40 / 88
Sep 2016

@agentfink My first impression is the amount of detail in the illustration- it's lovely and balanced, without detracting from the overall clean "feel" of the panels. The blue-grey shading is calming and merges nicely into the idyllic scenes from the first few episodes. Straightaway, the characters establish casual interactions which feel natural and everyday. As the comic moves forth, I get the feeling that this is a small, quiet town; back of road where nothing serious happens or keeps the police busy. I liked how Randy and Ezra had a petty argument and were handcuffed together to playground equipment while everyday citizens walk around. It's small touches like these which hint to the kind of setting this is. So it's a real shock when the sheriff sees the coyote with the hand. The atmosphere completely changed, and I liked that.

Artwise, I notice the lineart is halfway between sketchy and clean- however, it works surprisingly well with the palette. There isn't much to criticize here.

When the scenes change, it feels a little abrupt, but I managed to settle in and familiarize myself with the situation. Personally, I found it hard to remember everyone's names, but note their roles. For example, I know who was called by the sheriff to the body, but not her name.

When Franklin is introduced, I immediately felt a liking for his character. I had a feeling he wasn't very social and wondered why he would be where he was. As the story progresses, it falls into place and makes sense.

Overall, I like the character dynamics and flow of conversation. Everything in this comic wraps up nicely into an intriguing mystery. The only suggestion I would have is to maybe make the names more prominent, but then again that could be just me. Also, you got a new subscribe. Can't wait for more and I'm glad I found this little gem.

My comic is Faery Tales4.

I'll review "Faery Tales"

The first thing I did was just kind of check the differences between the first page and the last page. Your comic is relatively new so there wasn't much difference. I felt it wold be wise to see any potential changes or improvements made throughout the comic. Since your comic is new, I do feel that my review is going to be very simple. I can only do so much with 9 episodes

I enjoy the semi-dark/mature take on the story. I get sort of "Brother's Grimm" feeling when reading it. I always enjoy stories that try to be a bit more serious. Again when you only have 9 episodes and essentially 9 pages I can only say so much. I find the backgrounds, while simple to be pleasantly designed as if they have their own uniqueness to them. The overall mood of the comic is enticing.

I feel like your character art and backgrounds contrast too hard. Do I think the character art needs work, yes but I also feel I'm not exactly the right person to tell you how to do it. I sometimes think your characters should have a similar approach to your background and just give your comic a very surreal look. If anything your "human" character contrast too hard with the Wolf slightly less so.

You obviously seem to have put a lot of work in the design and your wolf looks quite nice. I especially like the usage of lighting for the eyes that give it that glowing effect. I do feel you should variate your shading a bit, as on the wolf though. I've noticed its the same thing again and again. I'm not going to ask that you get descriptive with the shading, but it would be nice to see some uniqueness. Again giving that wolf the same texture as the background I feel would just make the comic a bit more unique and surreal.

For the speech bubbles, I think you should probably try to have pre-made bubbles at the ready. Some people can make a good speech bubble. I can't, I need to use a tool to make a good oval or something. Also, you don't have to have those thick lines tracing off pointing to which character is talking.

Since the text is color coated, its already easy to tell who is speaking. If you wish to point to a speaker, just make a tiny mark or arrow from the speech bubble in the direction of the character. It'll help make your comic look just a little bit cleaner.

For the action scenes, I think should try to add in a few different angels and positions. This was something I had a hard time with when I firs started drawing and its one that, occasionally comes up even now. Your action scenes I think are a bit stiff at times. Try to be flexible so it feels like your characters have life to them. It will also be nice to give your action scenes more emotions.

I'm a huge manga fan so I'll use this as an example. The ever popular "Dragon Ball"

2

Notice how the panel contains speed lines that give it the sense of movement and high speed action. Piccolo Junior's blow is added with a burst against Goku's cheek and the "Krak" enhances the feeling of how strong that blow might be. Helped also by the facial expressions of Piccolo Junior's "fury" and Goku's "Pain and shock"

now imagine if you took out the speed lines, the "Krak" or the blow against Goku's cheek. It wouldn't look nearly as good. Try it out, and don't feel unafraid to add more to your comic. Action scenes can be hard some times but practice and you'll get better.

