Oct 2016
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Oct 2016
Oct 2016
hades
Oct '16

This used to be around but vanished to the depths. So, I'm starting a new thread.

The point of the game is to give both helpful feedback and a positive comment on the comic that is posted above you. ^^
You don't need to stick to just one critique or comment but please try to keep it in equal standing.

This isn't meant for in-depth reviews or shameless self-promotion. So please do not post unless you actually do read the comic above your own post. Thank you.

I'll do an example on my comic Ark17.
The positive:

  • Good use of color!

The critique

  • The writing is a tad rushed for being a first chapter. Don't be so hasty and let us get to know the characters!

With that said.
Have fun. c:
The next poster, feel free to do it on my comic that I listed.

  • created

    Oct '16

  • last reply

    Oct '16
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ArhyaM
Oct '16

My turn!

The positive:

The sequence is clear and the action easy to follow.
And the color, yep, I like the color :>

The critique:

Some background / maybe showing more distant planes on the "white area" would help to locate the characters better.

And here's mire: https://tapastic.com/series/The-Glow9
(since it's long, I'd like to hear about the last chapters if it's possible. smile

Kamikaze
Oct '16

Ooo! Neat work Arhya!

The positive:
It's really awesome to see your progress from the very first page to the last. I can see you've really improved not only in style, but in consistency of your characters, understanding of anatomy and your lettering.

The critique:
Focus on your backgrounds. You've improved a bit over time, but I can tell you're not really interested in drawing the world because so much of your work is against total black or white backgrounds that leave me with the impression that the characters have no sense of space. The backgrounds you do have are obviously rushed. Spend some time studying animation background art, and check out tutorials on youtube or vimeo on speedpainting (there's even LOADS of free brushes you can find for speed painting out there). Additionally check out SketchUp for building background sets out. There's TONS of free models you can download and place around your set. It's also really easy to build in. Using models can really help you with perspective and cut out on complex shots. That means you get to start inking/coloring faster wink

My Comic -> Kamikaze3
Because it is long Imma take a page out of @ArhyaM's book and say check out the last chapters if you're short on time. :3

haleymewsome
Oct '16
2

Wow you got a lot of pages on here, mad props for that first of all.

The positive
There's a lot of polish in this comic, the art is very consistent and clear. The typography is also good and clear, very classic comic book style.

The critique
I personally would rather know more about the characters than see so many establishing shots in the beginning, I feel like we didn't have time or reason to care about Jackal or his death. I also feel like the posing of the characters and their facial expressions could be pushed farther to be more dynamic and expressive. The last note is I feel like there could be a lot more showing rather than telling, there's a lot of text and exposition.

My comic -> Unfamiliar5

Quinineer
Oct '16
1

@haleymewsome

The positive
I love the style! The characters are interesting, and very expressive. The backgrounds are also lovely.
There's a beautiful storybook feel going on here.

The critique
Maybe try different perspectives and more contrast. The colour palettes you use seem to be very pastel/soft. While this is a good thing, I noticed the light/dark contrast in the first few pages and perhaps more of that would add depth to your artwork.

My comic -> Faery Tales2

JessJackdaw
Oct '16

@LukeisBootiful

Positive: You've got a really good sense of comedic timing. Panels and jokes hit at the right time and don't linger on much at all which is super important for a comedy comic! Nice!

Negatives: I would work on cleaning up your linework a bit as the messiness tends to make your bubbles illegible sometimes. A good rule is to always give your words and bubbles some breathing room for maximum legibility! : >

My comic:
https://tapastic.com/series/Pest-Caravan3

UrMom
Oct '16

Well, here it goes!

@JessJackdaw
Positive: You've got some really great visuals, and unique character designs. I love your style of shading and use of colour, it all conveys a nice, soft atmosphere that fits with the light-hearted feeling the story has so far.

Negative: The scenery looks a little rushed at times, feeling out of place compared to the rest of the visuals. Such as the cottage and trees in the establishing shot on page 7 felt unfinished, or messy compared to the following panels, which had a tighter look... if that makes sense. Maybe for shots where the background/scenery has more focus, try putting in a little extra time to tighten them up a bit. <_<'

My comic (Do not read if you're uncomfortable with nudity, and/or slightly gross visuals):
'VTGtaHR'4

shaneoid77
Oct '16

@Bloomer

Positive: Wow, you get that level of depth with pencils! That is talent!

Negative: I noticed as I was scrolling a lot of white walled houses, which, while shaded well, I felt made the background in scenes feel a little samey.

My comic Heroes of the World and Beyond1

sauropasquini
Oct '16

@shaneoid77

Positive: Colors and effects are nice! I wish I'll be ablt to do like you.

Negative: Ink lines are missing too much details, it looks unfinished, despite the colors.

My comic is Casabase7

anismegharia
Oct '16

My turn !
So @sauropasquini

Positive : The big positive point here is the improvement in the art since your first episode. Honestly, it's great ! Your style got more personal and neat. And The colors add good impact on the episodes. Good job !

