"Muting is self care"

[lumisullivan]

Lol I agree when it comes to certain thing I tend to think "If I don't see it then it doesn't matter"

*View discretion is advised this mindset shouldn't be used in all aspects of life *

[Caro]

I honestly just try to cut out social media wherever I can if I'm not actively engaging with people.

Though I guess I don't really get upset over people's successes its more just... I dunno. I guess its hearing all the bad stuff, negativity, complete strangers online expecting me to engage with their trauma... idk how to describe it but I'm uhhh just generally too depressed to engage with that stuff. I lost all of last week to just a deep visceral reaction over something someone else was going through online that had nothing to do with me or anybody I know personally (but was industry-related). And it's not that I don't sympathize I just don't think I have the emotional bandwidth anymore.

Definitely better for my mental health to feel like I don't have to take on more than I can with that type of stuff. But since my job currently has everything to do with social media I just schedule posts and try not to look at it too much outside of friend's DMs.

[MeltingCORE]

I've unfortunately had to do the same but for the opposite reason (hatred towards me that I had any sort of traction at all). I decided to quit using Twitter as well because the politics were breaking my brain. I already know my country is messed up in certain aspects. I don't need to be reminded 24/7 when I already see it offline. I say, do whatever it takes to keep yourself happy and safe online! I've felt amazing since deleting Twitter and have done far better on the remaining socials I do have. Amazing as in... normal, nice users follow me.

[LCT_m_a_d]

Glad you were able to make strides in this area. It's something we should focus on for ourselves.

I've found less and less that it's no so much social media or devices or other peoples success that causes my anxiety, but not prioritizing my self-worth over what's expected of me. The volume of others have accomplished doesn't make what I do any less important (to me at least)

I'm working on not so much muting others successes but unmuting my own success.

[SleepingPoppy]

I don't even have a twitter, so that must mean I need so much therapy!

I feel like there's no obligation to even be on any particular social media, so why should anyone be obligated to keep voices they're not interested in on their feed? There's this weird aspect of entitlement implied here that your time and attention are not your own. Put energy into things that are good for you.

It's considered acceptable (and healthy!) to take a break from social media, why is it unhealthy to curate ones feed to limit it to the things one is actually interested in? Especially if you're using it for fun. Wild.

[joannekwan]

Agreed!

I think though there is some unspoken social expectation for individuals to be happy for others.
But like, why? I don't know these people personally and their success is entirely separate from whatever I'm doing. Yeah that's good for them, but why should I care?

Maybe I'm just a salt bitch but I need to save my emotions for people I actually know or interact with on a regular basis.

[jmhenry]

When every achievement/milestone announcement from the other person feels like a stone put on your back that presses into your mind about your own faults and shortcomings,

But why feel that way about it? One person's success shouldn't take away from yours. There is something to just focusing on your own goals and not letting other's victories eat at you. Besides, how can you expect anyone to congratulate your successes, if you won't for others?

I've felt amazing since deleting Twitter and have done far better on the remaining socials I do have

Can get behind deleting twitter though. Wish I could, lol
*waitaminute, no wonder I haven't seen your art there

[jmhenry]

Honestly, it's been a really long time since I've let the success of others get e down. At some point, it just kinda got pointless to compare. "Envy isn't doing anything to improve my life, is it?", Once you ask that, it gets a little easier to just focus on yourself and you own goals. Your life doesn't have to look like anyone else's to feel good about yourself, as long as where your going is a direction you're proud of.

This goes for real life and the creative side of things.

[rajillustration]

I fully admit to doing just this thing like three days ago. Felt myself getting salty because of someone else online and their weird success (despite middling effort) and I caught myself and was like "no. Just unfollow."

And I have not regrets.

Like you gotta do what you need to do to focus on your own work. If you are stressing about social media, that is not work. That is a distraction from projects you want to create. And like, after I cut a lot of twitter out of my life last year I recognized how much time I was wasting over there. It was not nearly worth what I got from it (especially since my twitter is too small to gain too many sales from)

[joannekwan]

Besides, how can you expect anyone to congratulate your successes, if you won't for others?

Maybe it was how I was raised but I don't expect to get congratulated. I don't expect any accolades for anything I do.

I don't really like posting about my milestones or achievements since I know someone out there is doing better anyway. I'd rather just go about posting my work quietly, hoping each piece I put up reaches someone and advertises the rest of my work in a way.

