Non-binary characters

[cherrystark]

I am curious how is the best way to write non-binary characters, in terms of pronouns. I have a character who is non-binary. She uses she/they pronouns. While I have a firm grasp on who the character is, I want to make sure I do the pronouns right. So far, the other characters use both pronouns when the refer to them and I use both pronouns interchangeably for solo scenes featuring the character. Any tips?

[BoomerZ]

You need to really spell that out at the beginning of your story as that will confuse most readers.

[cherrystark]

Okay. If I add the clarify that they are non-binary from the beginning, does the pronoun thing work? I want to be respectful.

[BoomerZ]

I don't see it not working for those that understand the non-binary convention. But for a non-native English speaker or someone not into that type of pronoun will just be very confused. You have to remember you are trying to be clear to the audience, and you can't choose your audience. Changing the english language to suit the story is very tricky as the english language is how you are delivering the story. It's like you changed all the verbs to adverbs in a sentence structure and expect your audience to understand what you are saying. Specially if you change back and forth.

[bulgariansumo]

Hi, I write a few nonbinary characters who use multiple pronouns. One tip I would give is if you have your character in a scene with other characters, use whichever pronoun differentiates her from the others. Say, if they're talking to two characters who exclusively use she/her, use they/them for your character. If they're interacting with other characters who use they/them, use she/her. Writing two characters who use the same pronouns in one scene can make it difficult for readers to keep track of who's who, so at least you have an easy way out of that when it happens.

I've seen people complain about singular they/them pronouns being confusing when it comes to referring to that one character vs. a group. My solution is, when referring to a group, use 'them two,' 'all of them,' etc. to indicate multiple people.

You already said that you make sure to use her pronouns interchangeably. Not doing so is something I have seen some people who use multiple sets of pronouns be a little annoyed about*, so it sounds like you're on the right track. Hope this helps!

*(Some people who use multiple pronoun sets are completely fine being referred to by mostly one. It depends on the person.)

[cherrystark]

I appreciate your comments. I think it's a good tip for interchanging pronouns. I also try to use the character's name when possible (the story is in 3rd person). I also try to use as much description both in character voice and physical descriptions to help her stand out as much as possible.

[NickRowler]

You don't really have to do anything too big. Some people introduce themselves with their pronouns. Ex: "I'm Kim, I go by she/them." You could also include their pronouns in their character profile. I did that for a character of mine who used he/them and I never had anyone complain or find it too confusing. The only type of people who make a fuss about that stuff tends to be people who don't like NB people which is probably not the people you are writing for.

For when to use which pronouns when, you could just switch whenever. You could also have some of their friends who are more progressive use the they/them while other people (older family members or young kids) would just use she/her.

[EncryptedWriting]

Oh my! I can speak about my non binary friend/ character. Their name is Ezra and whilst they were born female (and have some feminine futures) they declare themselves as NB. Now ofc there is no word of the sort in my time period but alas that's what they are.

My tip, if any, is act natural. They are like writing any other character expect (and nor limited to) they use different pronouns. They/them as far as I'm concerned. So when writing about them or referencing them, you can either use their name or refer to them as they / them. It's not too bad at all!

[cherrystark]

I am definitely trying to treat them as naturally as possible. I've struggled with NB characters as a reader because the author gives them zero description - like they are blobs living in a plot. It drives me crazy. I am trying to combat this by making them as normal as possible.

[darthmongoose]

With Jules, the She/They in my comic, I handled it like this:

When Rekki speaks about them, she uses "they" pronouns, because Rekki has known Jules for years, and knows Jules prefers "they".
When Subo sees Jules, who presents femme, for the first time, he talks about them with "she" pronouns, and Rekki doesn't correct him, because she's just met Subo, doesn't expect them to interact much, so knows Jules won't really care. BUT, by the following day, Subo has started talking about Jules as "they" because they're friends now, and the reason for this is...

When Jules introduces themselves to people they expect to spend more time around, in this panel, it's the mysterious activist known as Crow...

Jules specifies a preference. So characters that like them or are close to them always use "they" pronouns for Jules.

And when you see stuff about Jules on social media...

You can see details here like: Jules is publicly using a nonbinary knight title "Ser", not "Sir" or "Lady", and also specifies pronouns in their bio.

