or her surroundings, the thoughts and feelings of characters he/she interacts with, he/she acquires an almost divine aura. The overly perfect character who knows everything. And who the reader believes to be a perfected, egotistic reflection of the author's healthy self-esteem.

Then, using adjectives becomes a real struggle. The story is based on the character's thoughts. And thoughts, if we ever pay attention to ours, are based on efficient organisation of facts, not on developing a literary prose, soundtrack to our lives.

When I see a squirrel, I think:

What a cute squirrel.

As opposed to:

My eyes alighted on the small, delicate form of a grey squirrel, seated a few feet from me. Its nimble movements, nervous, anxious, yet so elegant, brought me a sense of awe. However, even the flicking of its tail, long, fluffy and so soft in appearance, could not retain my attention for long. Soon enough, I averted my eyes, my mind engulfed with the worries of a boring everyday life.

Nobody thinks like that. It is illogical, it is a loss of energy. Thoughts and language are not the same thing. We do not encode concepts we learn in the form we have learned them in. And we do not verbally convey them the way we have encoded them.

What I want to say is … to everyone who puts on their literary armor, takes their pen as a sword and goes to war against the shortcomings of first-person point-of-view, I am standing with you. Good luck! :cry:

iclryu
Apr '19

Oh I definitely agree! Interestingly enough though, I've found several novels (ones older than 20 years old) that do that. Some examples would be Anne Rice, and E.M Forster. Both authors like to write about characters who delve into the mundane and simple, leading to detailed descriptions like the one you used.

With that I guess we're back to balance, narrating based on what's going on in the story, and characters.

Writing can be a grey area at times.

Allyx
Apr '19
QueenofBabyLoon

Actually, I think second person is the hardest to write because it isn't used very frequently (but I'm sure you were only talking about first and third lol :joy:).

But as for the first, I think using your first example is fine when just showing their thoughts. You could still add details from the second example though, but it wouldn't be nearly that specific.

Like for example:

What a cute squirrel, I thought to myself. It looked a little nervous, but was still elegant and awe-inspiring. However, I soon became bored watching it and returned my thoughts to those of my boring, everyday life.

I guess to me, using a little detail like that isn't too much but still gives more description than just "What a cute squirrel." But I'm sure we all have difference preferences in terms of balance anyways.

QueenofBabyLoon
Apr '19
iclryu

I think I came across as criticizing authors who use first-person point-of-view which was not my desire at all. On the contrary, I feel it is really like going to war. You never know how it will turn out before you've actually written it down. So I am always in a bit of awe when I see people tackling it. In ever greater awe when I see people pulling it off convincingly.

Though I feel it is an art that is being lost. Less and less authors understand how delicate, how unforgiving first-person point-of-view is. When I have writers telling me arrogantly on other platforms that they think first-person narrative is easy, I just feel like retorting something cutting and unnecessary (albeit, unfortunately, true).

You gave a great example in Anne Rice, for contemporary literature. There is "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee, "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain, "The Great Gatsby" by Scott Fitzgerald, the magnificent and glorious "Great Expectations" by our lord and literary deity Charles Dickens (who was able to use both colloquial speech and first-person narration in one of the most compelling and heart-wrenching tales I can think about - he deserves our worship), and I can go on.

When done right, first-person narrative can be powerful, compelling, suck the reader into the story mercilessly, make him/her become one with characters. When done badly, it can become "Fifty Shades of Grey" or "The Hunger Games". I am not saying those books aren't enjoyable. I am however maintaining that they are a good illustration of how first-person point-of-view can make a work simplistic and rob it of all the subtilties of literature. Good luck using higher-level figures of speech with that type of writing.

As you said, there is a need for balance. We need to find that crossing point between a good plot and good writing, whatever point-of-view we choose. Heck, I struggle with third-person omniscient point-of-view, I wouldn't last half a day in first-person. The thing would eat me like a hyena a baby gazelle!

QueenofBabyLoon
Apr '19
Allyx

Do you know, I completely forgot second-person point-of-view is something that exists?! Thank you for reminding me! I think it is just that I have a dissociative disorder because the very thought of second-person narration is deeply anguishing to me (if I can't pull off third-person omniscient, if I view first-persona as a hydra with an infinite number of heads, imagine what second-person is to me).

However, I feel that in a work that can pull of colloquial speech well (I know many would throw me that sideward gaze, thinking I was referring to blue language - don't look at me so disgustedly, it scares me). Or maybe in the case of an author that desires to make the reader feel like a voyeur. I would love a short tale of someone examining a man or a woman, all written in second-person. Eerie and sensual. I can only think of one of Tolstoy's works that was written in second-person and even he had problems pulling it off (this stays between us, if ever anyone in my family saw me daring to even remotely question Tolstoy's greatness, I would get hit across the head with a chair). So, you've successfully made your point. Second-person is a monster that shall not be awakened by me!