There's not much else I can say. Your comic as I've said is new and other than "keep improving" I can't say much else. Don't feel let down and keep working hard. We all start somewhere new and as long as your willing to continue practicing and improving you will ultimately be able to create some good work. It might not e now but surely in the future.

My Series:

War of the Heavens4

Hey, first off, thank you so much for the detailed and thoughtful post to the person above you. I really appreciate it. I will try to do the same for you!

'Way of the Heavens'

Title
I ALMOST feel like the title is too direct. In my opinion, the titles that most entice me are the ones that are not directly to the point, unless meant to be perhaps humorous or add to the personality of the comic. Just a suggestion to create the desire to learn more about the comic.

Art
You put a lot of detail into your comic and clearly put in a lot of hours. That means you don't mind working hard which is admirable.
I feel like the style of the art is a bit confusing. Perhaps it is just your own artistic style but I feel like it wont attract a large audience. If you wish to sharpen perhaps your perspective skills and drawing bodies Udemy7 offers classes both free and those you have to pay for. Some classes can show you step by step how to draw perfect bodies, and then you can go from their and add your own style.

Structure
Amazing layout. I can really tell you are super skilled and have an eye for comics and the best way to invoke feeling and create atmosphere. Very good.

Story
I am a TAD confused by the story. Your characters are very expressive and I think it is a good skill to be able to create those emotions but I was a little confused as to what was doing on when it came to them as individuals.

As I read on, I can see your pages getting better and better. There are a few things that you are really advanced on, things most other people can't do. I would say, if anything, focus on proportions and your bodies.

I hope this review was alright! It is actually super late for me and I didn't want you to wait for it. So I hope it is acceptable!!!

Good luck!!!

Fight Me!7

“Fight me”
Art
Big plus for (mostly) normal proportions and body shapes of the characters, but… well otherwise I wasn’t impressed, sorry. The artwork looks messy, the colours are off and most of the drawings appear to be photographed/scanned through a dirty lens/screen. In my opinion it could look much better if the author spend some time cleaning up the pages between scanning and publishing.

Lettering
Definitely needs more work to clean it up and unify the style. The handwriting in balloons is difficult to read and it takes a lot of attention to decipher it – which means it is more difficult to follow the story. Then there is the “arial” narration – with uneven margins, out-of-the-blue borders and messed up alignment.

Plot
I am not able to comment on it yet, as, after reading 4 episodes I still don’t know what it is all about. I didn’t understand the whole concept of fighting, but I suppose it’ll be explained later?

Overall the comic needs a lot of work, but I'm sure that it'll be worth it!

My comic is:
Tales of Old Gods8

Hoping for relentless criticism of my work!

Review of Tales of Old Gods1

Art

The choices of the panel's picture motifs is a strength.
Certain perspectives like the tree from below and the tree lying on the ground are especially appealing to me. It would be nice to use such perspectives when it fits for humans as well as it strengthens the dynamic of the images and simply looks intriguing.
The coloring gets cleaner as the pages move along but there is still room for growth. The shadows don't create as much of a 3dimensional experience as they can. The shadows are mainly used on shape edges, feel free to make them larger on voluminous shapes. That would help a lot in defining them as tangible bodies and objects.
Thus, it's best to study real life shadows and good photographs.

In the first episode, the forest could feel livelier by adding warmer tones here and there if wanted. Not so much that it looks like wild pop art of course, just little touches. The colors work best in the second episode in my opinion. They are dramatic, have variety, beautiful cold and warm contrasts. In the third episode, though there are panels with darker colors corresponding to the plot I feel there could be more intensity and variety to it.
The colors overall feel like a similar range of midtones. As the story ends on a happy note, for example you could use slightly more saturated and brighter colors, or even sunrays.

As your style seems to be aiming for a realistic expression, maybe studying the works of classic painters can help you develop further.

Text and Lettering

The logo and story tilings look both fitting and impressive to me as fonts. They seem perfectly fitting for the story theme.

