Review Request - Fantasy Novel: First Chapter

[InfiniteLine]

Here's a SNEAK PEEK at my upcoming fantasy novel NPC Academy. Not looking for much in terms of review here. In fact, I prefer if you read the linked sample for enjoyment rather than critique before coming back to these three questions: Is it engaging? Do you feel a connection with the MC? And most important, do you want to keep turning the page? Of course, any additional feedback is welcome, if you feel so inclined.

Thank you in advance for anyone willing to take a look. And happy to reciprocate a review at any time, just DM me. I appreciate you!

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Teaser:
Everyone knows slimes are the weakest of all Monsters.

Hex is a slime. An anxious, naive, self-conscious slime.

And he will save the world.

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Long Description:
Wait… You thought the Non-Player Characters in your favorite fantasy games lived leisurely lives when not being slaughtered or handing out quests to heroes…? Think again. The nexus of New Pacea that connects all other worlds is ripe with its own dangers and mysteries. At the center of it all is the famed Academy where Monsters and Humanoids alike learn the skills necessary to cross into other worlds.

Hex is a self-conscious slime Monster who has his life uprooted and is forced out of his isolated home to join the Academy. Slimes are the weakest of the weak, the lamest of the lame. Yet, Hex finds himself dragged into the center of a centuries-old rebellion full of secrets and intrigue beyond his wildest imagination.

With a wacky crew of friends by his side, Hex must do something he never thought possible…

He must become the hero that saves his own world.
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Here are the first two posts—1 chapter (I do pretty quick episodes). Approximately a 6 minute read:

NPC Academy Sneak Peek

[mima_sighs]

I think I would actually like to read this story if it does come out! I like Dracala hahaha (I keep imagining her has Draculaura from MH for some reason... is she closer to a bat or to a human in terms of features?) but the color of Hex's slime is severely taking me out, I just hate puke/snot color slimes but he's interesting so I'll suffer through it.

If it's not too much trouble, could I request a (@) ping so that I can read this when it comes out?

[InfiniteLine]

If it's not too much trouble, could I request a (@) ping so that I can read this when it comes out?

Umm, only definitely! Thank you, you literally just made my day! 2 months out waiting on cover commission, then I'll begin posting.

In my head Dracala is closer to a bat--fairly cartoonish, but she could totally be closer to a human if thats what you envision. I like to use minimal description for my MCs (aside form key features) so the reader can visualize them how they want. Except Hex apparently... I just want everyone to view him as a pukesnot. THOUGH, as the father of a 1.5 year old, I can confidently say that he's not quite the same color as snot!

[InfiniteLine]

Anyone else willing to take a look? I will gladly review something for you in return: comic (the storytelling aspect, not art, since I’m not an artist) or novel.

[Katzalcoatl]

Looks good. Can't really say anything negative. It has its charm.
Can't say I dislike it or that I like it considering how short it is.
Would I continue to read? Yes.
Will it keep my interest? Like any work we have to wait and see.

Interesting start and a cute slime image.
Vocabulary wise it is easy to understand by anyone.
Writing style: something likeable for me. All writers have different styles. I have to say I like the way you put dialogs (I see japanese novel influence in your writing style but maybe I'm mistaken).

At first glance grammar is good.

[HonorableTakoyaki]

• Speaking as a reader, I found it somewhat engaging. I'm unable to pinpoint exactly why I did not find it incredibly engaging, but that's because I'm not really good at critiquing (Although, I think perhaps one reason may be because it's only the beginning?)

• Did I feel a connection with the MC? I sort of did! Hex shares a few similarities with my own series' MC before volume 2, (According to what I've seen) such as: Condemning their own powerlessness and a fierce will to help/save a friend.

• Would I keep turning the page? I agree with @Katzalcoatl. I believe it's still too early to see.

That's all from me!

[InfiniteLine]

Thanks for the feedback!

Interesting start and a cute slime image.Vocabulary wise it is easy to understand by anyone. Writing style: something likeable for me. All writers have different styles. I have to say I like the way you put dialogs (I see japanese novel influence in your writing style but maybe I'm mistaken).

I aim for easy to read prose so glad there. I've actually read very few japanese novels, so that must be a coincidence!

Speaking as a reader, I found it somewhat engaging. I'm unable to pinpoint exactly why I did not find it incredibly engaging, but that's because I'm not really good at critiquing (Although, I think perhaps one reason may be because it's only the beginning?)
Did I feel a connection with the MC? I sort of did! Hex shares a few similarities with my own series' MC before volume 2, (According to what I've seen) such as: Condemning their own powerlessness and a fierce will to help/save a friend.
Would I keep turning the page? I agree with @Katzalcoatl. I believe it's still too early to see.

That makes sense - The engaging bit is a tough one. Could be anything, haha. Could be that there isn't too much of an epic feel to the beginning (though hopefully it will slowly grow to that point!) Sometimes I worry about that with this story and wonder if I should be starting with a later more epic flashback as the prologue... I love writing self-conscious/low confidence characters (probably because it's relatable to me...).

[system]

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