Now about your little rendition of my previous example. It is not badly written, it is indeed closer to how people think in their minds. But don't you feel it mechanistic? Don't you feel it to be very action-oriented? "I saw. I thought. I did." Me, myself and I! I feel the rhythm is jagged.

But now we are reaching a very important point: personal preferences. As said, your rendition is not wrong in any way. It has enough of a colloquial feel to it to make it the realistic musing of an average person. However, the rhythm, the mechanistic feel is just not something I can get used to. Other people would love it and want it no other way.

@WillisAuthor, I am so sorry about this. I completely derailed your post! I am going to keep silent from now on. I just fixated on one of the subtleties that can create problems when doing character development and lost the bigger picture. Please don't hold a grudge, it wasn't mean to try and overshadow the problematic you raised!

WillisAuthor
Apr '19
QueenofBabyLoon

@QueenofBabyLoon You sparked quite a wonderful point in how any author should be aware WHY they would choose First person, Third person, or Narrative perspectives. <3 I was asked about this on a Fantasy-Horror panel during the Winter Park Book Festival. Granted, this sparks a large article I have in my own archives and will share at a later date, but for today I'll cover First versus Third.

And yes, @Allyx - Second person within fiction and literary usage is difficult. I only use it in article and blog style writing and even then I get nervous O_O. Doesn't mean it cant be done.

At the end of the day, a writer should know why they are choosing one over the other. There's no right or wrong reason, but here's some insight and reasons I've made this choice in my own writing.

For example, I wrote The Cedric Series and Tattooed Angels Trilogy in third-person. I wanted more freedom to be the type of "camera angle" to zoom out and show things beyond the character's scope. This is a great one for showing events on a larger angle or information disconnected from characters. This style also allows you to change the "vehicle" the reader is riding in and can be accommodating for work involving a larger cast of characters.

“What’s wrong? Is the venom still…” The heat radiating off Cedric's back was alarming. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” He pulled Barushka to a stop and slid off the horse and fell to his knees on the ground. “It’s not the venom.”
“What do you need me to do?” Angeline slid off the horse pausing in her steps when she watched the red in his hair fade to black. “What’s happening to you?”
“Stay back! Don’t touch me!” He was panting as sweat dripped from his face. “Don’t come any closer to me. Not a step closer.”

On the other side of the fence, I wrote Prince's Priest in first person. The first factor for this decision, despite having a similar feel in tone as the others, was the character needed to be in focus and I wanted the reader to connect hard and fast. Secondly, Dante's way of seeing things would be entertaining and flat out fun to write. The final factor was, I wanted to limit the reader's means of interacting with my plot and world. In this story, you are seeing, feeling, and interacting all via Dante's way. You see his thoughts, but the narrative content still carries that voice over and exposes to the degree he sees things unfolding. It doesn't mean I can't expose thoughts and internal workings in Third person, but the level of intimacy in a high-stakes moment is a completely different beast.

I stood watching Jonas and the Bishop struggling to pull the cross from the hearth.
“Dante.”
The old man had made it large enough to double as a blacksmith’s fire, never know when you’ll have to go to war again.
“Dante.”
PING! Bishop Marquis’ hand slips, the corner of the cross hitting against the stone slap of the hearth. Jonas curses under his breath, shoving it back into the flames to regain lost heat.
“Dante!” John’s fingers grip my shirt, tugging me closer. “Pay no mind to them.”
“But, shouldn’t I go help them?” Panic written all over my face, I protested, “If they can’t lift the wretched thing, what point is there?”
“Look at me, not them.” I did as he commanded, my eyes locking with his. “Gimme the belt and hold my arms. I don’t even know how strong my will is for something like this.”

WillisAuthor
Apr '19
QueenofBabyLoon

@QueenofBabyLoon And no, you did not derail the topic LOL. I write these to see and share and discuss. Currently I am working on a "Valerie Willis on Writing" book or set of books, so this gives me a chance to test the content I am crafting and see what holes and things I might want to include. It more of a "here's all the things on teh table and ask me what you want, I'll do my best on what I know about each, but it's still all about what works for you and your writing" so... I totally failed to cover the importance of knowing that POV does play a part in your Character Development ^_^

iclryu
Apr '19
QueenofBabyLoon

Oh, no, no you didn't! I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I agree with everyone in this chat actually. Everyone has made great points, hence why I said writing can be grey. Each point of view has its own challenge.

Allyx
Apr '19
QueenofBabyLoon

My rendition wasn't particularly well-written, so I see where you get the feeling of having a jagged rhythm from. But I guess point of view would just depend upon what the author is trying to convey, then (like you said). Some stories do better with action-oriented language. As my current novel is written entirely in third person, I can't say I've tackled that beast yet. Maybe I will later when I have more time.