Right off the bat, you should know that your description in the left hand side bar of your page is killed by the phrases "who seems to be a kind of" and "weird guy who calls himself." If you are pursuing a serious tone, you would do well to have a more reverent summary, especially if it's your own stuff. You put in the work, it won't sound obnoxious to take yourself seriously. I know that I sometimes am tempted to be self deprecating or irreverent to my own comic, but I say that's a trap. You've earned the right.
Ok, on to the Meat.
You seem light on goals and expectations, which is not an issue, and may even be a blessing. I love to see people finally get to start something they've been preparing so long for. It helps me put down emotional roots at the get go. I can share in a portion of the joy of creation, appreciate the drama of the comic's existence. I hope you're maintaining the energy and enthusiasm for your work.
You should definitely think about the type of reader you want to pull. Magic Fantasy is one hell of a big genre. It will help solve one of my issues--but I get ahead of myself.
You have disclaimers attached to your intro, but truth be told, I think it's by far the most compelling part of your comic. I was shocked when I felt Dark Souls vibes pulse through the screen. The murky recollection of ancient past, the somewhat eerie mystique of the two dead species, the reverence given to the history itself--it works very well, artistically. Sure, the polish and caliber of the lineart is lacking, and is definitely weaker than the last few pages, but once again, the lighting does so much work for you. Maybe it isn't perfect, but it does its job, and some of the sloppy line work is glazed over by admirable color and light. I love the intro. Definitely my favorite part. I wish the rest of the comic maintained that kind of grit.
As it is, however, the rest of the comic art seems out of tune with the intro. Your art definitely gets better as the comic goes on (for the most part), but it all feels like you aren't taking it as seriously--which makes it harder for me, the reader, to take it seriously. The art is more playful and light hearted. The subtle energy you build in the gloomier intro is deflated by the end of the first chapter.
A number of the backgrounds look muddy. The establishing shot showing her flying back "home" is incomprehensible. It's a glop of green. Many of the city shots are bland and slipshod, and the fight scene backgrounds are very difficult to understand. The fight scene in general has TONS of character but is hard to follow. Just in general, your comic has a muddy, messy quality outside of the characters that makes it difficult to appreciate. Some more care taken when painting the background--keeping framing in mind--will do wonders.
That said, the latest pages are looking sweet. More confident line work, an edge to the expressiveness, more convincing poses, and the backgrounds are getting clearer and easier on the eyes. I think you know exactly what you need to do. At least, your comic is telling me you do.
It's an intriguing presence--by that I mean the history of it all. I gushed over the intro, but I stand by it. As you mentioned, there are "lettering problems," in that there are quite a few typos. But all in all, I think I have the same issues with the writing as I do with the art. When it takes itself seriously, it kicks ass, and when it strays into ditzy comedy, it suffers. You're at your best during the serious moments, which is actually very unique among a lot of creators I've seen. People get spooked by serious moments; they feel the need to ease their own tension by ruining the tension of their own scene. You make that mistake only once, when Flare apologizes to Shade before the fight. Other than that, the intro, the heartwarming scene, the brief moment of contemplation on the tree, and the terror of waking are all effective and draw me in. When Flare is being a silly bitch, I draw back.
The dialogue itself is off and on. There's some awkward moments in the intro, and there are uninspiring anime-tier quips peppered throughout, but the dialogue never gets in the way. It is good enough, which is a GREAT place to start. I hope Flare shows more than the cliche spunk of the archetypal young-MC in the future. She'll need more if Shade is going to play the straight man.
It's too early--or rather, not enough has happened--for me to make a judgement on the story beyond that I think you are best served by taking inspiration from your intro. The mysticism and historical gravitas is magical. Use the goofy expressions sparingly, as they can easily undermine your serious tone and make it hard for the reader to engage on the level one would want, if a serious tale is your goal. Your writing is starting out at a dime-store manga level, but that's a perfectly fine place to start. As more dynamic scenes happen, you'll find the rhythm. Finally, if this is a work years in the making, please make sure you are treating it with the reverence it deserves. That will infect your readers.