On writing parents (mentions of parents in your story and a bit about how you write them)

Leyelle 2024-03-02 02:30:54 UTC #1

So parents are a huge portion of the plot in both "Hushabye Prince" and "Damsel in the Red Dress" imao, they have such a huge affect on who we become that they are worth noting, and writing well even if they are only mentioned briefly or in passing, though in both my stories parents are relevant, central characters. I have a tendency to write characters across a large age range that are all relevant in my stories rather than all the MCs staying within one age group. Hence, characters that are old enough to be (or are) my MCs parents are often included with the MCs, not just as brief mentions in scenes when teenagers are at home but as central supporting casts. One of the most obviously central parents to anyone who's read "Damsel in the Red Dress" is Mrs. Moon, but here's a brief teaser to next week's chapter. I hope everyone is excited :

As long as I can keep it together that - that much.

This is fine.

But in my head, I see the little dog with the world burning to cinders around him, and that’s so stupid I could scream.

It’s so me.

I don’t even know how I make it home, expecting every moment to wake up to find the car crashed into a tree. My nose broken. The world overturned. Seeing red.

Or white.

I don’t even lock the car as I leave it in the driveway and hurry into the house to change for my date.

Slipping on the pink dress, I fumble with the sash like I used to fumble with my shoelaces.

Take your time Licia. Why the rush? My papi would say. You’re always hurry hurry hurry.

Ordinaryaverageguy 2024-03-02 03:28:51 UTC #2

There's only one story I've written yet that had a parent play a significant role. I wrote her as I thought an ideal parent might be.

“You remind people of my grandfather. I think she may feel that, too. She cared a great deal for my grandfather and when he died, I think it broke her heart a little. If her spell causes her to begin to love you like she did him, then one day when you die, it will break her heart again. Once the spell takes hold of her, she won’t be able to stop it. I don’t want you or her to be hurt. I know this is a lot to place on your young shoulders but… mind your own feelings and be careful with her. That’s all.”

“Mom, she’s a dragon!”

“Son, even dragons have vulnerabilities… and she will let you inside her defenses. Understand?”

“….Yeah, Mom… that’s a little scary. But I’ll try to be wise, like you.”

“I know you will. That’s why I told you these things, so you know more about her. Without knowledge there can’t be wisdom. I trust you, son. She will, too.”

lignorice 2024-03-02 05:29:01 UTC #3

Parents are significant role in my stories. None of my drafts is absent from it. They are always interesting to write.

Limited in Eigria: Lume. It was mentioned from the beginning, and how bad Cenric, my MC who is a prince, with his parents (the king and the queen). I described it a bit in the released chapters, as they are keep mentioned here to there, but this sentence from a very future chapter basically summarize up the relationship for Cenric:

He (The King) simply does not care, unlike the Queen who resents him (Cenric) and whom he resents in return.

But I also write from the King's POV, which also way far in the future:

For him (The King), Cenric is no more than a simple brat, just a kid who simply has not done his rebellious phase, a twenty-three acting like a sixteen.

And believe me, Eigria: Lume has every character being a child or a parental figure. If I mentioned all, it'd be a very long (and very much) a spoiler, so I'll limit it to this!

DasIstWunderblyat 2024-03-02 06:47:03 UTC #4

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kyupol 2024-03-02 08:53:04 UTC #5

UrMom 2024-03-02 14:40:54 UTC #6

I never write parents into the picture for my stories, except for my current comic, although they aren't the greatest examples.

Spoilers for those who DO read my comic.

The only parents I have are Apollo's adopted parents. The mother is a smalltime, but growing, TV celebrity. The father is a SFX make-up artist. She saw that a few larger celebrities adopted special needs children, got a ton of attention for it, and decided to get one of her own. So she adopted Apollo, posed with him for the press for a bit, then tossed him in a large house with a nanny and a regular allowance, barely paying attention to him from that point on. Paying even less attention when she gave birth to triplets, who also suffered basically the same fate as him in the end. (Although she still favors them, and the rest of the kids she has, over Apollo due to him basically being adopted for aesthetics.)

Later on she kicks Apollo out for being gay, but goes on to act the part of a huge ally for the camera.

My mom did her best, but I've never had first-hand experience with those fantastical great parents who are open and emotionally supportive of their kids. Whenever I see it via media or the occasional RL second-hand encounter, it's so alien. My whole family is insanely constipated with affection and expressing emotions, and I could live a full life without talking to any of them on either side, I have no interest in being a parent myself either. That kind of translates into my stories, I've notices, with my abundant lack of parents. (Or good parents.)

More spoilers

There is ONE character who was almost a parent in my story, and he was a fantastic guy. He wanted to adopt Julian, but was a teacher who doubled as Apollo's live-in nanny at the time, so he had no solid place to live and couldn't adopt them. Managed to land an interview with a collage in Cleveland, but on his way out he hit some black ice and died in a car accident. Super cliche tragedy. Lol

Granted, this all happened before the start of comic, so he only exists in flashbacks and conversations.