With Jules, I think they're somebody who generally prefers to be a "they", but can't be bothered constantly explaining to people, so won't fight the odd "she" from a stranger or aquaintance. Plus there's the fact that Jules likes to present quite femme, just as a style choice (because not all nonbinary people feel the need to be visually androgynous. Gender identity and presentation aren't always the same thing), and they get that for some people, that will cause the assumption of "woman", while they'd consider themselves more.... "woman-adjacent". I'm not NB myself, but took a lot of inspiration from a bunch of different NB friends.

The nice thing about this approach is that it's a little forgiving for the people in the audience who don't pick up on it and refer to Jules as a "she", because Errant does have a pretty broad readership beyond people who normally read queer comics. Often like Subo, after getting to know Jules more closely, the readers too start to call them "them". Some of the Nonbinary readers get angry at Jules' brother Urien for calling them his "sister", but Urien is already a huge jerk who treats Jules quite dismissively, so whether a person thinks that's fine, or if it's horrible misgendering a caring person wouldn't do, it still works.

[thel3tterm]

Hey, actual nonbinary person here.

Not everyone will agree with me on this, as we aren't a monolith, but I tend to prefer it brought up organically in a story rather than having a huge disclosure at the top of a page or story. Like having the character themself casually mention it like "oh yeah, both she and they are fine" would probably be the easiest way to make it clear to readers. Or the classic "my pronouns are... " works well, too.

I will second BoomerZ saying that it might be slightly confusing to non-english speakers. One of my characters uses they/them and I never explicitly said that my character was NB Gender Neutral and had one or two readers who weren't native english-speakers reach out to ask about why I used "they". When I explained it cleared things up pretty quickly.

(I've seen the approach where some creators like to put a notice at the beginning of a story or at the beginning of each comic page what the characters pronouns are. I know some other nonbinary folk appreciate this, but it comes off as aggressive and infantilizing to me, personally, where it's like YOU BETTER USE THEY/THEM OR ELSE! Again, we aren't a monolith and will have different opinions and preferences.)

Regardless, most of the ways mentioned in this thread should work well, and in most cases just having the character referred to as both she and they with maybe a casual mention of their identity should work fine for most readers.

[thel3tterm]

Oh, woops. I answered a question that wasn't quite the one at hand hahaha.
Using the pronouns interchangeably is probably fine.
Though, in real life, most people will default to a preferred one in speech, so maybe have some characters lean toward using she while others prefer using they? If the character explicitly prefers one, that could be a good way to show relationships with the other characters.

[coco-ji]

Based on what I've seen in the previous posts, there's a few ways to go about this. I'll just throw in my own experience with writing characters with multiple or they/them pronouns, so that you can see the overlap. I have 2 nonbinary characters from separate projects, one who uses she/they and another who uses they/them only.

For my oc who uses she/they pronouns, I would have information in the descriptions before each fic in order to avoid confusion since she generally uses her pronouns interchangeably in solo scenes or scenes exclusively from her point of view. However, if the character is in a larger narrative with the two other main characters (who she grew up with) then she leans heavily on they/them. In that case, I wouldn't have any info in the beginning and assume that the reader is familiar enough with the character's preferences up to this point to know where they stand. I also have her lean more heavily on she/her in scenes that focus more on her childhood.

My character for the series I have here on tapas uses they/them exclusively. They introduce themself with these pronouns to the first two major characters that they meet. While every other introduction (because the whole group meet a lot of characters as the story goes on) is implied to have this happen off screen. Simply because Bodhi always makes it point to inform any new person they meet, the readers can safely assume they would do such in those situations.

For this character, when it comes to handling pronoun confusion, I pretty much do what bulgariansumo said earlier. If I'm referring to the whole group, I make it really clear with "all of them" or "both of them". I'll also start sentences with their name and be more consistent about placing the antecedent (their name or 'the monk') right before any action followed by pronouns. Sometimes this means using their name more than I naturally would, but I believe it's necessary since I have 4 major characters floating around in a scene.

Lastly, I deliberately chose to use the singular reflexive pronoun "themself" as opposed to "themselves" when referring to Bodhi specifically. "Themselves" is only used when more than one character is involved.

[system]

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