I much prefer the story font chosen in the two later episodes. Comic Sans does not serve a good purpose at establishing a serious atmosphere, so good call on that. If you do want to edit this work further, it's much recommended to use the same font as later in the first episode.

The overall use of text makes the series feel little like a comic.
This doesn't have to be a bad thing, it's just unusual here. There are nearly no dialogue text bubbles, even where narration wouldn't technically be necessary. This makes it look more like a picture-book.

Depending on what you'd like to go for I recommend replacing narration that basically explains dialogue with actual dialogue, e.g. "So Mokosh called for other Gods to help." with something like "Oh Gods, please help me!" or not doing dialogue bubbles at all anymore (like in the third episode).

I think both placement and visual aesthetic of the font can be improved with a different approach to paneling. You can try leaving more space between images and text, as well as distributing paragraphs into smaller sections. The paragraphs feel like word walls e.g. where there are four of them in the second to last panel in the third episode. Even when text is well readable and placed with visual "room to breath", it can still happen that people will prefer reading works with shorter paragraphs instead.

Maybe there is a way to include descriptions of Slavic mythical terms into the comic pages as the biggest target group may not know these words yet. Reading them after the actual page can hurt the reading flow or some people might miss them altogether.

Paneling

Each episode has a very different kind of panel distribution and also design. While the first one has a white background and loose panels with partly no strict defined frame lines, the second one has a black background and the third a mix of frame lines, black outer border and white background inside the page. Unfortunately this makes it more difficult for the series to feel like a connected entity as the pages differ on first sight already. It also leads to the assumption that the planning beforehand may have used more time because it doesn't look like it was done intentionally as a design choice.

For the future I recommend experimenting with styles before starting the actual series and deciding on one style.

Overall

I find the choice of topic intriguing but am not the biggest fan of the execution unfortunately.
The characters of the stories feel distant to me as there is no intimate characterization. Dialogue may help with that but using the fairytale-like quick narration pace can only go so far. Deeper character connection can be reached by more original content, giving the characters more action, feelings, thoughts, maybe even outside of the plot surrounding them.

In any case, I hope you will continue and shape your works more and more into the vision you want to reach.


Here is my comic: https://tapastic.com/series/STTH7
I'd especially like to know if the paneling is appealing/ too stiff and whether or not the punchlines work.
Of course I look forward to your other observations!

Hello @CatharsisGaze

I shall be reviewing your comic.

ART

The art is nice and clean. The cartoon expressions work fine. Don't have anything to critique really. Nothing looks out of place or stiff which is good. Its a sign the artist has been at this gig for a while now and it shows in your style. smile Personally, I'd like to see you challenge yourself and maybe do a few strips in full color in the future. Even when you think you've got everything down pat, there is always room for improvement. Always.

WRITING

As a writer myself, I wouldn't worry too much about the comedy. Its all in how you do it and for that, I was amused by a few of your strips even able to relate to the biology one. The cartoon-y style you've got going on also helps sell the punchline in your strips. Again, its all in how you execute it and so far you are doing just fine

OVERALL

Honestly, you are doing a fine job so far with your slice of life comic. You've found a nice balance between the art and the writing which is always a plus in this line of work. Hope you enjoyed this review and maybe even found it helpful. smile

Anyway, here's a link to my shoujo influenced slice of life comic, Life of an Aspie2

Hello @Aspie_Gamer !!
Hope you don't mind my review of your lovely comic.

You managed to conjure up quite a relatable suspense which immediately grasp attention. The familiar setting and characters help draw your readers in without much background information which is great. However I think you could be a bit less liberal with the use of bold lettering because too much of it could lessen the dramatic effect or emphasis of dialogues that are actually important.

Draftsmanship-wise I think it is very smart of you to recognise your weakness in architectures and utilise tools to overcome it. I also love your use of textures as it worked to create a classic manga look. As for the characters I would suggest a bit of anatomy study and perhaps life drawing sessions to help improve the proportions and overall structure. Stylisation is a good thing but it should be grounded in a solid understanding of reality in order for it to be believable.