Leyelle 2024-03-03 12:12:09 UTC #7

Parents are not inherently written as great parents in my stories, they are just people, and often they and they're kids are not great people, they do good and bad, back and forth to each other.

ButterflyEmpress 2024-03-04 03:31:53 UTC #8

Parents are somewhat significant in my story, but only for the two of the main characters.

Akina wants to be perfect for her parents since her mom is never proud and her dad still sees her as a little girl. Dad thinks Mom is pressuring Akina into following her failed dream while Mom thinks Dad wants Akina to be a "loser" like him. Akina grew up believing her mom, but reconnects with her dad later in the story.

Niyu's dad passed away when he was a baby. As a kid he learned about the cool things he used to do and wanted to do them too. His mom had struggled with depression which motivated him to go into therapy. Mom is worried that Niyu is centering his life around his family and not being his own person.

AmysGames 2024-03-04 04:37:07 UTC #9

There's a lot I could say about the parents in Niji Chikara, but a lot of it would be spoilers currently... let's just say there's a wide variety!

For now, we've met Chishiki's mom, whose primary personality trait is wanting her loner daughter to actually make friends for once.

cherrystark 2024-03-04 05:54:44 UTC #10

I wrote my MCs to be parents and it's actually easier to give them motivation and background . Yes, it adds some strain to add more characters to the mix but it's also easier in a sense. Like the cast has down time - family day. Lone wolf character needs purpose - now he has grandchildren. Why is she going absolutely feral on a bad guy? The bad guy threatened her baby. Fun moments - cousin sleepovers.

Leyelle 2024-03-04 15:48:23 UTC #11

currently, my leads are not parents, but one of the very main characters is a parent, as the parent of the male lead, and the way she raises her son, and the decisions she's made to try to give him 'the best' life possible play a huge role in the plot

Leyelle 2024-03-27 17:44:46 UTC #12

Dad drop: This dad is a very sweet and loving parent who both his kids still love and like spending time with though they are 28 and 32 years old:

Leyelle 2024-04-05 03:49:10 UTC #13

Do you think having the mother be the ideal makes the story better than if she had been imperfect?

Leyelle 2024-04-18 02:33:52 UTC #14

None of the characters in my story are 100 percent perfect, but I really decided to add more details that made Alicia's mother a sympathetic character, at least to the readers, despite Alicia's blind hatred for her mother that refuses to sympathize with her mother. She's justifiably angry, but she finds it easier to stay mad at her mother than to let herself feel sorry for her mother. Especially since there's nothing she can do to help her now.

There are ghosts in the room.

One is a curtain and one is a long shadow that moves as the hours leak out of the day-

I think my eyes are open but I know they can’t be. It’s-

Late.

Nearly midnight or early morning I’m sure and for the first time in not nearly long enough I find myself dreaming about my mother.

The shadow waterboards me.

Not how she looked the last time or-

At the funeral, but way back in the recesses of the days, I thought I’d burned to ashes-

That’s another one of those…

Bad signs.

But I don’t have the energy to rage against that dark night.

I stare at the painted sunrise I see clear as the end of day on the inside of my eyelids as Mami kisses my forehead and prays over me-

Is it okay to admit I’m scared of the dark?

Andrew is snuggled up under my chin because he’s convinced there are monsters under his own bed - not under mine, apparently. But he has his own prayer. This one's for me.

“Peace, my love, my daughter, my heart. God watch over you now and every moment. Guide your steps as you walk…”

But where did her steps lead her?

Leyelle 2024-05-14 03:22:03 UTC #15

Another mom is now a central character in this story, as Melissa Xochitl, who is quickly becoming one of Alicia's bffs is the mother of a teenager named Rodrigo. She loves her son to bits, probably spoils him a bit, but in general, they have a very healthy family dynamic between her, her son, and her husband. I generally don't write perfect moms (and Melissa is far from perfect) but with everything, I try to write the characters the way that makes the most sense for the characters and the story. The loving way Melissa talks about her husband and the attachment that her family seems to have each other actually strikes Alicia in a weird way, making her a bit uncomfortable because she's never experienced anything like that and it just further serves to show her the way the things she thought were normal or good are definitely not right.

(first intro to Melissa and mention of her son, but more is coming later this year)

SumireHime 2024-05-14 07:07:22 UTC #16

As a queer writer, parents are strategic placements in my stories. Parents can be extremely toxic to their queer children, or they can be extremely loving. They all have their different motivations based on their own morals. They're often a teachable moment for the reader about how to treat a queer child and how that treatment affects that queer child when they grow into an adult.

For example, Sana in "Lyra's Magnum Opus" has very toxic parents, in particular his mother. His mother grew up with very traditional morals and an affluent and old money background. This comes with a strict guideline on how a child is supposed to be, and therefore gender roles are very rock solid in her mind. Sana was raised to be the perfect little wife to a powerful man, whoever that man is that his parents would choose for him to be married to in the future in order to make the best financial match for the family. Unfortunately in his situation, Sana is a transgender man. Her interactions with him are entirely motivated by her wanting to save face in her affluent world. It's a world full of well kept secrets to appear like a perfect family and therefore keeping up with the Joneses.

