My comic is back and I would be very thankful for feedback ^^ Be brutal lol

[Lunar-Turtle]

Well, my little story is now on Tapas. And I would be very thankful if you could check it out and give some feedback, be brutal and critize as much as you can.

Read Synastry - The Scorpio's challenge | Tapas Web Comics

Synastry - The Scorpio's challenge

[Lunar-Turtle]

Now I'm very, very curious

[NickRowler]

The backgrounds look really nice.

There isn't really enough story to understand what is going on, hopefully you will add context.

My biggest issue is the dialogue. There are grammatical errors and broken English.

"I knew I'll find you!" > "I knew I'd find you!"

"Vern, you escaped from retirement home again?" > "Vern, did you escape from the retirement home again?"

"I need to catch midnight menu at fastfood." > "I want to catch the midnight menu at [restaurant]" or "I want to catch the fastfood midnight menus."

This site is useful for checking Grammar https://www.grammarcheck.net/editor/
Or find a friend who can help be your editor.

[Lunar-Turtle]

@NickRowler Why didn't I get a nottification about your message? Damn it, this system used to be much more trustworthy.

And thank you, yes, I am not a native speaker, so iI may struggle in this field, thank you for the feedback and help ^^

[soda_the_coda]

There is not much to say about story, because it's only two pages.
First what did I like: visual storytelling and dynamics are quite good, it's easy to understand what's going on. Also the backgrounds, especially the temple looks good.

However, anatomy and proportions is something you need to improve. I know it's rather stylized art, but the faces look kinda... like potatoes. It's hard to say what's wrong. You probably aimed for anime style, so it would be a good thing to study similar styles to get it better. Also colours are very vivid, as if they were picked from basic MS Paint default palette. Maybe it's just me who is sensitive to vivid colours and I'm not telling you need to draw in greyscale. It's enough to make your color just a little bit more grayish/white. Light and shadow shouldn't be entirely white and black because it makes look the colours dirty. There are lots of tutorials how you make shading on the web.

It was already mentioned that you made grammar mistakes and it's okay when English is your second language. Just be sure to check your comic a few times before you publish.

And last but not least, your cover art. I'd recommend to put the title not in the center but above like most covers do. Also, the brothers don't look in eachothers eyes which looks weird...

[Lunar-Turtle]

@soda_the_coda I remember when this palce used to notify me abotu new messages and not make me look like a jerk that doesn't respond.

Thanks for the critique, it's really helpful. Glad I finally learned to draw background that look like livable world and not some weird dimension.

About the anatomy, I know it's far from perfect. Overall the whole chapter is, since it was a testing ground for the whole comic. And yeah, some faces can look kinda potatish. I am still learning in that department and I hope it will improve over the time.

When it comes to shading and colors. it was my intention to make things very contrasting, it was on purpose to make this chapter a contract betwen blue and red. That's why everything is so sharp. I understand it can be kinda a lot for people who may be more sensitive to colorsEverything being n dark may not really help that much,it's specific for this chapter. And i know some parts can look kinda messy. There are many things I did differently, but kinda lte for that now. So yeah, I know it's very flawed but at that time I tried my best, even though it doesn't look as well as it should. And I'll take everything you said into consederation for future pages.

With english, you are totally on point.

When it coems to the small version of the cover, it just didn't look right in the top. May be just mine weird opinion.

They are looking at each other, hm, interesting.

Thank you for the critique