Last but not least, I think the storytelling would benefit from a bit of camera angle variations as it would help enrich your setting, currently your layout can be a tad bit flat, try imagining yourself looking at your characters from various directions. Can't wait to see how your story unfolds, keep up the great work! smiley

Here is mine: https://tapastic.com/series/Terradea3 Please feel free to be as harsh as possible and rip it apart! smile

I'd like to review this! Gimme a few minutes =]

EDIT: Few minutes, hah! Talk about underestimation =P

Okay, so as per your wishes I'll rip it apart as much as I can, but first lets get the stuff I want to gush over out of the way:

I love art deco and I love your art. I really dig the noir, the themes, the tone, the world building - it is all done very well.

Now for some (hopefully) constructive criticism!

Lettering

@keii4ii mentioned it in the comments, but there is a lot of difficulty with the speech bubbles. I had to read it twice before I understood what I was looking at. I'm still learning tons when it comes to lettering but I'll try to give you what suggestions I can.

So it seems like you wrote the dialogue yourself, and while your writing would definitely be very good and legible at a greater size with less words per balloon, here it is very difficult to decipher. Also keep in mind, many people use the mobile app. If you want to go for the handwritten look, I would suggest looking for a font online. Visual consistency would keep things easier to read.

Also, consider your use of multiple balloon dialogues in terms of the content of what is being said. Here it looks like you ran of room so you put another balloon in: "And once" is kind of stuck between two balloons.

As an example of how to go about dividing up your balloons, in this same panel I would place "ain't that right?" in a separate balloon because she is changing who she is talking to.
Also, you should even take into consideration how you break up individual lines in a dialogue.

Also in the next panel, "c'mon Dia, I was just yankin your tail" should be a little higher, otherwise the bubble order is a bit ambiguous. I read the top one first.

Finally, often letterers put emphasis on proper nouns the first time they are used to show that they are important. This is because many comic fonts are always capitalized! For example, Haven Rocks (and perhaps even the first time a character calls it just "The Rocks"), Port Nova, and Mina Song should all be bold. If something like "the wall", mentioned in the broadcast, is not exactly a proper noun but still important to know about, perhaps emphasize it in a different way. Italics maybe. You want to point the reader's attention to important things just like how in composition you want to direct the viewer's eyes toward a focal point. If you look back at this paragraph you'll notice I put one of your proper nouns in bold. See the difference?

Writing

Spelling mistakes!!! Grammar mistakes!!! Always check for these!

Also, your use of language can be a bit unclear at times, especially during that opening broadcast. I would suggest having someone take a look at your script beforehand. This is especially important because in comics you really need to learn how to trim the fat for the sake of space. Nobody talks in Buffy-esque or iZombic one-liners in real life (wouldn't it be great if they did?) but they often do in comics, because the language has to be crisp and clear.

A lot of your writing is too verbose and it effects reading.

"OUR EFFORTS AND LABOUR INTO THE CAPITAL HAS
CREATED NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE"

vs

"OUR NEW CAPITAL IS NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE."

Some of your language is a bit unnecessarily odd like "past panderers". I'm taking this to refer to people nostalgic for the old regime but "panderer" doesn't work to well. I understand that you tried to use a lot of alliteration here but lines like "REVEL IN THE JOYOUS REVELATION..." miss the mark. Be precise about what you mean when you use words. Revelation has a lot of meanings attached to it that make it an uncomfortable fit here. I would write that line like this:

"REJOICE, VICTORY IS AT HAND - SO LONG AS YOUR DEVOTION TO THE CAUSE IS UNMITIGATED."

The character is meant to be gushing over this regime, but show that using word choice, not word quantity. I italicized the last part to make it more ominous. Even how you present your writing can convey meaning.

There's a lot more I could go into but I need to finish my own page tonight haha.

Misc

All of your page widths appear different. I'm not sure if it's on purpose but it seems odd.

Final Thoughts

The story seems very deep, and once you get the technical stuff down, I'm super excited to see where this goes. Subscribed.

Here's my comic, Knights4, for the next viewer =]

I'll review the comic Knights. Just give me a bit to read through it :y

Alright, review of Knights.