On the flipside, Sana's husband, Tetsu, grew up with an extremely loving family that is middle class. His parents escaped arranged marriages (arranged marriages are normal in their culture, especially for their generation) and married for love. Therefore, they believe their children should choose their own partners and marry for love. Tetsu's parents have known he likes boys since he was 11. They love their son and lift him up. However, they worry for him as well. This causes friction between him and his dad, who doesn't know how to show his emotions due to the stoic way he was raised in the country. It comes across as not being supportive of Tetsu, who is training to be an onnagata for the traditional arts since he was a small child. However, it is revealed far into the series that his father was supportive all along, but merely so worried for his son who will be judged for everything he is including his chosen career as an onnagata as an adult.

It's so important that the parents have their own motivations. These motivations determine how they will interact with their child and affect their life. I purposefully wrote two sets of polar opposite parents for "Lyra's Magnum Opus" to show how different Sana reacts to the world due to his toxic parents' influence and how Tetsu reacts to the world due to his loving parents' influence. Sana is highly anxious and worries he's a burden for everyone due to the core belief that no one loves him, not even his parents (who eventually disowned him once he turned 18 and refused an arranged marriage with a potential business colleague's son that would have made his parents' business enormously successful in China). Tetsu has much more confidence in how he interacts with the world, because he was raised in a loving environment with so much encouragement in everything he does. It's a natural confidence that he isn't aware was learned.

Leyelle 2024-05-14 16:00:59 UTC #17

This applies to all parents I think. There are a horrifying amount of things you can mistreat a person for (or use as excuses to mistreat them) but it's just as possible to love people.

I definitely agree with this. The reasons why they do things has such a strong affect on their kids, so it should never be arbitrary in my opinion

Hmm. I don't think I've done this before with any of my stories. While many of my characters' parents in my different stories (even within "Damsel in the Red Dress") are very different, they aren't intentionally written as polar opposites, but just as the way that made the most sense to me for who they are.

I don't consider them guidelines for how to or how not to raise your kids. In some ways they do well, in other ways they don't, but none of them are perfect and most of them have hurt their children in some way, even when they love their children dearly, and their children love them back.

Leyelle 2024-05-27 19:10:57 UTC #18

This whole chapter is from Mrs. Moon's POV, and I love the way it balances showing all the good things she's done trying to raise her son, with all the subtly awful things that are so thoroughly mixed together that it's hard to judge whether she is an angel or a villain at the end of the day.

Kat is next to me in a moment, climbing up on the wooden chair, and sitting on his little knees so he can study us both in the mirror.

“I look like a tiger,” he laughs, not quite happily, closing his fingers and holding his chubby hands above his head like little ears.

The tear streaks are still on his cheeks from last night.

“Didn’t you wash your face this morning, Kitty Kat?”

When he looks up at me, the streaks seem to stand out bolder on his face.

“Lo siento,” he mumbles.

“We’re alright, sweetness. Mami’s got you,” I smile softly, trying to make him smile back as I wipe his face with my handkerchief. “This is better isn’t it? Now you look like a cute kitty.”

This time his smile is a little bigger, as he looks at himself in the mirror, before turning to put both his little hands on my cheeks.

“You look like Princess Jasmine,” he giggles, and his eyes close into little rainbows the way Victor’s would on the rare occasions when he chose to smile. “But you’re not going to marry Aladdin.”

“Never. It’s just going to be Mami and Kitty Kat,” I say with a bit of firmness as I pick him up so I can sit in the chair.

He looks at my face for a minute, his eyes like black checker pieces before he peers back at the vanity, settling himself on my lap with both elbows on the table.

Leyelle 2024-06-12 13:40:24 UTC #19

Parents are super essential to "A Dozen Morning Glories." Both the male and female leads parents are alive and play a central role in the story (with the exception of Essence's dad.) They show a lot of different combinations of caring for their kids and not doing the best in the way of parenting at the same time. I think every family's dynamic is different and they do different things right and different things wrong. Essence's mother I consider pretty sympathetic, and it was part of how her character evolved from her original design until now, in the process of writing her. While she doesn't have the best attitude and is pretty cantankerous, her perspective is something easy to understand, which makes her more than just a bratty mother who doesn't know how to talk to her daughter kindly.

I also think the way the circumstances are flipped, with Essence being so young and yet caring for her mother, and being so somber in comparison to her mother's almost childish personality, becomes a visual representation of the way Essence hasn't gotten a chance to be young because of all the responsibilities she has, including caring for her mother.

Leyelle 2024-07-10 14:47:41 UTC #20

While Ayla's parents don't play a huge role in the story, it's because of her mother's actions, which Dorine deems 'irresponsible' that Essence ends up basically being the primary caregiver of not just her Dorine, but also Ayla. It's a lot. Essence's mother decided to take over the 'care' of Ayla because she didn't want her being shipped off to distant relatives and having to switch schools, but since Dorine can't even care for herself after the stroke, Essence is now caring for two people.