Negative : I'll try to be objective here. So first is, your scenes are way too similar. For example in the two last episodes we feel like we're looking at the same panel four times. I know it's hard to be inventive and mark novelty in a Comic where all the stories happen in a Baseball field; and that's why you should expand your horizons and make your characters get out of the field, like, explore their personal lives for example; when they're home, when they hang out with friends..etc. It would give more appeal to the story and the characters. Second is, your comics is supposed to be a comedy one, and I didn't laugh once. I know humor is a matter of taste and is different from person to person, but I still think getting your characters out of that field would give you fresh ideas of gags and puns that would improve the comic drastically !

Hope I was useful ! smile

Here's mine ! The Brightest Hour1
I know about the poor writing and misspellings, I translated the whole thing in too much haste. So please tell me about other negative aspects in your critique !
(I didn't correct it cause I'm gonna redraw some pages I think so it would be a waste)

Isky
Oct '16

Okay so... @anismegharia

Compliment: Although you only have one episode out, I think your art is great! Pretty stylish. Your character designs are pretty cool and make it easy to distinguish each character. I can't wait for the next episode.

Critique: That being said, there isn't much I can critique with just one episode. I suppose I'm confused with what's going on right now. Like whose wallet did Iris (that's her name, right?) steal? So it's kinda hard to follow the narrative structure. Maybe I'm just an idiot though, or maybe the next episode will clear things up.

So this is my comic: Rich Fiction3

Merle
Oct '16

@redsblueyoungster

Compliment:
The storyline is very unique (working in hell!) And it seems you spent a lot of time on research (without wanting to sound inappropriate: boobs haha)

Critique:
the lines are very stiff and the colours are too shy. Try using burn with decreased opacitiy and a very bold colour (blue) on a different layer, it will rock your shadows

My comic: Patterns in Snow.2

sauropasquini
Oct '16
anismegharia

To everyone: Don't count this comment as "the last one". I want only to reply to @anismegharia .

Anis, your comments are really appreciated, thank you.
All the Negative aspect you noted, are already in process, because we already noted ourselves.

The first one, same panels repeated, is an habit derived from passing the style from a "weekly strip" with single puns, to a full story "weekly page" publishing style. In a strip is essential to repeat a panel, changing only expression and balloons, to reinforce the pun and to give continuity to the scene. In a long story, instead, it's almost mandatory to vary the reader point of view, expecially when you need to mark some sentences with a physical emphasy. The new pages I'm drawing are already going in that direction.

Even the suggestion to go "out of the ballpark" and inside the characters private life is already a project. This first episode is focused on a Summer Tournament, where children are sleeping out in tents, near the ballpark, palying two matches each day. Next episode will be focused on the Regular Season, jumping from the training to the matches, passing through their personal lifes. You read our mind.

The last one is more technical. When we started to draw Casabase, it was a "weekly strip" type, so I chose the "Comedy" category (also because there is not a Sport category!). When we naturally passed to a full story "weekly page", I chose not to open a new series and to continue after the strips. So now the Comedy category is perfectly fitting the first part of the episodes, not the last one.
I asked the staff for a way to separate the two parts without loosing all likes, comments and subscribers, but I received no answer.

antimekii
Oct '16

@pearl1

Compliment:
I like the effort placed in every background.

Critique:
I noticed a few typos like in chapter 1(2,3)-managed, chapter 1(8)-sure. Maybe double check it first? Also the speech bubble
placement could be improved on. Maybe work on your color palette too? I'd love to see the depth of the backgrounds. Overall I think the suspense is holding up, it has a lot of potential.

My comic: Mosquito Girl4 Aha, I am aware that this story is quite confusing at times but I have no idea why? Also it's quite long, sorry.

punkarsenic
Oct '16

Compliment:
Your pacing is good; theres a good combination of slowed-down story and quirky punchline moments.

Critique:
The white poles w circles on top for generic background characters doesnt really work - its odd, confusing, and doesnt match the rest of your background. i understand the technique to make rufus stand out, but id recommend giving your background characters more form (dont worry about colour, the grey thing works well)

my comic: There was a War1. please dont critique the font in the prologue its all anyone ever tells me abt so its not helpful

carythehat
Oct '16

@punkarsenic

Compliment:
I love the look of this story. It has a primitive (in a positive way) element to the art that I think works quite well for the story so far.

Critique:
There are a few moments where the storytelling is a bit murky. I do like the use of unusual panel shapes but there are a few instances (i.e.- using the arms of the captors to define the panel) where it gets a bit confusing. Other than that, it is a really intriguing comic.

My comic is Who is The Girl2 (and, I know that people have some issues with the font choice)

Pandastrophic
Oct '16

@carythehat

Compliment:
A very interesting concept and story, I really love your art and how that works so well with the atmosphere and themes in your comic.

Critique:
While I do really like your art style and the textures you use, I sometimes feel that in some scenes the textures cover up the faces too much and it becomes harder to see their facial features.

My comic, Socializing1016