Art - The art is, honestly, kind of all over the place. The constant use of obviously ripped images, badly artifact-d textures, weird 3d modeling, and tracing overall gives the comic an incredibly sloppy appearance that makes it look more like a collage than a cohesive comic. Nothing looks like it came from the same source, or exists in the same world, and that's bad. The windwaker panel sticks out as exceptionally awful, as it's literally just a trace with what looks like a ripped 3d bag sprite you found in some videogame, though it's definitely not the only time I recognize stolen assets. This is a horrible idea for a lot of reasons even beyond it just making your art look bad, as copyright becomes an issue, and many people who recognize stolen assets and tracing will immediately drop a work using them.

The art does improve in the most recent updates, the characters both look like they're actually drawn by you, or at least drawn with minimal help from a 3D modeling program, and they're in the same style, but I'm not sure if this is because you've entered a scene where the background essentially no longer exists and the ripping is less obvious, or because you've actually started drawing everything yourself. I recommend sticking to just drawing things. The more recent pages look significantly better, they're much more cohesive, the flow is better, and generally, while the random "anime" panels still seem weirdly out of place, it starts looking like the art you'd see in a pretty decent webcomic. I'd recommend working on facial anatomy, specifically laying down guidelines to help keep features where they should be would help a lot, but otherwise the most recent pages genuinely look good.

Characters - The characters so far seem interesting. The girl does seem to follow a very specific trope, the boisterous tomboy, and you've gotta be careful balancing characters like that so they don't get grating, but so far she comes across as more interesting and useful to have around than anything. The male character hasn't shown much personality yet beyond basic normal reactions to things, but it's obviously still very early on, and he seems like the he'll develop and reveal more of himself to the reader as time goes on. I do wonder about their clothes, and why his seem so much more traditional than the girls, but, again, I figure this is part of the lore of the world that will be revealed in time, and it's intriguing. You're doing a good job on this front.

Writing - Can't comment much on overall plot just yet, but the basic writing of the comic isn't bad. As mentioned the random "anime", and referential "joke" panels strike me as being heavily out of place, but overall you make a good use of layouts and dialogue to convey what you want to convey. The emphasis in speech hits at the right points, and it flows pretty well.

Other Comments - This seems to be more common on this site, and my complaint here may very well just be a pet peeve of mine, but the constant huge non-comic interruptions make maintaining a reading flow hard. It might not hurt to go back and remove announcements and extra images as you update just to keep your archive clean for new readers so we aren't constantly being interrupted by outdated announcements, and random author notes. Maybe more them to an extras comic or page if you must. It would make the fight scenes flow better, and overall just improve basic readability in a really simple way.

Overall you are improving, but there's still room to learn here. I normally don't recommend going back and editing existing pages, but with the amount of ripped assets used early on I'd honestly recommend re-doing the worst offending panels. Good luck moving on, and try to remember that your own work will always come out looking the best. =)


Next reviewer can look at my comic Catihorn2. As is probably obvious I do not mind harsh critique. Rip it to pieces if you must. : y

@epiale I reviewed Catihorn!

Alright, first thing I have to say is I honestly really enjoyed it! I wasn't originally planning to do a comic review on this thread, and I only gave your comic a look out of curiosity. However, I soon found myself halfway through the comic, and figured, "why not?"

I think the strongest element of the comic so far has to be the writing. Raul and Prince Uni's personalities are both well established, Raul is reluctant and gloomy while Uni is camp and lively. The dialogue does fine, it doesn't feel forced and your characters all have fairly distinctive voices. You also managed to get your plot going pretty concisely as well, without feeling rushed. Not a lot has happened so far, but I'm getting all sorts of vibes from the backstory and foreshadowing you've dropped so far. Lastly, this made me laugh. I like it.

The art services the comic fine, but I feel there's some room for improvement. Your colors are pleasing to the eyes. The pastels you used in chapter 0 and the first half of chapter 1 made the comic feel rather fairy tale-ish, an appropriate mood imho considering the fantasy setting. Even the colors in the dank dark bar managed to retain some liveliness with the warm light coming from behind the characters.