[TAMAnnoying]

I’m confused by this thread? Do people follow people that they don’t like? X3 do other people having fulfilling lives upset you?

Or am I completely miss reading this and it’s a “that YouTuber I used to watch let’s plays off now only dose podcast and so I’m leaving cause the content bores me rather then complain about it on their comment section” ?

Like for some people it feels like people unfollow people on Facebook cause they’re friends got married and they upset they don’t have a boyfriend yet? And that feels super fucjing toxic- but if it’s just “yeah the content dosnt interest me anymore so imma just leave” then yeah? Why wouldn’t you?

[SleepingPoppy]

But why feel that way about it?

Some people struggle more with their inner voices than others? One person's success doesn't take away from your own, but if you're in a place where other peoples success is becoming overwhelming noise and you no longer are enjoying following their progression, it's just not a big deal to make that quiet. Removing stressors is a really important part of regaining equilibrium. I think of it as making things quiet so you have the space to improve your disposition and regain balance, instead of forcing yourself to "deal" and letting things spiral.

Besides, how can you expect anyone to congratulate your successes, if you won't for others?

There are hundreds if not thousands of cheering voices for everyone one or two people that decide not to participate. Those same cheering voices are still available to cheer when the person taking quiet time steps up to the proverbial plate.

And the way I'm reading it from the OP and Joannekwan, the originally successful people are total strangers. If you don't have the energy to support JoeBob McArt on twitter lately, thats just not a big deal!

[DasIstWunderblyat]

Besides, how can you expect anyone to congratulate your successes, if you won't for others?

There are people who are deprived of appreciation and stuffs since childhood that acknowledging other people's success or praising them can be very difficult. "Oh, see the praises and recognition you never get? You're not getting them. Now, give this person your best praise you will never get because that's how social interaction work." Well yeah, it's like when you're starving but societal pressure expect you to cook beef wellington for people who eat everyday, with no guarantee you can eat yourself. Cannot blame them when they think "Why should I congratulate other people when nobody does the same to me?"

[jmhenry]

I don't really like posting about my milestones or achievements since I know someone out there is doing better anyway

That just seems sad to me... Not posting your milestones, I can get, but holding back just because someone's doing better just doesn't sit right. There's a difference between being modest/humble and holding yourself back from being happy because of others. It can't at all feel good, but your reasons are your own

[jmhenry]

And the way I'm reading it from the OP and Joannekwan, the originally successful people are total strangers.

I assumed the context was that these people were mutuals/follows on various social media, but both are gonna need to clarify that. Personally, I wouldn't feel too down about what JoeBob McArt was up to, if I was never following them from go

[joannekwan]

Yeah, in my post you initially replied to, I did mean feeling happy for strangers and not people I know irl and folks I see regularly and have had exchanges with (so like this forum).

But as far as my perspective on giving and receiving praise, I'm sure there's lots to unpack with me but I'm not a mental health professional LOL

I did use to post about milestones years ago when I was just starting my webcomics, but those were more for the readers who had helped support me to get there. I would draw little bonus pics for them or do a giveaway. I don't really do them anymore simply for lack of time. I'm jaded, busy with things, I gotta move on.

I guess the biggest achievement I celebrated recently was finishing my novel, but that was mostly to push sales of the print/ebook book. I didn't make a big deal with it and still felt weird when my irl friends congratulated me with a handwritten card and giftcard.

Like I know finishing a whole novel and 3 webcomics is a big thing, but I didn't feel like it was. It's just something I did. Onto the next project.

[jmhenry]

Didn't factor experience in ^^; I could see just moving on to the next project after 3 webcomics and a novel. Congrats on all, btw! That's nothing to sneeze at, lol

[joannekwan]

I imagine it's for accounts that start in a similar pool as the muter, so like similar engagement, followers, etc. and then the other just shoots off and explodes for one reason or another. And then they continually post about each milestone they break and it just gets taxing after a while? Especially if that constitutes most of what they post and they aren't posting any new core content.
Like how many times can one congratulate this internet acquaintance (if even, if not a stranger) before it starts feeling hollow? Any salt aside, I can imagine the person just becoming numb from seeing it all the time.

[Caro]

NGL though, this thread makes me so nervous about being someone with a moderate following and alienating my creator friends....

[sorible]

That's why I sort of stopped using my personal instagram but I'm still on my creator page from time to time to keep in contact with fellow creators.