Frankly speaking I don't understand why do you need another artist to do the linework because I can clearly see that you are using straight lines in your drawings which means that you know how to use line tools\vectors and\or line stabilizers.
If your current drawing software doesn't support line stabilizing you can always switch to Krita and use stabilizer in default brush's tool options, freehand path tool which can smooth your stroke to a various degree (from “iron out little bumps” all the way to “turn every stroke into a line”) before filling it with brush stroke or just use vector layers to do the initial linework. It doesn't even matter if you're drawing with a tablet, a mouse or a digital potato, there are always multiple ways to make your linework look clean and smooth.
Your pacing looks technically correct because right now you have only one character and practically no environments so the only thing you can do is to depict one action at a time, but stories like that require environments for atmosphere and action scenes so I'd recommend to help yourself with Sketchup or Blender. This will be also extremely helpful for your other project because you'll be able to handle machinery much easier.
I don't like to throw around condescending stuff like “do it yourself”, but in your case you will really benefit from learning your software and refining your working pipelines; don't try to dump that work on someone else, try to solve that problem!