The anatomy, however, could use some work in this comic. One issue I saw was that characters constantly lean their heads in rather than hold their necks upright. Additionally, some proportions are a bit odd. Most of the characters have heads a bit big for their bodies or too long of necks. But honestly, your faces have improved since your first pages, so good on you for that! : D
Two last things:
I noticed a lot of panels were head shots or torso-up, and your charactersare most often seen in 3/4 angle. Try mixing it up a bit! show more panels of fullbodies, or try drawing your characters in more, different angles!
You draw ungulate legs well. Your hooved people look good. I appreciate that.

Overall, I'm really enjoying this comic so far. The characters are likable, the plot seems to be going places, and I'm interested. Keep up the good work! c:

My comic's Household Slime Mold1, if anyone wants to give that another go.

Thanks for the review (I don't mind the harshness). When I started out, I had a cheap 2" by 4.5" tablet that glitched out all the time, so I used a lot of CC0 and edited sketchup assets to help out. Faces were hardest because I had to keep zooming in really close to get the lines I needed but when I went back up, things were off. Big part of the art improvement was getting a bigger tablet - the art became a lot closer to what I draw on paper. Its funny though, the "3D bag sprite" I actually did draw without any references haha. I also learned a lot about using color between updates so that helped too. I've always planned to eventually go back and recolor things once I've got a standardized workflow.

@nessiefynn

Just read your comic, Household Slime Mold, and decided to put together a review for it!

Art:
I love the art; the style of the characters is sort of this unique blend of Western and Eastern animation/cartooning; I like that about it; the character designs are complex enough to stand out; but simple enough that they don't appear as if it would get tiring to draw them over and over; which is great if you're doing a long-format comic.

There's less of a focus on backgrounds and more of simplistic feel on the panels that do have background; you could probably flesh them out a little more; particularly if you want to give the readers of a firm "feel" for what the setting is and etc. Honestly, though, I get this. I'm not the biggest fan of backgrounds, and unless a character is going to be there for awhile I tend to minimize them myself. (Maybe just for setting that you want readers to remember specifically). This is getting more intricte in later pages, I'd say.

I like the overall coloring, especially during the outdoor scenes when you sort of have this single color going on; like a lot of blues and teals for a single page. It does well to set the mood and establish the setting and feeling.

I noticed a few really good dynamic set ups for your panel compisitions as well! There are places where you could probably vary the angles a little more as well as the distance of the characters from the "camera," but it's not that noticeable; the only reason I mention it is because I find myself doing similar things. This also really got more engaging in the last couple of pages that you posted.

The art is improving as time goes on; as it usually does, and it's really great to go back and compare from beginning to end. smile

Writing:
The characters work as great foils for each other, I think. I like the contrast between the sort of grumpy, solemn, stoic Chancel with the more cheerful and upbeat Satyr character; they're like this feeling of them being at odds but not enough to dislike each other; especially because the Satyr is always just so cheerful.

It doesn't seem rushed; it takes awhile to get into the action in a way such that I don't feel like we're learning too much about the story too fast; you're a ways in and we have learned enough for it to be interesting without revealing too much of the story; a comic that you can read one panel at a time on a weekly basis is great; but if I wanted to re-read this all at once I'm sure it would be just as entertaining; it becomes evident in this sort of situation whether or not the action and plot is rushed.

Other:
The text is easy to read and the amount of dialogue seems to work great.

Overall there are not many complaints I have with this comic at all! In fact, now that I've read it, I'm subbing. x'D

My comic is Between Hay and Grass1

Really cute idea,. Wimple but so far enjoyable with just having the family be so diverse and a bit crazy. Cant wait to see how they are all socially connected not just blood wise, and the art is very colorful and proportions are all sorts of cartoon.

Afew artists who do this style i feel cant get enough cartoon or enough real with proportions like these so it;s fun to see this.

I will say though I hope we see some form of a plot with the characters interacting as in 18 pages not a lot has happened.
This next part might just be me but it also seems like the point of view is always zoomed in real close. The backgrounds have this feeling that they want to be seen more than the characters and especially with the smaller character like the grandpa and Persephone. Of course this could be just how they see the world from their height so its more a nit pick.

looking forward to more

https://tapastic.com/series/Right-Down-the-Hall4

This is the newest addition to my gaming/slice of life comic series. Let me know what you think

Hello @SillySixShooter I will be reviewing your comic Right Down The Hall.

