Thank you very much for the analysis and rewritten paragraph.
I do have a tendency of writing too much. My first 10 chapters were all shortened by a thousand words by my editor. Currently, it's not so bad but I still have that bad habit. I'll try to keep that in mind when I'm writing, even though it's a lot harder than it sounds.
As for the comment about character feelings, it isn't included in this paragraph, because the previous paragraph looks like this:
“How did he do it?” Nathan smacked his hand against the grassy ground. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
This shows his feelings. If you feel that you could improve on this, and you feel that this isn't enough, I'd be happy to hear how you would change stuff around.
Once again, thank you very much! I really appreciate it.