I like the art style. Nothing looks weird or out of place and your style as a whole looks very clean too which is always a pleasure in the webcomic world. Plot wise I don't have much to say since this is a "gag" series from what I've read. You seem to have the basics down when it comes to writing jokes such as comedic timing. I got a chuckle out of your use of serious detailed faces in the Fire Emblem Fates strip. The only suggestion I would give it maybe try to be a little more consistent with your updates if at all possible. smile

Life of an Aspie5 is once again up for another review.

I'll write up a feedback for the Life of an Aspie!

Feedback for Life of an Aspie by @Aspie_Gamer:

-Based on the title, I'm guessing there's going to be a good deal of focus on the condition, rather than some "the main character just happens to have it" thing. I like the subject; it makes the story feel more grounded even though it has its share of exaggerated zany moments.

-I see a lot of panels with headshots, i.e. talking heads. Use body language to communicate emotions and moods. e.g. Don't just show a laughing head; show what the rest of the body is doing. Is he rolling on the floor? Pounding the desk? Hunched over? Pointing at whoever it is that he's laughing at? Show us!

Showing more of the body also helps with clarity. Last panel of ch4 p6, for example, I have no idea where he's standing in relation to the person he's talking to. That might not sound like a big deal, but this kind of micro-confusions can add up.

-I also see a lot of exact straight-on angles. It makes things look more stiff. Angles are hard to draw, but try to mix it up a bit? It doesn't have to be dramatic like worm's eye view; just something subtle like 3/4 will make a difference.

-Looking at the top panel in chapter 4, page 3... I recommend avoiding very wide speech bubbles, especially since you're doing a right-to-left comic. The wider the bubble, the stronger my tendency to read everything from left to right. Obviously, that messes up the visual flow for right-to-left comics. But it's bad even for left-to-right comics, because unlike prose, the eyes follow a less structured path when reading a comic page (since you're looking at the art too). If you make the eyes follow a wide straight line of text, that clashes with how the eyes take in the visuals of that panel.

-The art has improved quite a bit. Keep on trucking!

-I like your use of tools for the background, like the school exterior. Saves a lot of time! However, you can do a bit more work to make the tool-made background mesh better with the freehand drawn figures. For example, it's odd that the lines in the background are thicker than the lines in the figures. They should be roughly equal thickness, or even the other way around (thicker for the foreground, thinner for the background). And the short, loose strokes in the tree leaves look a bit out of place compared to everything else; no other part of your style has quick loose strokes like those.

-The posters on the wall in ch4 p6 look out of place. I would definitely recommend at least tracing over them. (It'd blend in even better if you drew them without tracing, but hey, I get sometimes you need to draw a very specific, known image like that wave artwork and it's a pain to copy an exact image freehand...)

-I got a chuckle out of "Ass-Burgers" XDDD It's a bit odd though, when I remember that these characters are supposed to be talking in Japanese?

Sorry it's a bit disorganized. Hope you find it helpful!

My comic is Heart of Keol1.

Hello @Aspie_Gamer! I said I would review your comic but I forgot to reserve the spot. So I will do some more "reviews."

I have only read the first chapter/pilot episode so far but I will certainly be reading more.

I was quite taken to the illustrations. It reminds me of the "drawings on paper." It's childish, but crude at the same time though consistent which is what makes it flows.

It also gives me a sense of the personality of the main character Susan. She is quite fixated (a trait of anyone with a form of autism) yet passionate about video games and her friend is the perfect friend for her, as I can imagine how their relationship will progress.

The only thing I believe that would make this first chapter better is by making sure the resolution of the images stay constant. In the first part of the pilot, there is a lot of blurry and pixelated images going on,making it hard for me to understand what they are wearing, where they are, and what they are doing. I do not play video games so through the dialogue alone, I didn't realize it was a game play fantasy.

Other than that, your tones looks great, the character's designs are memorable and recognizable, and I love how detailed Susan's eyes and eyelashes are from everyone else!

Here is a link to my brand-new comic "Backlight": https://tapastic.com/marinazaratescomics2